Boys With Big Hearts

Bill Clinton had to go to the vet today to get treatment for his heart after chest pains. I have to go to the vet again tomorrow--after two days where we couldn't leave our house--because my heart is not getting better. I am, as they say, one sick puppy.


We have had some LOUSY weather here in Dela-Where that has trapped us in the house (and my ape with a shovel in her hand). The snow was so deep we almost lost the sheppys!


I have not been so sick that I can't do my part clearing the snow

Mmmmmmmm. Wudder Ice. (I do recommend avoiding the lemon ones).

And when I got filled up with snow I cleared some space by roaching.


I do look good in Nor'easter!

Wally's Wild Kingdom

My ape has had a serious case of the creeping crud and it has made her even lazier than usual! I know, that is really saying a lot. I believe she has boar flu and I think we know who the culprits are! (See my previous post). But I would like to take an opportunity to rebut some scurrilous accusations that have been made. Some commenters on my previous blog mentioned that I might resemble the heretofore mentioned boars which might explain why my ape was fond of them. Here is my side eye in response to that:


Here is a primer on the difference for those of you who clearly need glasses. Boars have BIG bodies and little heads:

Wallies have enormous heads and wee ickle bodies:

Boars have nasty looking tusks.

Wallies have sweet wee tongues:


Boars are goofy looking:


Wallies always have a dignified air about them:


Piggies befriend weird looking dogs and even apes:

Babe: Pig In The City (Theatrical Trailer) Unedited

While Wallies boss around weird looking dogs and slay monkey sticks:

Thank you for your attention in this important matter. Now go get your eyes checked.

Look like a boar. *snort*

Help me, please!

Oh no. Someone please help. You see I am so sapped of strength that all I can do is nap in a series of adorable poses.


I can barely keep my eyes open.

Here is why. LOOK AT MY WEIGHT!!!!


My ma ape says that this is a Type O but I see nothing about my blood type, only a weight that is DANGEROUSLY LOW and OBVIOUSLY ACCURATE. I will take all donations in food form. (Meats preferred but not necessary.) And I will take offers from Angelina Jolie to adopt me. I hear she feeds her kids junk food.

Ain't No Sunshine

It has been raining for a million days straight.

And the Cornhuskers lost to Texas Tech.

This corgador needs some cheering up.

I'm going to beg for snacks and listen to some good tunes. This is a song for my friend Narra who got her first title in herding last week.

What the? Weekend

So my ma ape had a Con For Aunts down in Bawlmer this Saturday so she could not go to the SPCA and I was STOKED because it would mean one weekend without my hussy of a ma ape trolling about town for other dogs. But then she vanished on Sunday and when I looked at her camera I found things that were shocking and appalling.

It's my friend Tuchuck!

He and his sissy Narra were doing agilities like Mango's bro Dexter! Uh, Narra has asked me not to speak of her experience, though Saturday she got BLUE RIBBONS and that's all I'm going to say. And today it was my ma ape's fault that Tuchuck got distracted by her and almost ran off the course at the beginning! See, ma ape, you are not helping so come home!

But there were more shocking things. Corgis!

And their bunny butts!

Those short leggers can jump!

And maybe even fly. (Show offs!)

OMD! Is that OBST?


No, this dog did what he was told with minimal screaming and carrying on.

This girl--a Belgian Sheppy--looked like Ethel with long locks!

This is Garbo the Boo Mastiff!

This was my ma ape's fave.

He's a MangoDog! A (Slightly Less Than) Relentlessly Huge Mastiff! And when he got flustered doing weave poles he decided to take a moment to compose himself and laid down. Good boy! I don't know how he got so far off the ground but I'm working on a theory of Mastiff Gravity that I'm sure will win me another Nobel Prize.


And look what they found right next to where Narra and Tuchuck were chilling! It's the component parts of a corgador or, as I like to call it, Deconstructed Wally!

And the labby would lick lick lick the corgi's back. Just like Oscar cleans my face and ears for me.

So here are some raspberries to you, ma ape for neglecting ME for this fancy agilities dogs though I might forgive you if you give us more cornish hens for breakfast.


Next week my ma ape will be back to her hussy-like ways AND she's going to decorate for her favorite holiday--Wall-O-Ween--so I'll be neglected again. Woe is Wally.

Blech.

Because my blog is not scratch and sniff I will instead give you a visual of our morning.

Now excuse me, I have two smelly peppy sheppys to lock out of the house.

Who's Your Uncle?

So this morning my ma ape was working away--tap tap tap on the computer--when she reached down to give me a pet and saw THIS on my pawpaw! (it's on the left, between my two toes).

It was a big red LUMP between my toes and so she packed me up in the car to go to the v-e-t. And the J.Ape had my RONDO so we had to take the old car. It needs new fool injectors (we have plenty of fools, just need the injecting) so it is always an adventure to see if the engine will fall out! I was so embarrassed.

And I was very disappointed to see that their scale is obviously broken.

I like to hide under the bench but the vet said he the tufts of fur into the room to find me.

And the vet came in and told my ma ape that it was probably a wee cyst and then he stuck a three, five, twenty inch needle in my pawpaw and out came PUS. It was PAWESOME. He said it is an interdigital cyst, common in labbie abbies. So, here is an anatomy lesson.

Intermediate sized sis-ter:


Interdigital cyst-er (post bloodletting):



It so happens that this problem puts me in good company with one of my best real world buddies, Jackson! (Coincidentally we also share the problem of annoying sisters and bratty brudders but that's another story for another blog)

The proper name for these thingies is Furunculosis/Furuncles which makes me n' Jackson FurUncles!

Ahhhhh. Two Fur Uncles, full of pus and vinegar.

neW seCRetaRY NEEded

I need some serious help. My ma ape is generally pretty worthless but she's rendered herself more useless than usual.

She mooshed her fingers.


Her MIDDLE finger! She has lost a major communication device.

Typing I mean. Hehe. I will be accepting applications. In the meantime she is doing the ole hunt and peck. It is a slow and annoying process.

A Tragic Loss

We have suffered a great loss in our family. The greatest stuffy of All Time. Beloved by many, humped by Waylon, and gifted by Grammie. And thus, friends, Wall-E ends.


There has been much gnashing of teeth and rending of garments. And you'd better believe that I have my eyes on the culprit.



Since it is open season on Wall-Es I will be sleeping with one eye open.

And plotting my revenge. Oh yes, sweet sweet revenge.