Saturday, June 16, 2007

Happy Father's Day!

a comic strip!

Here's wishing all the pas out there a happy happy father's day. And a particular shout-out to my gramps this father's day. I may have bitten him on his last visit. But could you stay mad at this face? What if it came with ci-gars and Yuengling?

And, also, this father's day if you are a pup out there who thinks I may have fathered you during my pre-neutered days: I've never seen your ma, I wasn't there, and I don't know what you're talking about.

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Strange Sights

My friend Buko sent me this picture. His sister Narra, a GSD, is a bit of a bitch. So is my sister.

What? The AKC said it first.

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Friday, June 15, 2007

In the News

Two Very Important News Stories caught my attention this morning. The turmoil in the Palestinian Authority? No. The anticipated imprisonment of Scooter Libby? No.

Why would we care about that when there are stories about naughty dogs and rampaging squirrels! Priorities!

Randy Thai sniffer dogs fired:

Two Thai street mutts who became ace sniffer dogs at an airport near the notorious "Golden Triangle" opium-producing region have been fired for urinating on luggage and sexually harassing female passengers.

I'll have to tell my ma ape she needs to change her work behavior. (I kid! I hope...)

German Squirrel on Rampage Injures 3

An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

No wonder my sissy spends all day at the window watching the squirrels in the tree; she is anticipating hordes of invading German squirrels! Normandy in reverse. With squirrels.

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I Forgive Joe!

a comic strip!

OK, I decided that I can't be mad at Joe Stains anymore even though he made fun of where I live because he posted a video where he pees on his brother and it made me laugh so much I forgot why I was mad. Also I have a short attention span. Except with anything involving food. I am impatient, but I keep my eye on the prize. What was I saying? Oh right, Joe and The Pits-burgh.

And also the Dogs of Jackman Ave live in Spittsburgh and Sherman and I are practically the same dog so of course he's awesome!

My girl Sophie asked for a cartoon picture of me and here you go! I will have to do another one with me in the beer helmet, too. I need a beer helmet! I'll share it with you Joe! But we probably shouldn't watch a Yankees game cuz then we might fight again.

And I was going to make a joke that we can all be friends--we can all make fun of New Jersey! But then Ruby's mum is from there. And Nanook and Pooka live there. I'll just have to pick on my sissy. Safe target (don't hurt me Max n' Pippa!).

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Joe got SERVED

Earlier today I posted about how stinky my Phillies are at baseball. And in my comments I read THIS from my so-called pal Joe Stains:

My mom is from Pennsyltucky, but the good side where piksburgh is. Mom says they should just sell Filthadelphia to New Jersey.

OhMyDog he's so mean! So I had to make a cartoon to show how hulked-out mad I am:

What does it mean? Well, first I show how MAD I am and how GROSS it is in PITTSburgh--so gross it has PIT in it! And then there's their football team the STEALERS who STOLE the 2006 Superbowl from my Seasquawks with a little help from the zebras. And their baseball team are PIRATES. Do you see a trend--STEALING! And Filthy..I mean PHILAdelphia is the home of the CONSITUTION and the EAGLES. And we have, um, Bon Jovi and 73 Rocky movies. Who's the Doofus now JOE!

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Unloveable Losers

Why so glum? Let's discuss. I'm not a huge baseball fan. I prefer football (of the American and non-American sort) but my sissy loves baseball (involves flying balls and running in quick bursts. and stealing things). She recently put on her orange collar for the O's (she's a Marylander). I myself am a journeyman baseball fan which means I don't have just one team. My favoritests are the Cubs because 1) I look like a Cub 2) My Onkel Eric is a Chicagoan and 3) I am also put-upon and yet still loveable. I also like the Seattle Moaners because I used to live there!

Since moving East, though, I've started rooting for the Phillies because they're closeby which means they're always on the teevee. The NYT most e-mailed stories includes a story about my Team. They're about to set an AMAZING record for the most games (10,000) ever lost by a team in any sport! This is par for the course for Philadelphia which has the longest championship drought of any team with four major sports teams. And Philadelphia sports fans who are the sourest in the world, best known for booing Santa. In other words, they are not the loveable losers that the Cubs are. Nope, just losers.

Is it football season yet?

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

More Pictures!

Here are some more pictures of our one-day vacation but these are taken with the fancy-ancy camera.

Here's my sissy looking pretty. I think she's thinking of her boyfriends. Or about tennis balls. Or about nothing. Sometimes she's like that.

She has watched a lot of shampoo commercials and likes to toss her hair.

Here I am checking out the Wawa coffee. It sure makes my ma ape less cranky. Will it work for me?

Look how alert I am!

No I didn't actually drink the coffee. It smells gross! And you apes think that WE eat gross stuff. But look at me sitting on TOP of the pic-i-nic table. I like feeling TALL. Don't my legs look LOOOOOONG? I'm practically an SUMD.

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A Day Out

Yesterday we decided to take a day off and go hang out at the state park. I was really excited because we always see snakes and peoples and fishes and turtles and FROGS and TOADS. And my granny had just sent me this story : The Dog Who Loved to Suck on Toads. He licked them for hallucinogenic effect which sounds very exciting.

We got to pack a backpack (to put on the ma ape/pack animal) of things we would want in nature. My stupid sissy brought tennis balls (of course) and her Chuckit. And her floppy tongue. I packed Evo biscuits and bully sticks and I tried to fit some chicken backs in there but the ma ape said they'd get rotten and stinky. Perfect for rolling! But she said no.

Here we are getting ready for our adventure:

Here I am striking out into the forest primeval. I think we were in the Amazon, that place that sends us books and veggie killers and cookware and shoes.

We got to do my sissy's favorite thing in the heat--swimming! Here she is in the lake. She could fetch ALL DAY in the water.

I prefer to play "wading." I CAN swim. I just prefer to cool my belly and relax.

My sissy gets all disheveled after the swimming!

And it's time to shake shake shake!

Shakin' it like a polaroid picture.

And after we walked a million miles I finally got to dig in to my bully stick.

I had deep thoughts as I chewed.

When I'm very tired my ma ape says I get my spacey look. But is she sure I didn't get any of those toads?

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Get Well Guys!

Some of my best pals are going under the knife. Jackson just had surgery to have STONES removed from his bladder and Suki is having some girl bits removed. (I understand there are eggs involved. I was told not the kind of eggs that make me drool so don't be gross). Get well soon guys! (But don't let your peeps know how much better you are--milk it for all you can get!)

And the picture? I couldn't find a suitable get well card so I thought--what would make you feel better than a lovely picture of me looking like I've done three bongs of medicinal marijuana?

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Monday, June 11, 2007

Baby Pictures!

Everyone else is posting their baby pictures and I felt kind of left out. I didn't get adopted until I was ripe--probably 6-8 years old. A lady never tells her real age. So I have no actual baby pictures.

I thought I would try to recreate my childhood with some speculation of what I must have looked like as a wee one.

Perhaps my fur did not darken until I was older when I became a sleek, sea-faring cutie:

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Or perhaps I was a fearsome beast like this (with a little boost from my mum):

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Here's what my sissy looked like, I'm sure. Maybe a little less spotty:

Here's one of my ma's baby pictures. She's gone downhill since then.

We were watching Star Wars this weekend (free HBO!) and speculated that when I'm old (which I certainly am NOT right now) this is what I will look like:

Yoda Biography

Amused not, I am.

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The Times That Try a Dog's Soul

I just heard some horrible, horrible news that has devastated all my hopes and dreams for summertime TV watching.

Posh Spice has pulled out of reality show. Look how sad I am.

I'm so sad it has turned my world temporarily black and white. Even my polka dot collar is now mealy greys.

Even my sissy hangs her head in sadness. Now we will have to stick to reading the new Don DeLillo novel and watching re-runs of Barking Mad.

But what is this I hear....what has returned color to my world?

The rumors are false! The show will go on! And the Spice girls are reuniting to cut a tune together (sort of). Whew! I can avoid culture after all!

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Sunday, June 10, 2007

No Fear of Flying

In my last post I mentioned how that annoying buzzard got away from me just because IT can fly and I am ground-bound. So I've decided we have one option--to teach my sissy to fly.

I'm coaching her from offscreen here:

And she's off!

Ok, we've got about four inches clearance here. Any tips on defying gravity?

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Back to Venison Field!

We haven't been back to the field where we caught Bambi, at least not off leash. We went today and walked the perimeter to look at in the brushes where the deers hide. We had to stay on leash--isn't that animal cruelty!

We didn't find any deers so we got to go OFFLEASH. My sissy wanted to play fetch, of course, since it wasn't superhot. Oh and also because it was a day. And she'll play fetch anyday.

And we took many pictures of her with her tongue flapping around all undignified-like.

Still floppy.

I was hanging out under the bleachers when I spotted something.

Buzzard! (The sky looks all creepy. Maybe the camera was on Vincent Price setting.) I CHASED it. Would have caught it, too, were it not for the fact that it was in the sky. And has wings.

So I got back in the cool grass.

And mugged for the camera.

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