Saturday, August 26, 2006

dogs as art

here's a story about how picasso was inspired by dogs, in particular his little dachshund lump (rascal in german). short legged dogs are indeed inspirational.

many of my favorite artists are inspired by their dogs. not surprising, we really are nature's art.

groundhog day

how much wally would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wally? we found out this morning when ethel and i went out for our morning constitutional. a groundhog was in the corner of the yard, probably feasting on pears that fell off our tree (welfare queen!) and he could not find his way out when we charged. he was at least 200 pounds, i'd say, with teeth a good 6 inches long. and the claws, oh the lethal claws. ethel dragged him away from the little hole in the fence and penned him to the ground. he was ferocious (see picture) and i got a small bite inside my mouth, gotten from protecting my sister ethel who surely would have been consumed alive. unfortunately, thanks to some naked ape intervention the mad groundhog got away to terrorize others. naked apes are so ungrateful when we save their butts.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

pitch to rozier!

this article in the new york times explains why the hooskers are starting our their schedule playing community colleges. apparently the 12-game season is taxing for good teams and a cash cow for bad teams who get booked to play big programs.

what you need to know from this article: 1) this quote: “I don’t think it’s realistic to say we’re going to play Nebraska, Florida State and U.S.C. every year,” said John Chadima, Wisconsin’s associate athletic director, lumps together my hooskers with other powerhouses and 2) the picture is Turner Gill, otherwise known as the hoosker qb who almost won a national championship, later nu qb coach who coached eric crouch to a heisman. and then things didn't work out so well for eric or turner. but never mind that. he coaches the buffalo bulls now.

i can't WAIT for football season to start. especially the part where i steal the bag of baby carrots from the table while everyone else is celebrated the latest hoosker td. not that i've ever done that.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

not incriminating photos

in spite of these pictures taken on sunday afternoon after a long morning at the park, i am not the recent recipient of a prescription for medicinal marijuana. my back has been a little sore though, doc. and i already have the munchies.

so you have a nazi past...

as an avid consumer of literature (i prefer non-bleached paper, easier on the belly), i was surprised to hear the news that guenter grass did some time in the ss when he was a teenager. some other literary luminaries (or not) have also weighed in including john irving. and christopher hitchens who is, as usual, quite snotty and mean for someone who has both questionable political commitments and has never written anything of slight literary merit. but i digress. i enjoyed the tin drum, perhaps drawn to a story of a diminutive boy who refuses to grow up and lives in an amoral vacuum. never read dog years, though the title is promising. i'm neither shocked nor appalled in spite of the pearl clutching about grass's subsequent leftist politics and his continual childing about retaining a collective memory of the nazi era. i'm only surprised he took so long to admit it though it probably would have meant no nobel prize. i'm not privy to these interesting emotions like "guilt" that plagues you naked apes. attention seeking, yes. but we dogs rarely do things that so shock the conscience that it bothers us for more than a few seconds.

i did stumble across this editorial by grass just before the iraq war. he ended with a quote from a german poet: "Alas, it is war, and I don't wish to carry the guilt for it."

a day in the life

here is an action sequence: wally at the park

Monday, August 21, 2006

crackin' the top 20!

look who's movin' on up to number 20!

Week 1 AP Top 25
1. Ohio State (35) 0-0 1,558
2. Notre Dame (10) 0-0 1,470
3. Texas (8) 0-0 1,411
4. Auburn (3) 0-0 1,395
5. West Virginia (6) 0-0 1,354
6. USC (3) 0-0 1,345
7. Florida 0-0 1,178
8. LSU 0-0 1,144
9. California 0-0 975
10. Oklahoma 0-0 960
11. Florida State 0-0 949
12. Miami (FL) 0-0 893
13. Louisville 0-0 844
14. Michigan 0-0 824
15. Georgia 0-0 743
16. Iowa 0-0 720
17. Virginia Tech 0-0 614
18. Clemson 0-0 479
19. Penn State 0-0 386
20. Nebraska 0-0 332
21. Oregon 0-0 324
22. TCU 0-0 257
23. Tennessee 0-0 215
24. Arizona State 0-0 182
25. Texas Tech 0-0 181

no fat liver for you

my poor onkel eric (a chicagoan) can no longer dine on foie gras. their city council has banned the ridiculous culinary treat.

my onkel is often jealous of my diet which, including my dog food which is roughly the same price as gold per ounce, i also get lox, shrimps, sweet taters, bananas, mapples, eggs, chicken, and salmon with some regularity. but don't worry, onkel eric, i've never eaten force-fed goose liver.