momblogging

my good pal buster has started a new trend--momblogging! pictures of the naked apes we know and love. this is my mawma and my onkel eric. i think it's halloween but they're kind of weird so you never know.

visitors!

my granny and gramps are coming to visit their favorite grandchild! let the spoiling begin!

sometimes they bite back

in light of the spate of recent stories of animals adversely affected by climate change i thought i would link to this story which raises hopes for the impending mammalian revolution. the sea lions in san francisco bay are bitin' mad:

(CBS) SAN FRANCISCO San Francisco's Aquatic Park Lagoon was closed for swimming due to reports of a sea lion repeatedly biting local swimmers, maritime officials said late Wednesday. Officials estimated at least 20 swimmers have been bitten since Monday, including 13 on Wednesday alone at the Lagoon, which hosts two swimming and rowing clubs and is a favorite spot for swimming along San Francisco’s northern waterfront.

we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! watch your toes, naked apes.

humanzees!

i read this link about recently uncovered plans of joe stalin who was attempting to create a superproletariat of humanzees.

listen to uncle joe's plan:

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

that sounds like me! in particular, the part about eating anything and everything.

bear insomnia, drunken elk!

the wildlife are going, um, wild!

bears in russia have been unable to hibernate because of warm temperatures! global warming has created roving bands of tired and cranky bears! oh no!

MOSCOW, Nov 15 (Reuters Life!) - Insomniac bears are roaming the forests of southwestern Siberia scaring local people as the weather stays too warm for the animals to fall into their usual winter slumber.

don't you love this bear cub? i think he looks like me.

and in sweden the elk are mean drunks!

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A drunken elk is terrorizing children at a school in southern Sweden.

"That could be the problem. We could be dealing with a boozy elk," Jan Caiman, a police officer in Molndal, told the national news agency TT.

The elk was probably eating fermented apples in a garden and had become inebriated, Caiman said

a mutt mystery

the last few days my mawma has found our water bowl flipped and the kitchen floor covered in water. it's a big bowl and nearly impossible to flip, especially with water in it, and at first she thought it was an accident. then she realized it only happened when i was in the kitchen and she thought maybe i was drinking in an unusual way because maybe my back was sore. but today, the fourth day in a row i've done this routine, she came out to the kitchen to find me with the bowl in my mouth, carrying it around.

so here's the question for all you canine detectives. why do you think i'm doing it? i'm an enigma and i'll never tell so let's speculate. is it attention seeking? boredom? my attempts to create a waterpark in my house? a hint to my mawma to clean?

paws off, perverts

slate's science columnist has written a column asking "Can humans mate with other animals."

highlights (lowlights?):

Last week, scientists announced that the human gene pool seems to include DNA from Neanderthals. That suggests that humans interbred with their primate cousins at some point before the Neanderthals went extinct about 30,000 years ago. Could we mate with other animals today?

Neanderthals weren't our ancestors' only dalliance with other primates. "Pre-humans" and "pre-chimpanzees" interbred and gave birth to hybrids millions of years ago. In the 1920s, Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin sent an animal-breeding expert to Africa in hopes of creating an army of half-man, half-monkey soldiers. Attempts both to inseminate women with monkey sperm and impregnate female chimpanzees with human sperm failed.

i say--keep your hands off me you damned dirty apes! you're not going to pollute down THIS dog's primo dna!

china's one pooch policy

a few months ago it was reported that the chinese government was seizing dogs in rural areas (or vigalantes were doing worse) because of a rabies outbreak. now in beijing they are adopting a one dog policy and a ban on large dogs. these are tough times for our chinese friends--and it's the year of the dog!

Last Tuesday, though, Beijing newspapers carried a notice about the new campaign, under way since October, concerning “pet dog management work.” It said households with too many dogs, or with big dogs, would have 10 days to relocate them. In essence, owners had 10 days to get rid of the dogs or the police would do it for them.

The note also promised to pay rewards to people who helped the police catch neighbors violating the dog rules.

Anxiety and outrage have quickly spread among dog owners. Several reported that the police were already apprehending large dogs in apartment compounds and had even entered individual apartments to seize some dogs. Web sites posted photographs of dogs crammed into holding pens at dingy city pounds. Another Internet posting warned that a slaughter of stray dogs and cats would begin next week.

bummer. some dog owners have suggested that this might be a part of the campaign to pretty Beijing up for the olympics. once again, dogs paying a price for human pageantry. i can't decide if it is more or less egregious than atlanta's policy of giving the homeless one way bus tickets out of town pre-summer games.

killing flies with hand grenades

just in case the nsa, dubya, or karl rove are reading my blog for signs of rebellion let me preface this by saying that i am not a member of alf or elf (nor have i ever watched alf for that matter). i happen to have a strong aversion to peta for their love of self-aggrandizing publicity stunts. however, i've been known to be a fan of animal rights, especially my right to be treated as good as and usually better than the naked apes around me (though i would like to advocate that if i have to be on a leash so too do the little rug rats). so i was a little worried when i read about h.r. 4239, the animal enterprise terrorism act. here it is in a nutshell (emphasis on the nut):

Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act - Rewrites federal criminal code provisions regarding animal enterprise terrorism to prohibit anyone from traveling in, or using the mail or any facility of, interstate or foreign commerce for the purpose of damaging or disrupting an animal enterprise and, in connection with such purpose: (1) intentionally damaging, disrupting, or causing the loss of property used by or owned in connection with such enterprise; (2) intentionally placing a person in reasonable fear of death or serious bodily injury to that person or a family member through threats, vandalism, property damage, trespass, harassment, or intimidation; or (3) conspiring or attempting to do so. Prescribes escalating penalties.

Authorizes restitution for: (1) the reasonable cost of repeating any experimentation that was interrupted or invalidated as a result of such offense; (2) the loss of food production or farm income reasonably attributable to such offense; and (3) any other economic damage, including any losses or costs caused by economic disruption, resulting from such offense.

some of the response has been a little hysterical but does raise some valid concerns. here's the thing. 1) it is already a crime to destroy someone else's property and/or intimidate or threaten people. folks who cross this line have been successfully prosecuted and punished for these acts. 2) the language of terrorism is incredibly loaded here and applied to a wide range of activities 3) the scope and ambiguity of the law is potentially problematic. "disruption" and "damage" are defined as anything causing "losses or increased costs." it does not specify the actual destruction of property but any action that leads to a financial loss for a business 4) for example, the law makes little distinction between trespassers who are on property in a peaceful protest and those who are there to steal animals or destroy property--the line between lawful speech and unlawful action is blurred 5) why extend such extensive protection to certain industries, insulating them from fiduciary harm caused by political action? protecting medical research, important. insulting the meat industrial complex from any critique? maybe not. 6) laws targeting conspiracy are notoriously dangerous because the term is vague and ill-defined and often blurs the line between thinking and doing.

by the way, this was passed in the senate with absolutely no debate.

doggone art!

the houston museum of art is having a display of dogs in art! (not dogs AS art or i'm sure i would have been invited.)

hooooooooooooooooskers!

it was a soggy weekend and so nice to sit inside and watch some football. after beating texas a&m my hooskers have made it to the big 12 championship game! woo woo! i will have another occasion to wear my lovely oersonalized jersey. the return of the democrats AND the huskers--everything's comin' up wallies.

what breed are you?

my friend buster posted this online quiz to find out what kind of popular dog you are. i already know what i am--the one and only corgador--but i took it anyway. the results are, um, odd.

i'm apparently a bulldog. (so i could be your girlfriend, dudley?) i like that it calls me a stud. my sister is MAD that it called her a pomeranian (hehe!) my mawma was a greyhound! she doesn't look ANYTHING like a greyhound.

herdin' on a sunday

sometimes my mawma is naughty and lets me off the leash to chase the geese (they're mean bastards. it's chase or be chased.)


here i am, stalking, waiting, watching.


and off i go!

terrified, they rush to the water. do they know i can swim?


cleaning up the rest of the beasts.

a soggy sunday

in spite of impending storm clouds we made it to the b-a-r-k-p-a-r-k. here's me and my sister ethel playing. we're easily confused since we are both so svelte and long-legged but she's the one with the pointy ears.
ethel, always with the ball.


here she jumps in the lake after he ball. brrrrrrr.


here i am posing in the woods.

the business end of wally.