Friday, February 04, 2005

wallies wallies everywhere

so i've been reading about cloning animals in harper's; they think it might help revive endangered or even extinct species. of course people want to clone their pets since we are always doing things like saving your lives, or your feet. but why are you stupid naked apes starting with goddamn cats? have i mentioned i hate cats? because i am so selfless, i decided to look up pet cloning for the naked apes that i own since they certainly will want more of a good thing, me. i have to admire the funny name of the biggest company, genetic savings and clone. all you have to do is send tissue samples plus $900 (and $100/year) and they will gene bank your pet. then some more money for the actual cloning. they hope to clone a dog this year. so, basically, all of you naked apes could get yoruself a little piece of wally. now it may seem a little unethical to spend thousands and thousand of dollars cloning a pet when there are millions of animals euthanized every year but i am an endangered species since i am one of a kind. and, really, it would be selfish of me to keep this perfect dna all to myself. i wonder, though, would i recognized the cloned wallies as related to me? would i be jealous? would i boss them around--what if they were as bossy as me? could i control my whole army of wallies? oops, i may have revealed a bit too much about my cloning plans.


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