MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
My BPP (Bull Pizzle Pal) GooberStan sent his good pal WooberWally an invaluable tool--a BPHT (Bull Pizzle Hunting Tool). He sent one to my buddy buddy IKE (also a BPP)
Can you see it?????
Yes, it is a CLEVER DISGUISE to make me look like a COW. Ike blogs about it on his blog. Here's how he looks in HIS BPHT (he says his eyes are red from a trip to the vet but I think it might be pizzle lust).
Yes, I guess Ike's waist is about the size of my neck. I would use this opportunity to suggest it might be my pizzle (and NOT my belly chub) getting in the way but this is a family blog. A very profane family that is discussing bull penises but still a family.
Here are the directions that came with the tool:
In short, our job is to LOOK like cows so that curious bulls will approach us and when they go to seal the deal--CHOMP! Fresh pizzle!
What do you think?
Could I pass?
To help in my search I have been researching the cows using the google and here is what I have found:
1) Cattles have ONE stomach with FOUR compartments. I need one of those!
2) Cattles chew their cud which is regurgitated stuff. So when the ma ape goes to clean up my barf so I don't eat it I can say "Back off my cud, ape!"
3) Cattles emit a lot of methane gas which is stinky and polluting. I already do that.
4) Cattles can get Mad Cow Disease! I think my sissy has that.
I hope this strategy will pay off. Thank you GooberStan! You shall share in the bounty of my hunting!
Labels: animals, cows, dogs that blog, food, hunting, pizzle, Wally
18 Comments:
Oh Wally, impersonating a COW!!!! I can see the poo rolling, but IMPERSONATING A COW!!!! What are we going to do with you?
Oh, did it work?
Bussie Kissies
Buster
Woober Boy!
I am pleased you like the BPHT. One question, though. Why all the photos of she-cows on your post and not ONE photo of you? I thought you would have at least modelled the BPHT for everyone. (I guess you don't want to give away your bull pizzle hunting strategy to any web surfing bulls out there).
Just a minute, Wally. My girl wants a word with me ... Ohhhhhhhhh. (*lightbulb comes on*)
My girl just informed me that you ARE on that post modeling your BPHT. I just couldn't see you for the disguise. You wear it well, my friend.
Can't wait to share in the spoils of your bull pizzle exploits!
Happy Hunting!
Your gooberish BPP,
Stanley
Hey Wally,
You have been nominated for Photo of the Month over at the Bone Zone - head on over and cast your vote :-)
Love
Opy
Wally,
What a plan..I don't think I would be bwave enough, but I'm suwe I would do the wolling in the cow pie bit, heheheh
you look gweat in that impewsonating scawf..good luck..let us know how it wowks out
smoochie kisses
Asta
Oh my goodness. I need to try a pizzle stick! Wally, you and Stanley and Ike are cute, manly, and I bet you are so good at your disguises that you fool all of those bulls into ... surrendering their pizzles.
Wally:
I think your buddy Stan is on to something here. You and Ike could pass for cows anyday with those BPHTs. I worry about Ike's red eyes though. I am sure Peanut has mentioned my interest in ALIENS. Enough said. As always you are a darling.
Peanut and Flash's Grammie
Hi Wally.
I hope the plan works!
Have a good night
Lorenza
That plan sounds ingenius--let us know how it works-- i bet Ruby Bleu would love to test it out too.
Bernard
OMDog. I think that was the funniest post EVER. If I wore underwear then I would have wet them laughing.
Thrawn
OMD Hilarious!!! You guys are gonna have to keep us updated on how the BPHT goes!
woofs, Casper
Wally - you are soooooooooo funny! A Cow Impersonator, what a blast! Not a methane gas blast I hope though!
I have made inroads on the newish carpet overnight, more stains than you can throw a stick at!
ha ha ha! Feeling a wee bit queasy though, so not up to cow impersonations today, love and poorly licks, Marv xxxxx
you totally could pass for a cow and if you do and that cow is filled with cheese you better mail me some
That first pic made me splatter coffee on the screen!
ROFLMAO!
I think those cows might be jealous because you are better looking than them.
frenchie snorts
Balboa
Oh Wally, you DEFINITELY pass the test!!!!! You look way better than those wet nose cows. Hehehe!
Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer
Hey Wally I could hardly tell the difference between you and the cow...amazing how the tool works!!! That Stanny, he's on to something. Maybe he should start a business????
Good luck with the hunt!
Lots of Licks, Ruby
Hey Wally,
I think Stanley's really smart. he actually gave you instructions?? LOL!!
Good luck with your HUNTING. I hope the female cows don't get all excited over you.
You are going to be able to catch so many pizzles you will have to share them with more then just ike and stanley.
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