SPCA Saturday (Beast! In the House!)

What's UP!? It's Beast, bringing you a bangin' SPCA Saturday. My buddy Roscoe P. Neo is still here but he was out and about while the camerapeoples were here so I am TAKIN OVER the day!

Meet my buds! This is Angel who is a little poorly right now but is very well behaved and she likes to shake hands.
This is Zoey with the kickin' mohawk! She might be a mix, though I think she looks like one of those Brussels Griffon monkey dogs!

This is Daisy! She was adopted this morning! She looks like a miniature Ethel! She even likes to sit on peoples like Ethel but at 1/3 the size!

This dude is Max! He does NOT like to be crated. He does like to go outside and play.

And oh this is my new bud MOSES!

Moe has been getting some hot smoochin' action. Wally's gonna be jelly!

And this lady is Ruby Roo, the happiest girl in the world! Seriously, she's always walkin' on sunshine.

And I'm baaaack! PIT BOOOS ROOOL!


There are gonna be some more pictures of me being awesome because, let's face it, I'm awesome! And congrats to both Bellas who got adopterated and to PETEY who also got himself a home! Today I did extra kissing on the lady hoping she'd take me home. She's being strong but I think I can WORK IT.

Solving Problems, One Dog at a Time

My Onkel Eric sent me this article today from the Chi-Town Sun-Times titled "Black Dog Syndrome: Harder to Find Homes for Darker Pups":

Thomas the Tank's supple and shiny black Labrador coat is his most stunning feature.

It's also his greatest curse.

The 5-year-old bundle of sweet canine joy unwittingly suffers from "black dog syndrome," a term describing how large, black dogs often linger the longest on the adoption block at animal shelters. While scientific evidence of this malady is scarce, the phenomenon is real and also applies to black cats, those working in shelters say.

My onkel Eric noted that my ma ape, the social worker, has been doing her part to end this scourge. And so I give you--Black Dog Palooza! And as I was looking at these pictures I noticed the Amazing Growing/Shrinking Dog Syndrome that I have. I look dramatically different sizes in different pictures. Witness:

I fare well horizontally.

But vertically I'm small. Even when I'm in the front.

Ah, this looks about right.

Maybe that's why people are afraid of us? SHAPE SHIFTING SUPERHOUNDS!

Makin' Stains!

Joe Stains gives out regular stain awards to dogs who excel in making stains in a very public way. What Joe may not realizing is that he is rewarding behavior that is a finely-tuned product of evolutionary progress! You can read about it in the MSNBC article quite nicely titled "Wolves (and dogs) are in your face poopers."

Wolves do not do their business in any old place, but they instead choose locations that maximize visual impact and odor distribution, according to a new study that may also help to explain why dogs frequently relieve themselves on fire hydrants and other prominent urban landscape features.

As photographic evidence of my evolutionary advancement, here is me with some mighty fine in-your-face pooping--I'm pooping on Notre Dame! One of my many football nemeses!!!!

Yes, this picture is six years old and I have posted it several times before. But I will never tire of pooping on Notre Dame.

That's the nooz!

In Which There is Further Confusion

My baby brudder Oscar was very confused that he was not invited to the Oscar ceremony. So I told him it was NOT a ceremony for Oscars but he was not appeased. So I told him perhaps his invitation was sent to another Oscar.

Or maybe Ethel swiped his invite because she is a mighty fine Oscar impersonator.

Here are some other confusing things this week in which things are like other things. My GranNE was GranCA this week because she was in Palm Desert visiting her sissy (different than my sissy) and she sent me pictures of her and my gramps as well as this pho-to:

Apparently they have been turned into MOUNTAIN SHEEP. This is a troubling turn of events. How will she feed me snacks with NO THUMBS? Can she give butt rubs with those horns?

Also this wee my ma ape is doing her best roof imitation.

She has shingles! Grody to the max, ma ape! And then I had to have a little talk with Wall-E about the difference between Wall-E and Wall-Y. As you can see from this photo, Wall-E is a space robot. I am a space alien.


So that's your Wallosophy lesson for this week. Sometimes things are like other things but there can only be one Wally.

The OSCARS

Oh hi. Um, Wally told me yesterday that THE OSCARS were going to be on and I was TOTALLY excited about being on teevee. But then I was watching and, like it was all a bunch of dudes in penguin suits and sparkly ladies. Where are THE OSCARS??? I know you are probably as disappointed as I was so, without further ado, THE OSCARS!


Eating my ma ape.
Clean teeth, huh?

See my AWESOME feets?

Belly up!

Oops. No, in spite of the dooface, this one is The Ethel.


And then I heard that Wall-y won an Oscar for Animated Feature which was confusing cuz he told me he had to take me, Oscar, because he LOST a poker game. Confusing.

And then I heard Some Dog won an Oscar? And they're some dog millionaires? Oh I want to live with THOSE dogs!

You Say It's my Burpday!!!!

Burpdays are the Best Days!

Six years ago TODAY a lady showed up at Three Rivers Rescue in Snoqualmie Washington (that's where they filmed the intro to Twin Peaks. And yes, I'd like a slice of cherry pie, please. And that fish from the percolator). And I adopted that lady!

Gus asked how old I am and the answer is, a lady never tells. But they thought I was eight at my rescue. My ma ape isn't sure I was that old but it's hard to tell because I have always had British teeth. And now I'd like to show you my burpday!

First we went to the field and it was RAINING. Of all the nerve!

But I still taught the peppy sheppys a thing or two! And then we came home for STEAKS!


Eat steak, eat steak, eat a big ole steak!


And then my ma ape said that we could go outside (for better light) to open my BIG BOX from GRAMMIE! The sheps offered to help!

But no way Jose am I sharing!

It was ALL great stuff! Apes Apes Apes! I tried to bribe my ma ape with the lovey ape but she said no re-gifting and I didn't want to give it to her anyway.

But look at the best part! Grammie knows me!!!! It's WALL-E! With WALL-Y!!!!

This is the greaterest, Grammie! Thank you so so much!

Then my buds Narra, Jacks, Tuchuck, Rousseau, and Tanner sent over their ape and I was like, oh yawn, an ape (cuz apes are pretty boring) but then he brought me a BAG from CANANANANADA and while it did not have Sophie or Lola in it, it DID have special Canadian snacks smuggled across the border!

As you can see, they are TAS-TY! They are elk snacks that look like elk poo! YUM.

I had many wonderful burpday wishes from my friends including Lenny who sent me a loverly card and Stan who made me some hi-larious art over at his place!



And Marvin wrote me a pome!


A Burpday Verse for Wally from Marvin:

"Wally, dear Wally, has a burpday coming up,
Wally, dear Wally, our dearest blogging pup.

How I wish him all the very best across the miles,
Lots of burpday gifts and lotsa smiles.

Many tasty eatables, meatables and a tennis ball,
For in our Hearts, dear Wally will always Walk Tall..........

All this burpdayin' has made me very tired so I'm going to get some beauty rest (once I'm done with my Canadian tastyables!) Thank you to everyone who sent me wonderful burpday wishes and, of course, to Grammie who united me with Wall-E! I am the luckiest dog in the world.

Zzzzzzzzz....