Sleeping Beauty

Turn it up to hear the melodious roar of my snoring. It was so lovely I snorted myself awake.

Dirty Rotten Sisters

A dog tries to get a little beauty rest and what happens?


His sis absconds with his squeaky frog and his friend, the squeaky seal.


I'll have to sleep with one eye open.

No Place Like Home!

Look at this dog! He was lost for FOUR YEARS but had a microchip and was reunited after someone turned him in to a shelter in Montana. He was from Kansas City. That's a LONG way!

I had to look at this picture very carefully. At first I thought Joe Stains had convinced some family that the Doofus was their long lost Boston. But no spot on the head. It is an idea, though, Joe.

Will Herd for Food

My good pal Narra sent me this article from the New York Times (she likes to keep up with the news) about how they're hiring the Geese Police, border collies to chase away the geese in Central Park. Narra though maybe we could get some jobs and buy ourselves more snacks since our owners are cheapskates.

I am posting this great picture of me hard at work. Will work for food! And I won't be a camera hound like that border collie in the top picture. I don't need to pose; I'm naturally lovely.

Dog-a!

They're offering dog yoga in my old haunt (Seattle).

Nearly every dog in the group took at least one break to sniff a canine or human or both, but Bryan seemed pleased with how the class was going and was neither outwardly amused nor flustered when Honey and Shadow crowded onto the mat with her and Gus.

Although her voice was yoga calm, her words showed she shared the other humans’ amusement.

“Everyone is being so good — and the dogs too.”

I am best at the poses "Downward sleeping dog" and also "Pestering ma ape on the dog-a mat" Sign me up!

Happy Burpday Marvin!

Drinks on me!

I'd like to give a bark-out to my pal Marvin (one of my oldest dogbloggin' pals!) who is having a burpday today (almost yesterday where he is!). Marvin is the world's finest Scotsman poet and is also a darn fine guy with a nice, sophisticated greying muzzle (like me!). Marvin, I hope you relaxed and wrote some fine lyrical poetry whilst getting your belly rubbed and being hand fed the finest in Scottish meats and cheeses.

As per Marvin's request, instead of sending him presents, I instead gave a donation to a local shelter. The dogs will be dining on Marvin tonight (courtesy of him, that is). That is one selfless and awesome guy, eh?

In his honor, here is a limerick:

There once was a dog named Marvin
Who fed homeless dogs who were starvin'
That selfless Scot
Gave as good as he got
A great burpday I hope he is havin'

Ok, it doesn't rhyme so well but "Marvin" isn't as easy to rhyme with as "Nantucket."

Happiness

Q: Why is Wally so happy?



A: He is eating baby carrots. Mmmmm....babies.

Assessing the tainted food debacle

I read this good editorial in SFGate today. It talks about how the number of deaths from the tainted pet food has been underreported and how the complete lack of oversight of the pet food industry is to blame.

Nearly one month passed from the date Menu got its first report of a death to the date it issued the recall. During that time, no veterinarians were warned to be on the lookout for unusual numbers of kidney failure in their patients. No pet owners were warned to watch their pets for its symptoms. And thousands and thousands of pet owners kept buying those foods and giving them to their dogs and cats.

Not only is the probably worse than we thought but we will probably never know exactly how bad it is. There's no clear system for reporting pet illness/death or even for getting information. The information has been poorly reported and disseminated and my ma ape is not entirely sure she trusts the FDA's claim that the wheat gluten isn't in the ape food supply and she eats loads of wheat gluten (as a meat substitute).

Strange Fruit

My ma brought this thing home yesterday. What the hell? Is it a porcupine? A palm tree?


Eh, whatever. I'll eat it.

Get my cousin a sammich!

A coyote in Chicago went into a Quiznos for a toasted sub and got nothin' but arrested. Apparently coyotes are not unusual in Chicago and they're busiest in April and May. I bet he was just looking for some snacks before heading off to a Cubbies game.

Spring Training

Is it football season yet? I'm sleeping with my football pillow and my Hoosker blanket just WAITING.


P.S. Ike, I've been reading your blog so much I'm starting to look like you! I can't keep my tongue in my mouth. Or else I'm sticking it out at Buffaloes!

Easter Bunny Audition

Mmmmmm....grass.

Me and My Big Head

I have a big head. Here it is doing some things:

Playing with my FAVORITE HEDGIE that my pal Joe Stains and his Doofus brother gave me.


Here I suck the marrow from life and from my bone.


I'm not a carnivore. Here my big head snacks on some salad.


Here is my big head enjoying the flowers. I love Wa-lly in the springtime!


Here me and my big head blow raspberries in the air. PHHHHBBBBBBT. Who do you think I'm sticking my tongue out at?

Taking Applications

The New York Times has a story on the rise in popularity of pet cookbooks since the Menu foods recall since, well, we now know that our food can kill us. And look! The story has a picture of a corgi (I think) to illustrate dogs who ought to be eating well. So, in order to facilitate my feeding, I'm taking applications for a personal chef because my ma has a whole shelf full of vegetarian cookbooks but no MEAT AND WALLYMELON AND BANANAS cookbook. What's up with that?

The story includes this snotty comment:

Most recipes in the books differ somewhat from human fare. Take, for example, the “Better Food for Dogs” presentation of Barbecued Hamburgers: “Cut burgers and buns into bite-size pieces. In a serving bowl, combine burgers, buns, tomato, lettuce, oil, potassium chloride and supplements. Mix thoroughly.” (None of the recipes suggest garnishes or wine pairings.)

Of COURSE there's no wine pairings. Everyone knows dogs drink beer.

Bwahahaha!

Now that I've won the Dogs with Blogs contest and I am the Blog of the Month I thought I would reveal to you...Wally is not a corgador. Wally is in fact a diabolical 30-pound cat lurking in the bushes waiting to pounce on dogbloggers! I have infiltrated your ranks and plan to leave little cat poo bombs on all your blogs! Bwahahaha!


P.S. Happy April Fool's Day!