it's my birthday TODAY. this weekend i started my birthday extravaganza with a celebratory cinnabonbon and a new couch. today i got a new squeaky manatee and a rubber pig with a bell inside that i have to get snacks out of. i'm so glad my mawma has unresolved emotional issues that lead her to spoil the hell out of me. naked ape anomie works to my advantage!
if you are suffering alienation and would like to use me as your emotional connection, please send cards, snacks, and presents. i will love you unconditionally, as long as you keep the prezzies coming.
happy birthday TO ME! happy birthday to ME! i don't look like a monkey and i'm turning two!