My Irish Eyes are Smiling!

We're getting ready for St. Paddy's Day! So exciting! It's an especially important holiday because we are Irish!


OK, we're not really Irish. And my ma ape informs me that having short legs and a salty attitude does not make me a leprechaun. But my ma ape used to live in Ireland.

OK, not really. She lived in Northern Ireland. And though she might have turned green a few times after late nights out, she is also not a leprechaun. But we do support America's first Irish President.

Haha! Get it! I thought of that joke a long time ago and look! They put it on a shirt!

Look! My Irish eye is smiling.


I hope we are stocking up on Guinness and corned beef for the big day! But I did uncover something verrrrrrry interesting...

Monday is ALSO my beguiling bud Stan's burpday. Do you think HE is a Saint? He is to me. I have been busy saving Wally smoocheroonies for the StanApe but she cannot have them until she finishes her master's. Because once she gets Wally smooches she will not be able to concentrate on anything else.

Anyway--I'm trying to send St. Stan a good Irish dinner with beef n' potatoes and Guinness but the envelope keeps leaking. I will have to think of something else...

Dr. Uncle Eric IN THE HOUSE!

This is an image closing resembling one of my favorite naked apes, ONKEL ERIC who now we must refer to DR. ONKEL ERIC. He defended his disscombobulation today and became a PhDog.


Congrats, Onkel Eric, I am wearing my S**T happens sweatshirt because no one is a more awesome pessimist than you...but then s**t happened!

Wally Tamale News

Hello blogging pals! My secretary is still writing on things she should have been done with a long time ago so I've been kept from my keyboard and I'm pretty fed up. She's threatening to go on strike if I don't stop yelling at her but I told her the writers aren't on strike anymore so she'd better work or I'll crack the whip. (Does anyone have good union busting tips? My ma ape is getting a little uppity). Anyway, I thought I would give you an update on what I've been up to.

First, to answer all your stain-related questions:

1. I am not sick. I have been known to barf with some regularity. In particularly, sometimes I eat too fast (chewing is for amateurs!) and then it is like deja vu all over again.
2. I do not eat my barf. In fact, I have a little barf-phobia and I avoid my own stains (and Sissy Stains) like the plague.
3. My ma ape says NO STAIN pictures. It is now a nice bright orange color.

Now, on with the news.

First, there was rain and our yard looked like this:


And me and my damp sissy had to do things like this:


To shake off the damp!


And then, there was Springing Ahead and I was so mad at Daylight Savings Time because I needed that hour for sleeping!


And then when we go to the field in the morning it is still dark! Which has its advantages because, under cover of night, I can steal the ball.


I steal it from this one!


Be honest, who has better catching form? Don't worry, you won't hurt Ethel's feelings.


There's also been a bit of this, but only by the harsh light of day.


I also like to play pounce. How come no other dogs seem to like this game? (By the way, I always pounce. Never the pouncee. Those are the rules of this game.)


And there has been roaching. Always the roaching.


I hope to be able to visit you all SOON. I will get my ma ape a ladder so she can get over herself and set some priorities.

A Mighty Stain

This morning I made a tribute to my pal Ikenstein, the proud recipient of the first Stain award, selected by the greatest Stainer of them all, Joe Stains.

After my early morning walk and breakast I settled onto the couch for my early morning nap. And then I sat up, leaned over the edge of the couch and barfed out the Really Expensive Breakfast my ma ape had just made me. Reversal of fortune. Vomitacious. Puke-o-Rama. There will be Barf. It was wonderful. 'Twas a mighty stain.


This picture has nothing to do with the actual stain. My ma ape just said the stain just made her nauseous and she refused to take a picture of it. It is pinkish-orange on our already nasty grey carpet. SO AWESOME.


I hope I paid adequate tribute to my fellow Stainers.

Firing my Secretary

Many of you have had a problem similar to mine: it's hard to find good help these days. My ma ape has been lousy. She says she's "busy" and so she can't help me blog or visit my friends' blogs. Why last week was Joeypalooza and I didn't get in nearly enough celebrating! Sigh. I will have to catch up and SOON. After she's less busy, my ma ape says. So if anyone has any apes for hiring, I'm taking applications.

The one GOOD thing about the ma ape being busy is that she takes us to the field in the early morning to get us lots of exercise or to "get our ya-yas out" as my friend Narra's ape would say.

We get up very early for our exercise right when the sun is getting up:

And I roach every day.


Sissy and I practice tongue callisthenics.



And sometimes I shove my sissy. She likes it.

I'll be back.