Saturday, March 24, 2007

A Tail of Two Dogs

Last weekend I exercise my corgi half by herding my sister. This week--my labby half with some good, quality retrieving! My sister and I have very different ball playing styles. Here is a side by side comparison:

My sister runs FAST and HARD.

Wally takes his time coming.

And going.

My sister has ferocious jaws.

Mine are a bit gentler.

Ethel has an impressive vertical.

Wally's vertical is, um, not quite as high but just as impressive.

Ethel has the world's floppiest tongue and a goofy face.

Wally shows his quiet dignity.

Wally wins. Because it's my blog.

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Sad News

If you hear a sad "arooooooooooo" in the dog blog world it's because we've lost a great one. Dakota of the Brat Pack sadly passed away from a heart attack yesterday. You can read his story here. He was rescued as a puppy and lived a happy life as sometimes ruler of a wonderful pack of rescue dogs.

Don't forget to send your tail wags to Dakota's family.

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Spring Break!

Get out the bikinis and beer bongs--we're on SPRING BREAK and we're going MAD!

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Friday, March 23, 2007

Dog Food Recall Update

A lot of my fellow bloggers have posted info about the Menu Foods recall, prompted because over a dozen dogs and some goddamn cats have died from kidney failure. Apparently they've found the culprit--aminopterin. Also known as rat poison.

My mum is now highly paranoid about feeding me manufactured dog food even though she doesn't feed me any of the wet foods on the list. I suggested she could taste my food before I eat it but she hasn't taken me up on that. I hope this means naked ape food for me! I think tonight is green curry night--I can do that.

On a serious note, I hope none of my friends (and even their goddamn cats) have eaten the rat poisoned food. Stay healthy, pals.

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Family Values

I just read this feel-good story about two labby brothers from a shelter who were re-u-ni-ted (and it feels so good!) at a doggy day care. It's a nice way to start the weekend:

They were called Wallace and Gromit, a couple of abandoned yellow Labrador retriever siblings who wound up at the Coulee Region Humane Society. The pups were 5 months old last June when they were adopted out, but to separate homes. Months later, Pat Kucera at Diggity Dog Daycare noticed two yellow Labs named Levi and Cooper would "play like crazy" every time they got the chance during visits to his facility.

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Friday's Corgadors

Some of my best friends like Miss Sunshade and Maggie have gotten new BABIES in their houses, Nanook is thinking about getting a new brother and I am worried that my ma ape has puppy fever! Sadly, I cannot make any puppies because my previous reproductive capacities were rudely stolen, a great loss for the civilized world. So I trolled Petfinder to find potential heirs. Here's what I found!

This gal is Bindi, a wee girl in North Carolina. Her coloring suggests an Aussie and her stumpy legs say CORGI.

This wee feller is Blake. His coloring looks an awful lot like mine and he has wee stumpy legs and a square-ish head. Also he looks like he's bringing the sassy back. I can get behind that.

Roo. He's Bindi's bro. I picked him out for his chubby paws! They will be useful in the future for prying away snacks from the ma ape, not because chubby paws can be used for grabbing but because when she sees them the ma ape says "oh, that's so cute" and gives snacks.

Oops! This no puppy but an old man! But we old guys got look out for one another. This smiley guy is Nolan. I could use an older, wiser pal to help raise the baby Wallies.

Let's liberate these corgadors!

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

Dog Gone Good?

Miss Sunshade asked how I can be so gosh-darned mobile given my arf-ritis and back problems. Answer--I'm not telling my secret of eternal life! However, I will say that I have been taking Dog Gone Pain for several weeks now and we have noticed a definite uptick in my activity level, including my mad herding skillz demonstrated in the videos below. However, I have also had more meat lately (which I DEFINITELY think helps--gimme more!), and my mum (on Sunshade's suggestion) has been giving me cherry extract for the joint inflammation, and the weather has been better so....who knows what the magic formula is!

I showed the DGP with my bananas because DGP is the ONE thing I will spit out in spite of the fact they claim it has a palate pleasing taste. Odd. So I eat it with my Naners, one of my favorite foods. Maybe the naners have magical healing powers? I need more!

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Safer Bully Sticking.

It's been nice out so we've gotten to have our bully sticks outside but I believe this may pose a serious risk to our health. I'm quite worried of things falling out of the sky to bop us on our noggins. My fears include, but are not limited to: skydiving buzzards, hunks of airplane waste, other dogs pouncing, flying cats, and asteroids. See, here, my sister's head is completely exposed. Now, it is less of a problem for her because she has a skinny little head with not so much inside of it. You don't need a big brain to spend your days contemplating where the next tennis ball will come from.

But my head is ENORMOUS to protect the gigantic brain inside. It is needed to think about weighty issues like naked ape stupidity, the comparative tastiness of rabbit vs. salmon, and how I will propagate the valuable commodity of the corgador without my family jewels. So I have co-opted my mawma's new bicycle helmet.

Yup, nothing will scramble these valuable brains!

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Chase Continues

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The Great Chase

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The Moral Ape

Well, sounds like you naked apes aren't so special after all. Scientists believe that your cousin apeys show signs of moral behavior.

Some animals are surprisingly sensitive to the plight of others. Chimpanzees, who cannot swim, have drowned in zoo moats trying to save others. Given the chance to get food by pulling a chain that would also deliver an electric shock to a companion, rhesus monkeys will starve themselves for several days. Biologists argue that these and other social behaviors are the precursors of human morality. They further believe that if morality grew out of behavioral rules shaped by evolution, it is for biologists, not philosophers or theologians, to say what these rules are.

While I'm intrigued by the idea of animal morality I'm not sure why that means that biologist apes should get to define the rules. It's time for the animals to make 'em. Because you naked apes sure have been doing a bang-up job. So now that you're not the only "moral" creatures, what makes you so special anyway? Language? Phhhbt. Wait until you find out that our supposedly senseless barks and silly play bows have actually been an elaborate language giving order to our army of apes ready to overthrow our naked ape overlords? Have I said too much?

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A Day to Play!

Finally! Weather worth playing in! My sister used her time as usual...

Here is my sister's usual thought pattern: Chasetheballchasetheballchasetheball.

And as she gets closer: ballballballballball.

But wait! What's this in the picture!

Yup, I was feeling so good I played my favorite game ANNOY MY SISTER! Look--I imitate her behind her back.

And pounce!

And then the thrill of the chase!

It was so much fun I decided to play a little of the old ball myself.

With one athletic leap the ball is mine!

I wonder what the big deal is about the ball. Does it taste like ice cream?

Nope, just drool. Good enough for me.

Ahhhhhh. Is spring finally here?

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New friends!

I have made a solemn vow to make new friends. Not because there's anything wrong with my old ones--in fact they couldn't be more awesome--but because there are NEW BLOGS on Dogs with Blogs all the time and I'm wasting valuable resources by not visiting them ALL. So every week I will visit a NEW BLOG. Also, my mum is finding new and exciting ways to procrastinate away her book manuscript and what better way than to meet new dogs! (They promote you for blogging, right?)

This week my NEW FRIENDS (who don't know I'm their friend...yet!) are The Beastly Beasts, a lovely lot of greyhound rescues from the U.K. I picked them because of their names (my granny calls me The Beast!) and because they are greyhounds who remind me of my sister's greyhound half. Also, I've been accused of vanity and having special fondness for dogs who look like ME (short, compact, big heads, deadly handsome) and nothing could be more different from me than a greyhound so this is my attempt to show that I am not entirely self-centered. No, really. Now give me snacks for being good.


Spring Fever!

First was the snow and now the rain. Can a dog get a break? Well, my sister and I had plenty of energy to burn and after inspecting the carpet for crumbs, liberating the squeakies from their box, and barking at the mail carrier we need a new activity so I decided to do a little warm up for Dancing with the Stars. But since I AM a star I do Dancing with the Seal.

Jump to the right!

Chase the tail!
Then my sister got in on the dance. Look at our finely coordinated movements.

This is a little move we call "fight over the stuffy!"

And! Look at my ears. I use them to get extra lift on my hops. 10.0!

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Monday, March 19, 2007

Spring Forward Already!

It has been so cold that my sister and I have had to huddle together for warmth. As you can see in the background we have also had to root through our toybox to get out ALL the SQUEAKIES. I've been trying to convince the ma ape that it was out of necessity that we got them ALL out and spread them AROUND the newly Dysoned house but she's not convinced. She wouldn't survive a day on her own.

But the sun is out, the snow is melting and things are looking up!

All this warmth has made me think of my friend up north, Sophie, who is saddened because I don't serenade her. So I've written more verses of Dirty Old Dog just for her:

My gal Sophie's from Montreal
A yellow lab with a big square head
I'll chase her tail if she'll chase a ball
Dirty old doooooooooooog, dirty old dog

Why do all my loves come from Canada?
Is it that my heart's a maple leaf?
But all I want is to lick her paw.
Dirty old doooooooooooooog, dirty old dog.

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Sunday, March 18, 2007

'Tis the Season for Confusion

My sister and I have been blowing our coats for over two weeks now, depositing giant puffs of our beautiful fur around the house--for free! But then the snow, sleet, and ice came. What season is it anyway???

It was too hard to eat, and too icy to play in. What good is snow, then?

My sister is so confused she thinks it is football season!

And I stave off the cabin fever indoors with a tasty tasty knuckle bone. Sophie asked about my Shane MacGowan teeth. While my ability to chew bones is impressive, it is all the more so when you see my dearth of teeth. I'll post a picture for YOU Sophie. But without a bone in it.

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A desperate plea for help!

I tried to get Sally Struthers to do an ad for poor Gertie here but she was unavailable so I will have to make a plea on behalf of Gert myself. Gertie, here, is a good dog. Like me, she enjoys eating grass and chasing geese. She did an excellent job of rescuing her own naked apes who Gertie has trained very well. Sadly, however, as you can see, they enjoy publicly humiliating poor Gertie by putting her in Michigan Wolverines gear. Look at her sad and embarrassed eyes. As a fellow dog, a fortunate Cornhusker fan, and general dogitarian, I believe we must intervene, liberating her apes from their confusion. Gertie, we don't blame you for wearing this unfortunate get-up and we are certain that you remember the last time the Wolverines played the Cornhuskers and the Hooskers were victorious, 32-28. And I'm sure you remember Michigan's last national championship in 1997 which they had to share with the Cornhuskers (even though the Huskers beat Tennessee led by Peyton Manning 42-17 and Michigan barely beat a mediocre Wazzu. Just saying). Now, I'm not sure your apes are as smart as we dogs and thus are unlikely to be persuaded by reason. And I WOULD suggest a nice nip to the hand that tries to put Michigan gear on you but I'm a Nebraska fan and we're known for being polite. Wikipedia even says so. But I can suggest leaving some small "presents" in their shoes. I understand the smell is not unlike the odor Michigan left in this year's Rose Bowl.

Stay strong, Gertie.

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