Saturday, January 31, 2009

SPCA Saturday (Icey Frothy Edition!)

Oh yes, it is Roscoe P. Neo, Esq. reporting in for SPCA Saturday! Look! It is cold and hard to play in the outside so I just devoted my time to eat all of the snow and the ice. It is so nice of me to clean up, isn't it? I was in a good mood because my friend Angel (remember her? Someone threw her from a car) got a home as did Zuloo with the busted ACL and Bargan the big headed pit.

And look who is back! It is Big Red, Jr! He has been out of commission with a hurt pawpaw but now he is back and BETTER than EVER! And now we are in a competition to see who can make the lady with the camera love us more! (A: Me, duh! His cute big head is no match for my stinky wrinkles!)

Now meet our new friend! Zoey!

Oh!! And here is Mr. Donald. He spent the whole time outside sittin' with the camera lady and whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Like "you could feed me SNACKS."

Aaaaand, it's Scrappy Doo!

Meet Ms. Rosie! I call her Bessie because she has spots like a cow.

Here's Snowball, a lab/pitty mix.

A Louie Louie! Oh baby, he's a pit bull! And doesn't he looks so mean!

And here he is going in for the kill!


I've been quite busy teaching the youngins how to FLOOGER FLING.

But where are your floogers, dudes?

I always have a reserve of floog. Here I am with a floogersicle.

And here's Big Red doing a slow motion flingin'.

And here I am putting all that snow n' ice to good use making some frothy suds.

See you all next week! Unless someone falls in love with my stinky wrinkles.

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Friday, January 30, 2009

I am not a Bro

I understand that my sissy has been spreading scurrilous rumors about potentially impeachable offenses committed in commission with my brudder. I swear I have never snuggled, played, pillowed, or napped with that dog, Mr. Oscar. And I most definitely do no let him clean my face and ears. Most definitely. And those photos were photoshopped.

As evidence of our man non-love, here I am biting my brudder on the butt and you can trust this because it was most def not 'shopped.

To defend against these charges I have retained council, one former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich who informed me that he will have plenty of time to help me out because he was so good at his last job that they have him given a lot of time off. He will soon be going on a press junket on my behalf to compare my trials, tribulations and bravery with Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and other luminaries with whom I compare favorably.

I think Blago and I will get along so well because we both have luscious heads of hair and a good, proportional sense of self-regard.

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The new dude has been hoggin' my bloggin'! BUT IT IS ETHEL'S TURN! I am now going to tell you tales of GOSSIP AND SCANDAL!

You all know my NEW BRUDDER Oscar. This is how I like him best. Pinned to the GROUND. With my MOUTH around his NECK.

And here I am CHILLAXIN'! with WALLY!

And here's Wally LAFFIN' at my JOKES! (OK, he's laughing at his own joke):

But lately I think they've been watching too much MTV (WHICH MEANS LIKE ANY AT ALL!) and now they're totally having a BROMANCE!

And they like hang out together on the couch.

And Wally LAFFS at his JOKES. OK, he's really laffin at his OWN JOKES again.

And Oscar like TOTALLY copies Wally.


I think we would look better as the THREE MUTT-MA-TEERS!

And if you don't totally stop your bromance I'm making my OWN CLUB--NO BOYS ALLOWED!

The End. By ETHEL!

(PS. HI RANDI!!!!)

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Ice Ice Baby

Our tasty tasty snow has turned into ice. And not even tasty ice like Wudder Ice like we have in Philly. Nasty, dirty, crunchy, slippy, awful ice. I am NOT pleased. Even though I am close to the ground I still slip slide around.

And even on the ice, the peppy sheps cannot GIVE IT A REST!

See me in the background not caring about the mayhem and the foolishness?

This ice is good for nothin' and this morning it was really stressful trying to go for a walk on the ice and so I just wanted to stop so I PASSED OUT! Like I did in December. But this time I popped right back up. Well, as fast as you can pop up on a sheet of ice! And because I fainted we got to go home and eat breakfast. My ma ape says I should not teach this trick to my friends but it TOTALLY WORKS. Ahem, I mean, do not pretend you are a fainting goat, ok?

I could not convince the ice to turn into the snow no matter how much I swooned.

Or made faces at it.

I am officially ready for spring.

And, um, when you're in Philly don't order the Yellow Wudder Ice:

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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Shameless Hussy!

Further photographic evidence that my ma ape is not dogonamous. No, she'll smooch anything on four legs.

Here are the Pogues singing "Honky Tonk Women." It might be about my ma ape who gives me the honky tonk blues. I just can't seem to drink her off my mind.

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The Abominable Snow Wally

This would be a great wordless Wednesday. If only I could keep my mouth shut.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Time for Snow!

I would like to alert meteorologists to an interesting phenomenon. I am aware that am possessed with above-average cuteness. I won't put on any false modesty. But what is really remarkable is that somehow, in the snow, my irresistibility is multiplied by a magnitude of at least three times. And three times a lot is, well, a lot more.

In evidence--Snow Wally:

Now with 30% more tongue.

Sadly, not all dogs benefit from my beauty regimen. Some just get further dorkified:

Some get other dogs attached to their necks like leeches.

The snow is wasted on the young.

I am generally not a big fan of balls with one exception--SNOW BALLS!

Nothing tastes as good as freshly thrown snow.

Ooof! I need a pitcher, not a belly itcher!

Tomorrow rain will move in and the snow will go away. Fortunately, my cuteness will remain.

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