Calling all Pizzle Hunters!

Ever since I saw this story about what might be the world's tallest bull I've been thinking pizzle.

But to tackle this dude I need some help. Ike? GooberStan? Do you have your pizzle huntin' tools handy? Peanut, we might need reinforcements!

As you can see I will need to change out of my Flying Nun costume:

What? Can't a dude hunt flying nuns?

A Wealth of Riches

My ma ape has been neglecting me. Fortunately I have friends to step it up! This week I got two unexpected and wonderful prezzies from two of my bestest buds.

First, Joe Stains sent me a package with Nebraska Notebooks in it so I can make lists of all the things I need and all my hot babes! Unfortunately the pictures didn't turn out so I will show you what i made lists of later. But Joe knows that I am not all literary giant and he also sent me TOYS. A big red squeaky bone and a REMOTE:

Joe knows I need to be in CONTROL of the teevee. I hope this remote has a "Hills" button.

And THEN I got something WONDERFUL from ERNEST:

Yes! A Wimsey! This is Mosley in Missouri! And he was abused and neglected and now he's been rescued and Ernest is helping with his vet bills. Mosley had skin problems and anemia and hypothyroidism and a bad case of A-holeyis Owneris. But now he's living large with his foster mama who is going to keep him forever.

Thanks dudes!

Storms!

We had nasty storms. My ma ape had to sleep on the floor with me she was so scared. And I got damp.


And then our power was out all day so I called FEMA to alert them to the IMPENDING DISASTER in our meatable eatable freezing box. They put me on hold. But just as I was about to have to eat all the contents of the freezing box the power came back on. Whew. I'm exhausted from this excitement.

Happy No Traitors Day!

We need to have a talk.


It's hard out here for a dog. And even harder when his ma ape is cheating on him, and his bloggy friends are supporting the CHEATING ENABLERS. But I know I alway have one ally in the "No More Dogs Wally's Ma Ape!" crusade. My granny:

So I am not celebrating Ma Ape Day until she apologizes AND does something extra nice (like that cake she's been promising us). Until then it's just you and me Granny (with an N for Nebraska!) So I'm on my way to Nebraska, Granny:

It may take me awhile, though, because I will have to check out all the pee-mails. And take lots of naps. And eat grass. But will you be able to resist this face when it gets to your doorstep? See the halo around my head?


And we will live happily ever after!


Happy Grannies are Not Traitors Day!