a weekend of bowls
since i live within the philly tv station broadcast zone i have heard NOTHING but superbowl all goddamn week. now, i'm a pretty big football fan and i have nothing against the superbowl, especially when it involves snacks, but it's really cutting into the usual local news fare of stupid criminals and funny animals. all i hear is will t.o. play or not? what the hell is a "t.o."? is it related to b.o.? i'm familiar with that. it's my understanding that whatever this "t.o." thing is, it broke its leg a few weeks ago and now wants to play football anyway. you naked apes are really stupid, it's a wonder natural selection hasn't knocked you out already.
at any rate, there are many other bowls this weekend including this morning in philly they held the wing bowl which almost caused a riot when far more naked apes showed up than could fit in the 20,000-seat stadium. and, of course, being the apes that you are, the already-drunk primates started hooting and hollering and throwing beer cups. anyway, i'm real mad my mawma wouldn't get up at 3 a.m. to take me to philly because i most definitely would have won. my time on the street taught me eat or be eaten. and damn it, i can eat. and if they're rioting over the wing bowl? i don't think philly is going to make it through the weekend--they win, they riot and burn down the city. they lose, they riot and burn down the city. again, i ask, why hasn't evolution taken you out yet?
second is the puppy bowl. it appears to be an hour of television consisting almost entirely of puppies running around on a faux football-field doing cute puppy things. i will be rooting for the frogdog, itsy, and roxi the corgi mix.
e-a-g-l-e-s BEAGLES! please win so the naked apes are happy.