Cold Spot, Hot Spot

Hello buds! I've been so bad at visiting blogs and I haven't even been able to see much of Mango Minster. I'm feeling a little poorly and some days my secretary just wants to hang out with me and I dont' complain because I like the attention. But I thought I'd share a little of what I've been up to lately. First we got something exciting!

SNOW!!!!!! I was especially excited because last time the snow came w/my Onkel Eric! But I've been looking for himfor days and still haven't been able to find him! Onkel Eric! Come inside and I will make you dirty martinis!

The sheps love to play in the snow.

And they spend all their time zooming.

And generally making spectacles of themselves.

And they miss out on the best part of snowtime!

Gorging on snowcones! But as you may have noticed I have 99 problems. And a hotspot is one.


While Hot Spot is my nickname for my hottest asset:

This hot spot is not hot in the good way. And it is right between my eyes! I look like I'm wearing a bindi.


I will probably need extra snacks to have the energy to heal my hotspot. I hope it does not ruin my goods looks (that is a not so subtle dig for compliments, plz.) More on an EXCITING SPCA Saturday sooN!

Taking Care of My Ticker

So I told you that Saturday I had to go to the vet. It was a surprise visit because I was feeling poorly. I did not sleep Friday night and I was clearly uncomfortable Saturday even though I am stoic and don't complain very much. My ape knew what it probably was. I have had cardiomyopathy for awhile now. That means my heart valves and heart muscles are not perfect (even though the rest of me is) and my heart has been working harder and getting progressively larger over time. Eventually it leads to congestive heart failure which is where I am now. You can read about the problem here. There were some telltale signs.

One was that I was uncomfortable at night which we now know is from having the fluid in my chest pool on one side making breathing more difficult. As you can see I was not my usual peppy self. I was coughing and wheezing a bit and couldn't get comfortable.

Also if you look at my eyes they look droopy but that is really just noticeable because my mucous membranes are so pale because my ticker is having a hard time pumping my blood.

And then you can see that I am looking a little skinny in the rear. That's because they starve me. And I have lost 4 pounds since my last vet visit. But when I lie down I get a tummy pooch because I have fluid in my belly.

So I had to go to the vet to help my discomfort. The vet took some picture of my insides (that are not as pretty as my outsides.) Here are my gorgeous outsides:

Here's an approximation of my not so pretty insides:


There is almost no dark space in my chest because it is all taken up by my GIANT heart and built-up fluid. I am already taking a drug called Pimobendan that helps my heart beat more efficiently. And I have to take a diuretic that will help me pee out that extra fluid (and boy have I been peeing my little heart out! Er, big heart.). And I am taking an ACE inhibitor called enalapril. And the best part is that all the pills come in SNACKS! Now I just need to stay calm, get moderate exercise, and get plenty of rest. And peeing. As Patience pointed out, when the snow comes I will be able to write my name! And I am getting extra snacks and when I want a bed the peppy sheppys have to MOVE IT and I get to sleep in the people bed with my ma ape. Unfortunately my heart will not get better but I hope the new meds will make me more comfortable and I plan to MILK IT for all it is worth!


So I'm just going to live it up! And I am accepting all incoming smooches!

My Regularly Scheduled Health Crisis

That is how I am feeling.

I have a tendency to get sick around the holidays. One year I had spondy-losis and my back hurt and then I ate my whole sample pack of Rimadyl and spent almost 24 hours at the vet! Another year the vet detected an arrythmia at my checkup. Last year I had my first syncope (fainting spell). Right on schedule this year it was time for a vet checkup! I have been restless at night for several weeks and this morning I was feeling poorly. Off to see Dr. Teddy! I had some pictures taken of my heart and the diagnosis was: TOO ROMANTIC! Yes, my heart is so full of love it is taking up 2/3 of my chest cavity and it is causing fluid in my lungs.

So now I'm relaxing at home with some new pills. If I'm a little quiet it is just that I am supposed to get some rest. And also I'm supposed to eat one lamb leg every day. I'm pretty sure the vet said that.

Weathering the Weather

This is what our weather looks like so I am quite busy pacing, panting and shaking like a Polaroid picture.

Also my ma ape has pictures of me being ADORABLE trapped in the camera but some of you have inquired about my health and I will post in spite of my lack of new pics. So I will tell you that yesterday my vet called and said that my tests came back and I look as good on the INSIDE as I do on the OUTSIDE and you all know how impressive my outside is!

A reminder:

It appears that my ma ape is even more high strung than the two sheppys combined. He prescribed more quarts of ice cream to be applied directly to my innards via my mouth.

Wally at the V-E-T!

I had to go to the V-E-T yesterday so he could draw my blood (supposedly for tests to make sure my Pemobendan is not hurting my kidneys but I know it is for cloning purposes!!!!) and to collect my wee which I thought was a little weird but whatever floats their boat. They also had to check my blood pressure which has returned to normal in spite of me having to live with the peppy sheppys.

You can see how excited I am about being at the V-E-T even though they shower me with attention and Ms. Sheree came out just to give me a hug and a kiss.

And while this was just a check-up I did receive really horrible, terrible, awful news:

My weight is dropping precipitously. Like .1 pounds in the last two weeks! My goodness. I believe that I suffer from a condition called "My Ma Ape is starving me TO DEATH." The vet ORDERED her to get three T-Bone steaks and apply them directly to my food bowl. She has not yet complied with the doctor's orders.


I hope I do not faint again from the hunger. Oh, the hunger!

We did get marrow bones when I got home. But mine was the smallest. I'm still hungry.

Send help immediately.

Looking Good, Feeling Good!

Some of you expressed concern because I haven't been posting but I would like to reassure you that I am looking good and feeling good. Here is some photographic evidence in a piece of art I like to call Corgador at Dawn.



My absence is not my fault. My ape is busy grading FINALS and being generally cranky. She had time to catch up on the laundry this weekend and to show my disdain for her time management skills I decided to make the clean unfolded laundry into a GIANT nest so I knocked over the laundry baskets and got to work.

Ahhhhhhh.

The Corgadorian Grey

As many of you know, some of my friends call me the Corgadorian Grey. That's a play on The Picture of Dorian Grey, the Oscar Wilde book about the guy who retains his youthful good looks by selling his soul and having a portrait that shows his real age. Here are my youthful good looks.



Not showing any age, eh? So what is aging on my behalf? Well, let me put it this way. Here is my ma ape when I adopted her:


And here she is today:

I think this deal is working out very well:

Thanks for scanning the funny pho-tos, GranNE!

Medical Miracles

Someone call the pope because I'm ready for my sainthood. The vet has diagnosed me with a medical condition called BEING A MIRACLE. But I get ahead of myself. I'd like to tell you about my visit to the VET.

So, first my vet's scale is BROKEN.


That is, um, my sissy's weight and not mine. I swear. I'm not in the picture so you can't prove anything.


Second, they made us wait in a room and look at the posters on the wall:

And:


A little heavy-handed DON'T YOU THINK??? So my sissy gets totes nervous at the vet and she likes to sit on my ma ape:


And this is her nervous face with her funny ears:


She also snuggles with me for safety but we are defenseless before the NEEDLE OF DOOM.


But I was totally polite and the vet said I am always the SWEETEST DOG. And I was polite and left him this pile of fur to remember me by:


So in addition to spending my ma ape's tax refund we got some great news. My heart sounds WONDERFUL. And the vet said that he's never seen a dog with a heart that was as bad off as mine live for more than a year. And I'm TWO YEARS past the time when I was diagnosed with a BIG HEART. Now I just have a murmur. Can you guess what my heart is murmuring?

This is the face of a miracle:

If you would like to know the secret to my self-healed heart it is:

1) the greaterest friends on earth
2) loads of beef heart
3) regular roaching
4) the love of (a) good dog(s) (you know who you are)

Dr. Wally T. Corgador, MD

As many of you may know, I recently had a visit to the vet. What you may not know is that I myself am a medical genius--Dr. Wally T. Corgador, MD/DVM. Isn't this a face you would trust with your life (if not your bully sticks)?


My fellow veterinary doctor, Dr. Teti, called to tell me that the lump that was removed was biopsied (and possibly harvested for cloning purposes--Stan!) and that the tissue was BENIGN COLLAGEN. My secret has been found out.


Yes, I've been doing a little lip plumping to make my mouth a bit more kissable (like GooberStans!) What do you think of the results? (Next time I will make sure I am sober while injecting so I don't get little collagen puffs on my chest).

But last night I decided to expand my practice. I removed my own stitches!


My ma ape checked my stitchies before bedtime and--stitches OUT! She was shocked because I haven't been scratching or licking but she doesn't even know about my mad surgical skills! See my sissy check it out.


And she's a little shocked that I am such a talented surgeon!


My next patient? The moose. He has a nasty case of hemmorhoids, as you can see.

P.S. Don't worry. I've got a healthy scab over the area formerly stitched and I'm fine. Trust me, I'm a doctor!

Looking Out for Our Hearts

I know we are all gathering for a BIIIIG Stupor Bowl party this weekend but my granny--ever the alert NPR listener--sent me this story to warn me: Sports Fan Stress Can be Heart Hazard. I KNOW! I get so nervous whenever the Cornhuskers play and recently they've given me plenty to stress about. Fortunately I don't really give a cat's behind who wins this year's Bowl (first time in three years one of my teams is not playing!) and so I can dedicate my time to preparing heart healthy foods for us. My list includes: fishables, red wineables, blueberries, oatmeals, and some more fishables. Mostly fishables. In the above photo I am eating HEART HEALTHY, pancreas friendly baby carrots.

And here my sissy and I are getting plenty of exercise (photo from the 3 hours we had snow 2 weeks ago):


Also, love keeps the heart in good shape and my gal Samantha--looking out for me--did a photo shoot to keep my heart a-flutter:

BFFs!

On Monday I am having a Benign Fatty Tumor (BFT, not nearly as tasty as a BLT!) removed. This is my third one I've had to have popped off. This time they're going to do it with only local anesthesia because I have a ticker arrhythmia (I don't know what they're talking about--I have great rhythm!) AND because I'm real good at the vet and let them do whatever they want to me. Except look at my teeth. Then I get all shy. Though my sissy is threatening to give me sleeping gas if I don't stop singing "My lump My lump My lump, My lovely Wally lumps!" to the tune of the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps." So, anyway, I've noticed that a number of my friends have ALSO recently had or are going to have their BFTs removed so I think we should have a club of Benign Fatty Friends! The BFFS!

Among the members are:

Scotsman Poet (and face/tongue double for my sissy!) MARVIN!

Brat Packer Bear, showing off his lumpless toes:


The Shermanator from Jackman Ave, my Partner in Chicken Backs:

And ME! WallyLump:

A devastatingly handsome collection of dogs, eh? Now we have the perfect number of members for a Barbershop quartet but I'm sure some more of you have probably tangled with BFTs and I'd be happy to add you. You may NOT, however, grow a BFT just fort he purposes of joining our club. That will just stress out your apes AND you might have to be a CONEHEAD.

Stay tuned for updates and photos of My lump My lump My lump, My lovely WALLY lumps!

Just Allergies

My ear problem is NO BIG DEAL (except to the pocketbook the ma ape says. But what is she going to spend money on--herself? Ha!). I have a few yeastie beasties. And it's probably allergies. So here are some things I am allergic to:

1) stinky sisters!
2) summertime television of reruns and filler reality shows
3) goddamn cats!
4) invading another country without an exit strategy
5) the hunger
6) the heat