Voteration Day!

Hey! The gang is all here! It is a most exciting (and potentially most awful!) day! Time to vote! First we will tell you about the terrible awful thing our ma ape did.

She left behind this level of intense cuteness.

To go to Dee Cee to see these considerably LESS cute fellows.

She had the same idea as 200-some thousand other people!

Can you see the stage? Neither could she! But she did enjoy the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.

She did see some very interesting signs.

One of her most favorites.

Haha! Chicago Bears!

Some funnies.

And some most wordy but erudite signs:

But this one really spoke to us:

We would now like to give some predictions.

Otis predicts some people less qualified and intelligent than our tennis ball monkey will be elected.

Edgrr and Oscar are giving a visual representation of how they feel about some of the candidates.

And here Edgrr gives a visual representation of our nation during this election.

But at least we can say in Delawares:

Getting our Robes On!

Big news today! The Supreme Court's oldest and longest serving Justice, John Paul Stevens, is retiring. From this photo I believe he will be joining the Cubs' bullpen which can only make things better for them. But this means there is a job opening!

And we read the Constitution VERY carefully and learned that the President of the United States (POTUS) appoints Supreme Court Justices (to be approved by the World's Most Dysfunctional Family, the Senate)! And what do you know! We live with the POTUS!

Otis, the Pitbull Of The United States! POTUS! POTUS! POTUS! Where were we? Oh right, getting ourselves a job.

To find out more listened to this fellow and, as an aside, it was mighty nice of some radio station to give him a job after his lobotomy. Anyway, he seems to have great sympathy for the plight of white dudes who, really, have been given a bum deal what with the Fortune 500 companies and only 43 out of the last 44 presidents and 106/111 Supreme Court Justices. Listen (warning: IQ may drop for the next 3-4 hours while blood pressure may become dangerously high):

We decided that Ole Lonesome Rhodes here WAS making a point. It is time for the POTUS to make a BOLD decision and appoint a first to the court. Our suggestion???

That's right...the first brudder/sissy sheppy team! Let's make the Supreme Court of the United States a REAL SCOTUS, a Sheppy Court Of The United States! SCOTUS! SCOTUS! We already have natty black robes, are outspoken, and probably know more about Roe v. Wade than Clarence Thomas. Though as we were researching the institution we noticed a disturbing resemblance between this justice:

And the POTUS!

Dude! You cannot be POTUS and SCOTUS! That violates the separation of POWERS! More POWER TO THE SHEPPYS! We also read that many GOP Senators will be interested in the Right to Bear Arms which I should say we totally support.

I mean, who wouldn't want hugs from some Bears like these Chicago Bears?? They should totally get to keep their arms.

See you at our confirmation hearings! Ethel is totally preparing (see footnotes below).

1. All references to balls and biting are purely metaphorical.
2. This post is dedicated to the memory of Wally who taught us everything we know about pawliticks. But don't hold it against him, we're slow learners. But not as slow as that Beck fellow.

3. Thanks for your service, Justice Stevens!

4. Apologies to pit boos who do not actually look like Scalias and have much bigger hearts and brains.

I am not a Bro

I understand that my sissy has been spreading scurrilous rumors about potentially impeachable offenses committed in commission with my brudder. I swear I have never snuggled, played, pillowed, or napped with that dog, Mr. Oscar. And I most definitely do no let him clean my face and ears. Most definitely. And those photos were photoshopped.

As evidence of our man non-love, here I am biting my brudder on the butt and you can trust this because it was most def not 'shopped.


To defend against these charges I have retained council, one former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich who informed me that he will have plenty of time to help me out because he was so good at his last job that they have him given a lot of time off. He will soon be going on a press junket on my behalf to compare my trials, tribulations and bravery with Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and other luminaries with whom I compare favorably.

I think Blago and I will get along so well because we both have luscious heads of hair and a good, proportional sense of self-regard.

New Blog!

I let the cat out of the bag about my new blog! (That's a metaphorical cat--don't start chasing yet!). Yes, I've decided to have a blog dedicated just to paw-li-ticks! It is located here and all are welcome. If you are interested in doing a guest post explaining why YOU are Barking for Barack or if you have any good links or stories you think merit posting you can e-mail me at wallythecorgador at comcast dott net or leave me a comment.

See you at the voting booth!

OBAMAMANIA!

Obama clinches nomination. And now it is time to pick a VP. I think in this historic year it is about time for a cross-species ticket. Now THAT is change I believe in. I have a couple of suggestions.

Ernest, for fresh new ideas and flat basseting:

Wally T. Corgador, the face of experience. Also I think the Veep is a job I could excel it since it seems to primarily involve hiding out at a secret location and periodically shooting old men in the face. No, that joke will never get old.

Isn't this the face of a thoughtful world leader?

Get Better, Ted!

Ted Kennedy had brain surgery yesterday and here's how you know he's a good guy:

Kennedy's dogs, Sunny and Splash, met him at the hospital door. Hospital employees and others applauded the senator.

Although the media didn't seem to understand they were applauding the dogs but the point stands. He has the endorsement of dogs. One even wrote a book.


Should the Democrats not settle this whole nomination process today I say they just decide--"Eh, let's just go with a dog!" I hear Ernest is still available.

For Granny, a Fox Babe

So my granny is a big Fox News fan. She especially loves it when she's at the gym and on the elliptical and someone turns on the Faux News and turns it up REAL LOUD she can hear John Gibson's voice echoing in her ears as she works out, slowly killing her brain cells. So I wanted to post this for her from the Daily Show--a report on Fox News:





Haha. Granny's gonna be SO MAD at me. Haha.

Goofy Faces

While I was enjoying a little chicken back din-din this evening my ma ape observed that I may make some kind of funny faces while I eat.


Sissy gets a little wide-eyed and crazy when she eats, too.


Though her funniest faces are reserved for playtime.



My ma ape calls this my stroke face that I get when I'm done eating. Ahhhh...blissful satisfaction.


Both sissy and I get get a bit goofy when we fail to wrangle our tongues.


Yup, goofy.

What are your goofy faces like? Do they embarrass your friends and family?


Or is your goofiness only revealed later, in photographs?


At least some of us still retain our dignity.

Pawlitical Savvy!

Do you guys know who THIS handsome devil is? It's LENNY, the terrier who is terrin' up Indiana. He's one of my newest buds AND I couldn't EVEN believe it when I got a PACKAGE from Indiana! From Lenny! (If you hadn't figured that out).


Like me, Lenny is barkin' for Barack. And so Lenny sent me a prezzie!
The card said that her ma ape thought my ma ape might like some Barack Buttons.


But I think they look quite lovely on MONKEY STICK (I passed on having them pinned to my chest).


Here we are shouting "YES WE CAN (have more snacks)!!!"


Yup, Obama has captured the vital monkey stick and corgador demographics. Thanks Lenny!

And if you missed Barack's speech today--here he is! If you hear any honking and squeaking in the background, that's just Monkey Stick. He gets excited sometimes.

Politics as it should be--satirical!

Some of you may have seen the video that will.i.am the black eyed pea (the music group, I don't actually name food) made for Bark Obama.



I have mixed feelings about music videos on behalf of political candidates but I just had to share this one that would have made me pee my pants laughing. If I wore pants. And if that wouldn't be a waste of good pee mail.



Now, I've been quiet for a day or so and I've been babbling like my boring ma ape about politics so I promise I will soon have a GREAT post that is a TRIBUTE to my GRAMMIE who is the greatest GRAMMIE EVER. Details to come. (Also--party planning!)

The cows are cussin!

Look! I'm in my Cornhusker jersey! (And yes, that is an antler and stuffing formerly belonging to the Moose). And my fellow footie fans might be wondering WHY I'm in my football gear when Nebraska football doesn't start for almost seven months!


The answer is because they are cow-cussin' in Nebraska today! And also in my former home Washington state! My granny is helping to run the cow-cussin' in Nebraska and I have no doubt she will be one of the finest cussers ever.


And if the Democrats cannot pick a nominee via primaries and cow-cusses I suggest maybe they have tug-o-war using a Big Ass. Or, alternatively, have surrogate tuggers like Me and and Buster (which my ma ape says is totally unfair because I have a chub advantage over Buster. Is that why they call some of them Superdelegates?)

And also I would just like to say that 1) I will accept a new Big Ass from the Democratic Party because mine is beyond repair and 2) maybe Buster and I could each grab one of John McCain's arms and TUUUUUUG. I think we'd be good at that.

Super Silly Wednesday!

I was up late watching election returns so I'd like to keep things light today. So I thought I would share some funny things I saw yesterday.

1. The Conan O'Brien/Stephen Colbert/Jon Stewart Fight-o-Rama over the transitive property of Huckabee:





I would just like to add my two cents which is that I invented the transitive property as it applies to football years ago. So, boys, I WIN!

2. Nobody likes Mitt Romney. In West Virginia, John McCain pledged his delegates to Mike Huckabee just so Mitt Romney couldn't have any. I believe Nelson Muntz said it best on the Simpsons--HA HA. Here's why no one likes that dude:



3. This is me being adorable.

SUPER TUESDAY!

Today is a very important day. Twenty-three states are voting in primaries and might pick the nominees of both parties for the election in November. It's the playoffs before the Super Bowl! Except these actually matter! Well I got all ready to vote. I cleaned my voting paw, I put on my best Mariners collar and I watched approximately 400 hours of election coverage in the last few weeks. And Wolf Blitzer is NOT worthy of the name "wolf."

And then my ma ape told me. Dogs don't get to vote. Well, this explains a lot. No wonder things get so bungled. If the Dogocrats were in charge...

So here I am, a spectator in the process. But I made sure to remind my ma ape to get to the polls early and often! (If only we lived in Chicago). I got out one of my friends--Son of Big Ass, my mini-donkey.

Yes, the Democrats' mascot is an ass. But better to have one as your symbol than as your nominee! *rimshot!* Thank you, I'll be here all day!

Remind your apes to vote! And be sure to tell them HOW to vote. I really don't trust them not to mess this one up.