Friday, June 02, 2006

summering shepherds

my friend narra's on vacation! happy trails, narra. while at a colorado rest stop she met a black lab named "husker." i hope husker left behind a little piece of nebraska, if you know what i mean.

punch drunk apes

zookeepers in budapest are "keeping their monkeys and apes blood counts high" by giving them red wine:
BUDAPEST, Hungary (Reuters) -- Monkeys and apes at the Budapest Zoo drink their way through 55 liters of red wine each year, albeit in small quantities each day, to help boost their red blood cells, the zoo said Monday.

sounds good to me. hand over the fat dog stout, i feel my blood cell counts are gettin' low.

i pee on bushes (and your constitutional amendment)

hmmm...just get caught gathering data on private citizens's internet usage? support for your war withering in the shadow of possible war crimes? economic indicators telling a bad story? why, it must be time to revive the constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage! thank goodness, as my good friend rick santorum likes to remind us, it is a slippery slope from same-sex marriage to people trying to marry their dogs and i am a confirmed bachelor!.

i'm so glad some of you naked apes have so much good sense that in light of news that soldiers may have assasinated small children, you realize that the greatest threat to civilizations is a couple of lesbians getting hitched in massachusetts. thank GOODNESS you sensible naked apes are in charge of the planet. i'll take my chances with the killer chimps.

deutsche dogge

my granny sent me this picture of a handsome german dog from her trip to deutschland. love of short-legged slightly chubby dogs is universal. i imagine my german brethren would welcome me with open paws, if their legs were long enough to open.

speaking of german hospitality, i also read a funny story in today's new york times about rude british soccer fans. their fellow brits are afraid they might be naughty at the world cup with chants like "two world wars one world cup." i'm not sure being better at war than soccer (last world cup--1966) is anything to be proud of. unless you take after your chimp cousins (see below).

i'm not sure why everyone is getting so worked up. it's not like it's real football. (wally 1, soccer-loving weirdos 0).