On the Seventh Day I Rest (Also the first, second, third...)

Yes, it is still Wally Week! And so it is Wally Sunday. In case you've forgotten why we must have Wally Week, here is a reminder of what I (and, by proxy, you) have to put up with:

I've been quite busy ensleeperating. As you can see, I turn into jello while I naperate.


And then it was time for BULLY STICKS!


This was an all day ordeal because I would chew for a few minutes and then bury my bully and then my baby brudder would find it and try to chew on it and ma ape would take it away from him and give it back to me. And I would chew for a few minutes, then bury it, then ... This was an all day ordeal.

And then here is a story about karma. Yesterday one of the dogs had a tug rope with knots on the end and the pup shook it and the knot hit the top of my ma ape's foot and now SHE has a knot on her foot!


Cheaters never prosper, ma ape. This is a reminder of the only kind of ensmoocherating you should be doing!
Ahhhh...Wally smooches. Now with bull pizzle breath!

Calling all Pizzle Hunters!

Ever since I saw this story about what might be the world's tallest bull I've been thinking pizzle.

But to tackle this dude I need some help. Ike? GooberStan? Do you have your pizzle huntin' tools handy? Peanut, we might need reinforcements!

As you can see I will need to change out of my Flying Nun costume:

What? Can't a dude hunt flying nuns?

Pizzle Huntin'

I had been snackless for almost a week. No pizzle. So I decided to take matters into my own paws. It was time to put on my pizzle hunting outfit (courtesy of Gooberstan) and head out.


I even recruited an accomplice:


Our initial perusal of the lawn did not yield any bull sightings so I decided to try another tactic.

First I dug a hole.


Then I hid in the hole.


Then I set the bait--my sissy grazing on grass. Surely a bull would mistake her for a grazing cattles, right?



And was our mission successful?




Mission accomplished.


I can't tell you how I did it. It did involve some big, sad eyes and a ma ape with weakness for big headed dogs.


Tastes as good as if I'd caught it myself.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

My BPP (Bull Pizzle Pal) GooberStan sent his good pal WooberWally an invaluable tool--a BPHT (Bull Pizzle Hunting Tool). He sent one to my buddy buddy IKE (also a BPP)

Can you see it?????


Yes, it is a CLEVER DISGUISE to make me look like a COW. Ike blogs about it on his blog. Here's how he looks in HIS BPHT (he says his eyes are red from a trip to the vet but I think it might be pizzle lust).



Yes, I guess Ike's waist is about the size of my neck. I would use this opportunity to suggest it might be my pizzle (and NOT my belly chub) getting in the way but this is a family blog. A very profane family that is discussing bull penises but still a family.

Here are the directions that came with the tool:



In short, our job is to LOOK like cows so that curious bulls will approach us and when they go to seal the deal--CHOMP! Fresh pizzle!

What do you think?



Could I pass?
To help in my search I have been researching the cows using the google and here is what I have found:

1) Cattles have ONE stomach with FOUR compartments. I need one of those!
2) Cattles chew their cud which is regurgitated stuff. So when the ma ape goes to clean up my barf so I don't eat it I can say "Back off my cud, ape!"
3) Cattles emit a lot of methane gas which is stinky and polluting. I already do that.
4) Cattles can get Mad Cow Disease! I think my sissy has that.

I hope this strategy will pay off. Thank you GooberStan! You shall share in the bounty of my hunting!