Wednesday, July 20, 2005

dogged by colloquialisms

today in the new york times they use not one but two different colloquialisms that involve dogs. neither of which is flattering. "wag the dog" is used to imply that the bush administration is doing a little spin doctoring, distracting from turd blossom's problems by announcing his supreme court nominee who, in addition to being a stealth conservative, also has republican congressman helmet hair. the association of dogs with the ability to distract naked apes with shiny new things, or with that crappy movie, is not fair.

the other oft used phrase right now is "dog days" of summer--the days in which we lie around, miserable, because it's too damn hot to do anything else. while i will agree that i spend a great deal of time lying around it is not because i am miserable or too hot to do anything else. it's because i enjoy it. dogs should never be associated with misery.

Monday, July 18, 2005

turds blossoming

so it sounds like the old turd blossom is in trouble. and before anyone accuses me of being partisan (which i am), bush gave him that nickname. which, i should note, is a horrible smear on turds. poop at least degrades and contributes vital nutrients to the soil. (and i think it smells lovely, though i know you naked apes lack my refined taste). i doubt karl rove contributes anything other than noxious odor and the occasional personal attack (see link above). so perhaps we could re-christen him 'toe-nail clipping,' 'bordatella shot,' or 'karl rove,' all high on my list of least favorite things.