neW seCRetaRY NEEded

I need some serious help. My ma ape is generally pretty worthless but she's rendered herself more useless than usual.

She mooshed her fingers.


Her MIDDLE finger! She has lost a major communication device.

Typing I mean. Hehe. I will be accepting applications. In the meantime she is doing the ole hunt and peck. It is a slow and annoying process.

Big Love

Look! It's my ma ape. Oh I'm only kidding. It's Jessica the Hippo. But she has much in common with my ma ape.



Both of them drink 20 liters of coffee per day.


Both of them love puppies.

And if she could choose anyone to narrate her life, it would be John Waters.

Important Message From Ethel Jean

This is Ethel Jean, Fetching Queen. AND I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY while the BOYS are not HOGGING THE BLOGGING! Here are IMPORTANT THINGS:


1. I am PAWESOME. Duh.

2. My DUMB BRUDDER pees like a girl.

He wants so much to be like his sissy.

But he has Epic Dignity Fail.

3. My friend TUCHUCK needs OUR HELP! See, he has a DUDE VISTING HIS HOUSE! A Border Collie like him! This dude, named THEO, is trying to SINGLE WHITE BORDER COLLIE my Tuchuck! See!

So here's what we can do. You can help Me help Tuchuck help Theo find a NEW FOREVER HOME! Read about Theo here and pass on the word! If you know anyone in the mid-Atlantic (or within driving distance) that wants a dog for flyball or agility or just plain fun tell them to call the Delaware SPCA (302.998.2281)!! We'll even help transport him!

Theo, Border Collie mix for adoption from 4dogart on Vimeo.

ETHEL OUTTIE!

Don't Badger Me

So this story came through my e-mail today:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said Wednesday. A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road -- only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhoea. Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

I have asked my media team to release the following statement:

A spokesperson for Wally T. Corgador categorically denies the veracity of stories that the badger was seen earlier in the evening at a Berlin karaoke bar with a corgador wearing a "Don't Hassle the Hof" t-shirt while both ate fermented cherry pie and sang power ballads. Also the "W" is for Wally, not Wisconsin or Dubya.

A Tardy SPCA Saturday

We're like totes late with the SPCA Saturday so I'm hosting this so we cut to the chase. And also this week there were many lab mixes and I'm a lab mix so who better to expound on the greatness of lab mixes!

This is Sheba, actually a Husky mix. While not a lab mix, she is like my woo-tiful friend Khyra. And thus, awesome. My ma ape says she has gorge eyes. Wevs, ma ape.

Another not-lab mix (or maybe just a little), this boy is Mustafa.

Now labbies! OK, this is Sam who is a lab mix puppy who looks a wee bit like Ethel Jean.

And Molly, a REALLY shy lab mix who looks a little like Oscar and Ethel had a behbeh. And she turned out doofus, like them!

And BUBBLES, a choco lab.

She might be all lab because she retrieves, unlike me who will chase your stupid ball once or twice half-heartedly before retiring to chew on the spit-soaked wad of fuzz by myself, thankyouverymuch.

And--wheeee! This last dog is obvs not a lab mix. He's a young pitty/hound mix but he's totes awesome (even though I can't remember his name).

He gave my ma ape a fat lip! (You can see her itty bit wound over there on the left.) That's karma! For loving on lab mixes that ARE NOT ME!

She also fell for a lab/dane/mastiff/something huge mix name Hercules who is undergoing heartworm treatment. Lady, love a local lab! Or give to Moose's Rescue or something.

About that Monkey Stick

Do you remember how I got a monkey stick last weekend?

Impressively he is still in one piece and honking.

There are two possible explanations for the arrival.

1.) I had a tummy ache Thursday night and kept my ma ape up. I milked it, she felt bad I had a tummy ache and gave me pepto and a monkey stick (a very effective home remedy)
2.) This.

Choose your own adventure. And what do you think I should name him?

Scenes from the Fourth of July

Holes were dug.

Games were played.
Vegetables were grilled.

And eaten.
Balls were chased.

And caught.

Corgadors were adorables.

Tongues were stuck out.

Ice cream was made.

And frozen.
And munched upon.
And a new monkey stick!