Friday, November 03, 2006

meet the griffon!

this is griffon! he lives in indiana but needs a home. he looks AWESOME. that mouth is just ready to be filled with snacks.

the story of the corgador (part one)

miss sunshade
the superdale asked about the origin of the corgador, perhaps the finest creature to ever walk the earth (really, evolution, you can just stop now, there's nowhere to go but down from here). the corgador is a combination of corgi and labrador. now, this is entirely speculative since my true background is a mystery (other than i was found wandering the streets of yakima, washington with only a few patches of fur left, even fewer teeth, and looking a bit rough around the edges) but the likely combo package is a corgi and a lab. i hear my legs and my attitude are a dead giveaway for a corgi. i am bossy and i love to herd. my mawma was naturally drawn to the corgador (really, who isn't?) through an initial love of the corgi. i've posted pictures of conan, the dog who came before me. i get a little jealous sometimes because he was a stinkin' purebred. but my mawma assures me that she knows that mutts have got it goin' on.

perhaps someday i will fabricate a storied breed history of the corgador. until then, here's some pictures of stage one, moving toward the corgador. conan, the original corgi, who led to the birth of the corgador (figuratively barking, that is.)

here is wally, the corgador, demonstrating the wonder that is the mutt. i don't need no stinkin' pedigree.

here is conan, a corgi original. note the finely perfected napping form, maximizing both his napping capacity and his cuteness factor. this genetic trait of corgis will resurface in wally, combined with the snore of a bulldog and the drool of a mastiff.

conan again, this time displaying his lovely satellite dish ears, a trait not passed on to wally. and he also appears to wear a little too much eye make-up. regardless, you see the same spark of intelligence in his eyes, later to be replicated in wally. conan's bossy qualities, used for the procurement of snacks and often involving herding his people by nipping at their heels, are reproduced in wally three-fold leading to the ultimate Boss.

it's a nearly perfect process of evolution to arrive at wally. it's so perfect, in fact, that i might suspect an intelligent designer, were i not convinced that i'm the most intelligent thing in the universe.

the MuTT test

i got this link from ms. shelley jackson (a fantastic writer) on wall-o-weenie. when it said a MuTT test i though it was a test to determine if you belong to the greatest club on earth, the mutts! but actually it asks "what kind of a mutant are you?" and you can do a test to find out!

here is what my test said, i am shocked by how accurate it is (see highlighted bits). what kind of a mutant are YOU?


You and your twin are joined at the belly or chest; you share certain organs, including, possibly, your heart.

Like other people, you talk to yourself. Unusually, yourself talks back. You are in a life-long conversation with yourself, one so rich and scintillating that you are sometimes annoyed when other people try to get in on it—as of course they do, sensing that something interesting is being discussed. You can afford to rebuff them. You do not need them, you are your own best company. When you need comfort, you can snuggle up against yourself. When you need advice, you can give it. You could spend a lifetime locked in an embrace with yourself, smiling into your own eyes. You have found the perfect love. Your literary form is the sonnet.

You are related to...
Guadalupe y Josefina Hinojosa,
born in Havana, Cuba in 1912.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

dogbloggers beware!

crap-killer squirrels! and it's not even a wall-o-weenie joke!

OIL CITY, Pa. (AP) — Letter carriers occasionally have to deal with angry dogs or maybe even a spider's nest in a mailbox, but a mean squirrel?

Barb Dougherty, a 30-year Postal Service employee, said she was attacked and bitten Monday by a squirrel while delivering mail in Oil City, about 75 miles north of Pittsburgh.

"It was a freak thing. It was traumatic," Dougherty told The Derrick in Oil City. "I saw it there on the porch, put the mail in the box and turned to walk away and it jumped on me."

a corgador for YOU

all right, sarabera has been on petfinder FOREVER and i don't understand why. she's a corgador or a gorgi. and she's lovely. listen to this description:

Despite her age, Sara Bera is a happy, healthy and very active companion, who is as sweet and loving (except with some men) as she is beautiful. She's perfect material for a calendar cover gir! From her big brown eyes to her plume tail, she is a head-turner in any setting. HOWEVER, Sara Bera must have had some unpleasant experiences with men in the past because she can be at times unpleasant when confronted by men she doesn't know (although she does fine with some). Other than that, she's got everything going for her except a home! She's good with other dogs and cats and she will smother her human with kisses.

she sounds aweseome! we have much in common, we're old, beautiful, and experience a bit of misandry from time to time. so please, someone go get her.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

trick or treat

dogs are good for you.

here's yet another story about dogs doing good. this one is about dogs helping disabled veterans. these dogs are trained by inmates to become service dogs.

what would you do without us?

a salute to wall-o-ween ghosts and goblins

in the spirit of wall-o-ween and telling stories around the campfire to scare the crap out of children, i give you an array of terrifying beasts to inspire fear. no, this dog ain't afraid of politics (non-political canines may wish to avert their eyes but don't sniff these butts. they're stinky. and not in a good way.).

above is the shape-shifting joe, a creature who survives by sucking face with/sucking up to republican presidents. his primary mode of attack is boring his victims to death but he is a frightening beast because even if you kill him in the primaries, he just keeps coming back.

representative harris, the ghost of elections past, a unique creature able to inspire bipartisan fear. known for her vicious attacks on democracy and brutal flops in senate races. i have no idea what the hell she's doing in this picture but I hope that poor animal got away.

this is the ghost of administrations past, also known as rummy. known by his disdainful sneer, you can hear his approach with his cry of "back off!" this monster is known to never give up, apologize, or change course even in the face of abject failure.

known only as "the dick," this beast is shrouded in mystery, occasionally emerging from his 'undisclosed location' to make unilateral decisions, squash dissent, and do the occasional waterboarding. this zombie overlord eats the brains of those around him.

occasionally the dick will attempt a smile to soften his image curiously, this only makes him all the more terrifying, particularly when you find out that he's smiling because he just ate a fresh batch of your civil liberties.

now, before you begin your bloodcurdling screams, keep in mind that all of these monsters are vulnerable on the first tuesday in november if you drive a fresh ballot through their hearts.

a quiz

this is my sister ethel sitting in the remnants of my squeaky and with a cotton ball up her nose. why does she have a cotton ball up her nose? guess:

a) her wall-o-ween costume is kate moss! ethel is being skinny and pretending to do coke until her nose bleeds.
b) she's helping clean, using her nose as a teeny-tiny duster
c) this is her bunny disguise and she's hoping to sneak up on that little bastard who always gets away when we go into the backyard.
d) someone needs to do a better job cleaning the house so the dogs don't wind up with debris stuck to them.

happy wall-o-ween!

i don't need a costume, i've got my glowy eyes! is it time to trick or treat yet?