Saturday, January 05, 2008

We love balls!

Me n' my sissy are ballers. Specifically, footballers! We're big football fans and, as you SHOULD know it was a tough year for my favorite college team, the CORNHUSKERS. But things are looking up for my favorite pro team the SEAHAWKS.

This is what they did today to the Washington Redskins (Sophie--my sissy's teeth rival yours in whiteness, eh?):

Munch Munch Munch.

The Seahawks were in control, just like my sissy.

And also they were LARGE and IN CHARGE like me. There were TWO interceptions--like this one where I STOLE the ball from my sissy (ok, she dropped it in front of me, but still...)

Now the Steelers are going to be on. They're the favorite team of my friends Joe Stains, the Dogs of Jackman Ave, and Rosie the Rabbiter.

I hope they munch on the other team just like the Seahawks did.

Mmmmmmrph. Web ruv fooball mmrrph.

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Weekend Cleaning

My ma ape said that we have to clean the house before Granny (with an N for Nebraska) gets here. This could be a monumental task and the ma ape said that we will need all paws on deck.

Sissy was alarmed but volunteered to rid the yard of squirrels. Gee thanks, sissy.

I wanted to work on the ambience so I got out one of my oldest and bestest friends, the bungee corgi:

Bungee Corgi came all the way from Seattle! And is still--miraculously--in one piece. We have heart to hearts from time to time to discuss life as a short-legged dude. He is the strong, silent type and is an excellent listener.

I think Granny (N for Needing Snacks, Granny!) will like to meet B.C. He's the kind of friend you can really sink your teeth into.

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Friday, January 04, 2008


A cow-cussed, an Obama won. Awesome! I like both dudes who came in one and two (but not that Huckleberry Huckster guy).

My sissy said I should support Kucinich because we are both munchkins. I told her to shut her yapper.

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Thursday, January 03, 2008

Meet Rosie the Rabbiter!

This is my new buddy Rosie! She has moved in with my friends Glenn & Amy. Me n' Amy n' Glenn go WAY back. Their goddamn cat Katya sometimes stops by to leave her 2 cents. (Penny for your thoughts, Katya, cuz that's all I'd pay for 'em!)

Rosie has already completed Stage One of a little plan I call "Operation Big Brown Eyes" whereby we will slowly take over the Naked Ape world, one household at a time, using the hypnotic and irresistible power of our incredible cuteness. See:

Stage One involved selecting an appropriate household full of apes with big hearts. Now it is time for Stage Two. This involves deploying your secret weapon (Big Brown Eyes) to be showered with snacks and squeakies (which I hear are your toy of choice good for you!) No lap shall be safe. No hands left not rubbing bellies or scratching behind ears. Let the revolution begin.

Well done, my friend.

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Goodbye Cow-causes!

I am taking a break from complaining about my diet to complain about politics! Thank goodness that the Iowa caucuses are OVER today so they can stop interviewing every single person in Iowa (and yet--I have not seen opinion makers like Butchy & Snickers!) and taking polls three times a day. My granny (N for Nebraska!) gets Iowa teevee stations so she has developed a close and personal bond with all of the candidates, especially the RomneyBot (haha! Don't spank me when you visit, granny! [N for Not a Fan of Mitt!!])

I hear there's been a surge by a dark horse candidate named Ernest Puppy. And his good looks and charm make him a shoo-in for New Hampshire.

My sissy and I are taking our anger out on a different kind of ape (who do you think we're pretending he is as we tear him limb from limb? And Republicans, it is just HEIGHTENED INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES so it's totally cool):

But then my ma ape told me a story about the Iowa caucuses that made me pass out. It completely undermined my entire world view, my belief system, everything I thought I knew and cherished:

My ma ape was a registered Republican. For three hours. During the Iowa caucuses of 1996. The horror! The horror!

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Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Drooling in the New Year

I am just about over my New Year's Hangover. So far I have not been sent any embarrassing photos of me with a lampshade on my head, humping a cat, etc. I do have one question, though.

Whose drool is all over my face?

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Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year's Dudes!

Here's me and my sissy sharing a New Year's smooch. It's just cuz she's my sissy and I'm obliged, really.

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Gott Nytt Ar!

Happy New Year to my Onkel Eric in Sverige! (Sweden!) He gets to the new year before I do. Since he is IN THE FUTURE I thought I would show him the future where we can walk on two feets!

Be afraid, be very afraid Onkel Eric! Your counters will never be safe again...

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New Year's Lovin'!

Warning: This post is not appropriate for young pups and/or those people who do those really perverted google searches and wind up on my blog.

Hmmmm..I wonder what my sissy's up to.

Hey sissy! Whatcha doing?

Hey--where'd Wally go?

What is he doing back there?

Oh no!

It takes a lot of concentration!

Still workin....

Ahhhh....a job well done.

But wait, does she need some more Wally Love?

Hey--where are you going, sissy! Come back! I wasn't done!

Sometimes a dog's gotta hump what a dog's gotta hump.

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Sunday, December 30, 2007




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Another burpdaaaay!

See this hot mama! This is my beautiful gal pal Ran-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! And it's her burpday!

And surely she needs some burpday smoocheroonies!
And that makes it not just Ran-day but Ran-week and since it is almost new year's that makes it RAN-YEAR!

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Diet Diary: Day Two

The diet continues. See how happy I am?

I am so hungry I have been reduced to eating grass!

This morning I ate so much grass I barfed two times. I asked my ma ape if I developed an eating disorder if she'd give me more food. She rolled her eyes at me.

So I'm working out. Some jumping.

And jogging.

I hope I don't pass out from the hunger.

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