off leash and outta control!

My sister and I went to the empty field and both got off-leash. She spent all her time chasing the stupid ball (see below).

I thought about playing chase but she has a decided advantage in the leg department.


So I played my game I call "Dora the Explorer" (or Dora Splora for short). It involves exploring, mostly with my nose. Here I look into the deep dark woods.


So I got snacks because I'm SO GOOD.


I also tried to show my sister a thing or two about playing ball but I lose interest quickly. I'm already bored.


Then we went to the big SNOW MOUNTAIN in the field--all the snow they got off the road they put in one BIG pile--Everest size. So I, being the brave adventurer that I am, tried to reach the summit.

And I nearly made it, too. Until I heard there were bullies at home so I turned around and hightailed it home. Good times.

born free!

This morning my sister and i went to a field near our house and we got to be OFF LEASH. My sister likes to play chase with her friends Tennis Ball and Chuck It. I'm going to post lots of pictures of my sis Ethel so she doesn't get any ideas from Joe Stains's blog where he's giving his doofus brother "Tanner Tuesdays." There will be no Ethel Everyday. She knows too much. So here's some pictures of her at her best:


Aaaaand, she's off!

Jumpin'.

Stop looking at my sis's bum, you perverts!


She can concentrate on the ball like no one's business. She usually has ADHD and can't focus long enough to finish her breakfast but she's nuts for the ball.

She believes she can fly...

She looks like her greyhound half here!



And then she stops for a little sip of water from the frozen water in the field. Mmmm...sanitary!

thanks to my pals!

i wanted to bark a big thank you to all my pals who sent me burpday greetings yesterday! it's nice to be so loved. here i am basking in my burpday happiness glow. i had a great day including lots of blogging, getting loads of comments, and even a cake (which i ate too fast to get a picture of. mawma said we couldn't have candles because 'the towering inferno wasn't very good the first time'--i don't get it). here are some more highlights of my day (other than cake and bully eating).



here i am in my birthday suit (no collar!)


here's my pretty NEW collar.


here i am wearing my new collar. it has reflective stuff so when we take pictures it reflects the light. i think it also gives me superpowers but i'm still working on that. look at mr. hedgie looking on enviously. he might also be scared because i have decimated his entire back half and thus have replaced him with mr. pastel hedgie.


here i am rasslin' with my new squeaky seal.


i bite him on the butt to show him who's boss! his butt squeaks! ha! i sometimes try to see if ethel has a squeaky in her butt she doesn't let me get close enough to bite.


at the end of the day i'm tired from rasslin' and counting up all my new prezzies so i curl up for a nice nap with my new hedgie, froggie and mr. seal. oh, and a nice bully in my belly.

chimps may be planning insurrection

i came across this story, "hunting chimps may change view of human evolution,"disguised as a story about science but, in fact, is about the coming of our chimp liberators. according to the story they have found a reclusive group of chimps in which the female chimps are hunters and have fashioned tools to do so.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Chimpanzees have been seen using spears to hunt bush babies, U.S. researchers said on Thursday in a study that demonstrates a whole new level of tool use and planning by our closest living relatives.

Perhaps even more intriguing, it was only the females who fashioned and used the wooden spears, Jill Pruetz and Paco Bertolani of Iowa State University reported.

Bertolani saw an adolescent female chimp use a spear to stab a bush baby as it slept in a tree hollow, pull it out and eat it.

i am quite intrigued by the possibility of a chimp insurrection, led by weapon-wielding female apes. they have clearly target the naked ape leadership, starting by killing the bush babies. i, for one, will welcome our chimp overlords and their matriarchal leadership that may require an increase in poop throwing but also an increase in banana consumption which i cannot protest.

update: my mawma has informed me that the bush babies in question are not actually THE bushes and barbara and jenna are actually completely fine and have not been consumed by chimps. still, bush babies ARE primates and if the chimps are targeting their fellow primates then the naked apes can't be far behind. and maybe they're just working their way up to the OTHER bushes. i have purchased a bunch of bananas just in case. i can't promise i won't have eaten them by the time the chimps arrive, though.

burpday fun!

look! i'm so old i'm getting a white beard. or maybe i just pulled more stuffing out of my hedgie because he was jealous of new pastel hedge and so i'm saving his innards to make a nest. it's my burpday and i'll do what i want!

a boo-dog buffet

i usually troll petfinder for my fellow corgadors who are looking for homes but today i was missing my boo, studly dudley so i was looking to see if maybe he was naughty and his mum put him up for adoption. (answer: no. she's selfish and just because she loves him n' stuff she won't let me have him! sigh i will have to pine from afar). i did find some needy boo-dogs, though:


humphrey

preston


vallie

babette


my stud, the b.c. babe.

be sure to have some snacks and fart a little for me today, dudley!

i NEED it

i've been TELLING my naked apes that i need a little personal assistant to take care of my appointments, fetch me bullies, help clean my eye boogers, etc. and here's the perfect one. seamus is at an spca right near me! and my mean mawma says i can't have him just because i would probably try to bite him because i'm a grumpy old man. harumph. seamus would understand. look at his name--he's irish--so we could commiserate about the goddamn british over a guinness and mayo chips (which he would fetch and i would eat). when the mail carrier comes today i will bark madly at her like usual and then i will ask her if there's a box in her truck with my name on it containing seamus! and mayo chips. i really need the mayo chips.

more burpday boys!

it's my pal boo's burpday, too! (no, that's not boo above, you can see boo on HIS blog, though sadly not with his face in a cake!) the crazy thing is-boo's birthday is tomorrow. but today is tomorrow where he is! whoa.

i wrote him limerick (must be read with boston accent to make it rhyme):

there once was a boy named boo
today is HIS burpday too
he's a secret casanova
who bowls the dogs' hearts ovah
but if he loves you you'll never be blue.

par-ty, par-ty, par-ty, par-ty!

let the burpday begin!

wake up! rise and shine! it's my BURPDAY!!!!!


here i am, ready for the burpday extravaganza. i look cranky but that's because my breakfast of lox and raspberry cake is SO SLOW! pick up the pace, mawma! no, you don't need a cup of coffee first--i need my salmon!


yesterday i got a package. look what's inside! loads of peanuts! though, sadly, not the peanuts you can eat.


WHAT??!?! arf-ritis and ticker meds are no burpday present.


oooooh...here's some stuff underneath!


mmmmm...snacks. salmon pate. for the refined palate.


and i got two NEW stuffies to go along with my new hedgie from mr. joe stains!


i have to show this frog who's boss. also note my new stuffed seal. that's from my mawma who LOVES seals. she says sometimes i look like a blubbery seal but that's just because i'm real graceful in the water.



aaaaand....body slam! down goes the frog.


here we are eating bullies on monday. i'm pretending to have a cigar and ethel is pretending to care. we will have bullies again today! hoo-ray for burp-days!

you perverts!

headline: zoos cash in on animal sex.

oh, and as if it THAT'S not weird, it's about animal tours in honor of valentine's day to spark a little romance:

TAMPA, Florida (AP) -- Tampa's Lowry Park Zoo calls it the "Wild at Heart" tour.

At New York's Central Park Zoo, it's "Jungle Love."

San Francisco offers "Woo at the Zoo," and in Boise, Idaho, it's possible to enjoy "Wild Love at the Zoo."

When Valentine's Day rolls around, zoos around the country have become an unlikely locale for adult-oriented entertainment with risque tours that combine champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries and candlelight dining with impressive facts about how animals mate.

the velvet throated crooner

i love to sing and i sing (the naked apes call it 'howling'--have they heard themselves?) whenever i hear sirens. sometimes my apes watch cop shows on tv just so i'll howl along with the sirens. now, it may sound as if it is tuneless warbling to the untrained ear but, in fact, i am on the verge of stardom for my fine tunes.

here's one of my songs, please sing to the tune of 'waterloo' by abba:


mawma! i'm wally who napolean did em-u-late!
oh yeah! i have short legs and my empire it will be so great!
the bully is up on the shelf
the bullies they won't eat themselllllves!


chorus:
wallyloo! i love to eat and you get me snacks!
wallyloo! promise to love you forever more!
wallyloo! i can eat what i want to!
wallyloo! knowing my food will become poo!
wallyloo! finally you've got your wallyloo

if you're good maybe i'll show you my dance movies, too. we're working on figure out how to post video so you can hear my bootiful song.

dog saves naked apes from themselves.

again. this from mt. hood in oregon. velvet the labrador (part corgador!) saved her lost owners by keeping them warm.

Dog saves lives

Velvet, owned by Bryant, had minor cuts and abrasions on her back paws and legs from prolonged exposure to the snow, but she was cleared to go home.

"The dog probably saved their lives" by lying across them during the cold night, said Erik Brom, a member of the Portland Mountain Rescue team.

velvet is pictured above. she reminds me of my sister morgan (rip!) who helped rescue me! and she also looks like marvin the scotsman poet who, no doubt, would not only keep his mum warm but compose fine works of literature to keep her mind occupied!

awesome dogs!

the title of this post is redundant but the picture--awesome. this is a news story about a dog in china who pees upside down. why is it a news story? why is anna nicole smith?

more burpday eggstravaganza!

yes, my burpday week has officially kicked off! i need a whole week because i was adopted just four years ago and i have a lot of past burpdays to make up for. plus, as a dog, each year counts more for me than for the naked apes! so the eggstravaganza has to include eggs:


here is my omelet. eggs, shrooms, and pepperoni cheese!


then turkey bacon SO HOT it's steamy!


when the steam cleared it was a tasty, tasty snack. i had to share (with ethel and mr. jbut not crazy no-meat mawma) but it was a great start to a great week!

JOOOOOOOOEY!

my good pal joe stains has officially kicked off my burpday eggstravaganza! i got a package in the mail with a return address--joe stains!


it was addressed to wally! but my sister ethel helped me open it.


inside was a card with two of my favorite things--dogs that look like joe stains and doofus and wallymelon! (mmm...wallymelon. joey might taste good, too, but i won't bite him to confirm my suspicions).


then i dug in--what did he send me!


he sent us two beef bones (quickly dispatched!) and a NEW HEDGIE in pastel colors (he knows i'm a sofite at heart).

let the playtime commence. thanks a bunch joey stains! you're the best boston friend a boy could have.