Saturday, March 17, 2007

Erin Go Burp!

Happy Paddy's Day to my friends, Irish and Otherwise! It was a terrible day here after Friday's sleet and snow which today has turned to an icy disgusting sludge. Ick! So we had to stay inside and amuse ourselves.

My sis cracked into the cans of Guinness early and often.

I put on my green Ireland shirt. Look! My Irish Eye Is Smiling!

I hit the Guinness a little hard and I'm starting to get tipsy and...

Yup, three sheets to the wind! I've lost the shirt off my back and I'm loaded.

I met my love on dogs with blogs
Ate some snacks from the old food bowl
Kissed my share of wrinkly dogs
Dirty old doooooooooogg, dirty old dog!

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Friday, March 16, 2007

It's an honor just to be nominated...

Woooo! My good pal Buster who is on hiatus from his blog 'cuz he's a busy guy took the time to nominate me for Blog of the Month over at Dogs with Blogs. I'm in great company with Boo's boo Chiyo, Hana the Eskie, my pal Nanook the Newfie, and Martha the Boston.

Thanks for the nod, Buster! I'll try to not let it go to my head but I WILL celebrate with more Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream Ice Cream.

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Wally's World Continued


friday's corgadors

I have been neglecting my fellow corgadors so to cheer myself up I thought I'd find some funny looking corgadors (broadly defined!) available on Petfinder! Don't forget to adopt them.

Meet Amelia.

She is a corgi/rottenweiler mix! Look how broad and short she is.
This is Zoro. She LOOKS like my sis and I had a baby but we didn't--you perverts!

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I'm not a big fan of the basketball since it is a sport of the long-legged but I've been winning in my house in my bracket. Only three of my teams have lost so far. I picked Memphis and Kansass for the final and KANSASS for the WIN. I'm so excited I'm typing like the Doofus. Go KANSASS!


Complaint Box

Wait a minute. It's spring, I've waited SO LONG for the warm weather and now. Rain. And cold. This is not fair. Not one bit.

Look how sad and forlorn and wet I look!

Even Ethel is down.

And I have to do extra spring cleaning.

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Strange Bedfellows.

Look! A pig adopted some goddamn cats--tigers! The cats' mum abandoned them (and who wouldn't? they're goddamn cats!). I guess it is no stranger than the naked apes who keep cats in the house, right? I mean cats poop IN the HOUSE. Sheesh.


Mouth-to-Mouth with a Boodog

Not the end for CPR.

Yup, a boo-dog is in the news--man saves dog with mouth to mouth:

CHICAGO (Reuters) - If a dog is man's best friend, a disabled U.S. Air Force veteran showed the feeling is mutual by saving his drowning pet with mouth-to-snout resuscitation and CPR. Lucy, a 10-month-old English bulldog, chased ducks into a partly frozen lake near Randy Gurchin's home in Papillion, Nebraska, but quickly became paralyzed in the icy water and briefly went under.The 50-pound (23-kg) dog was unresponsive and had a blue face and bloody foam around its muzzle when Gurchin edged onto the ice. But Gurchin, 51, put his military first-aid training to use. He closed Lucy's mouth, put his mouth over her nose and started forcing air into her lungs and pushing on her chest.

Studly Dudley, I'd give boo-to-boo resuscitation. Preventive, even.


The Art of the Roll

Best performed on a bed of goose poop for maximal stink-enhancement. Needs no commentary:

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

longer days and longer naps

I was a little unsure about this springing forward crap since it would mean a.m. walks in the dark and potentially cutting short my sleep time. This is a problem for me because I get up EARLY so that I can get my first nap in before 6 a.m. But I have found an added advantage--park time after work! (The apes' work, not mine. I'm retired).

My sister, of course, uses her time to chase balls. Always with the tennis balls, that one.

The creepy buzzards like to watch us play.

Even I get into the fetching game! I even played one of my favorite games with my sister--tail pulling! She tries to chase the ball and I try to stop her by pulling her tail and chasing her. Good times had by all. Or at least me.

Aaaand, a little cooling off in the melted snow.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Mad Dog

Here's an interesting story about the Canine Behavioral Genetics Project that is attempting to locate genetic sources of mental illness in dogs. I want to send my crazy sister to get studied! Granted, I'm the one who had the bout with separation anxiety who got put on Pupzac and wigged out when I couldn't see my mawma--even if she was in the shower and I was on the other side of the curtain! A little codependence never hurt anyone (except me when I jumped out of the window to find my missing ma!) But still, Ethel's the crazy one. My madness is connected to my genius. The study sure sounds interesting, though.

Hamilton believes that dogs are natural models for the study of human mental illness, as there are clear parallels between the species. Veterinarians say they see dogs with anxiety and panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, separation anxiety, and phobias, all disorders that humans also suffer from. In dogs, these behavior disorders can be observed and measured easily. "When humans are anxious, there's a stereotypical constellation of symptoms — they're tremulous, they pace, they're withdrawn, they have an elevated heart rate," Hamilton says. "Dogs have similar symptoms that you can observe — they pant, salivate, defecate."

Still, why not cut to the chase and look for the genetic component of these disorders in humans? The answer has everything to do with the legendary zeal of dog fanciers, who have, over many generations, created well-defined breeds with very distinct genetic profiles. "Dogs are the grand genetics experiment that humans have carried out for the past 10,000 years," Hamilton says.

In addition to learning to treat canines they think it will have ramifications for the naked apes because of your similar biology (meaning your brains are like ours but inferior!) Maybe they will come up with a treatment for naked apes who have canine alter egos? Not that I know anyone who does that.


Monday, March 12, 2007

granny and the guacamole revolution!

Caption: Bush extends his hand to a Guatemalan woman saying "Here's what's left of my political capital. Please take care of it."

As I mentioned before, my granny and gramps are visiting Guacamole coincidentally at the same time as El Presidente Bush. The Bush is promoting free trade in the region which is wildly popular, as you might imagine:

Work starts early for the people of the Guatemalan countryside, sometimes as early as 5 or 6. Not the time, the age. Guatemalan children shine shoes and make bricks. They cut cane and mop floors. At some factories exporting to the United States, they sew and sort and chop, often in conditions so onerous they violate even Guatemala’s very loose labor laws.

As with the other countries he's visited in Latin America, Bush has faced large protests:

Reporters traveling with the president were told to stay within two blocks of their hotel, because the security situation “deteriorates” beyond its immediate perimeter.

I am a bit concerned for my granny because I suspect that she might get caught up in the political ferment and accidentally be involved in a coup that will install me as Supreme Leader of the Guacamoleans. Stay tuned for more news of the revolution. I promise to share the fruits of our labor more fairly. Except for the bananas. I get all of the bananas.

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What's up, Doc?

A couple of weekends ago my real-life and blog-life friends Buko, Narra, and Jackson (friends in that when I first met him I tried to kill Buko and Narra is on notice and we haven't even tried with Jackson but I digress) cornered this guy who got trapped in their fence and died, frozen with rigor mortis and the cold. Read about it here. They created this piece as an art installment commenting on nature/nature and culture/nature interactions. I'd explain the complexities of their ideas to you but it is meant to invoke thought:

So someone in my house decided to get me a special snack in honor of the Art of the BNJ gang:

95% rabbit. The other 5%? Pure artistic jouissance.

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Take your dog to work!

The usually worthless business section of the NYT has a story about dogs at WORK and how much joy we can bring to the workplace.

In most places, though, the job is not so specifically defined. At Urbanspacedevelopment, a real estate design company in Philadelphia, it is the responsibility of the three resident pugs, Leo, Max and Lola, to “welcome clients and visitors, sit in on meetings (Leo in particular), rove around and give people needed breaks and otherwise play or sleep in the background,” Sam Shaaban, the company’s president, said in an e-mail. “They lighten the mood and offer themselves to stressed clients for caressing.”

In fact, they do that work so well that when the company redesigned its office space recently, “we made sure to include comfortable yet chic dog beds,” Mr. Shaaban said.

I've gone to work with mum and her work is BO-RING! Plus her heater breaks and floods all the time so her office is stinky. And there's no couch and she doesn't keep bones in her drawers. I'd rather she didn't go to work at all (not that I'm convinced she does work while at work, case in point this blog) but if she has to at least they should design a comfortable Wally-environment with plenty of napping couches, tasty snacks, and ABBA piped in for my aural enjoyment.


Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Wild Dog's Diet

With my mawma out of town it meant we were forced to revert to our feral ways and find ways to feed ourselves (like begging from the other ape in the house). So here are some foods we were forced to forage for/hunt for ourselves. This is a warning for those with weak stomachs, these are pictures of nature red in tooth and claw, at its most brutal when the predator stalks and kills its prey.

Look! New Beer! With dogs on it! In spite of this the apes say this beer is NOT for ME. Alas. I must look for sustenance elsewhere.

These are the elusive "Wawa sandwiches" which are known to be deadly to apes as they can immediately solidify arteries with cholesterol clogging goodness. They must be stalked carefully during the rare hours in the morning when the workers put them out. Then you have to put in the hard work which is giving sad eyes until an ape will go into the store to buy you one because goddamn speciesist employees who insist dogs are a violation of some silly "health code." Whatever. Just because I would get on the counter and eat sandwiches directly off the display does not mean I am not sanitary.

Here I am stalking the beast known as "The Pizza." I wait, silently, filling my salivary glands and focusing on the cheesy goodness. And then....

I spring into action snatching my prey from the hands of the ape! The pizza is MINE.

My mum was wondering why I was a big sluggish acting this morning. Now she knows--a belly full of junk food! She should go away more often!

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wally's back!

Wally's back and he's gonna blog about snacks! My editor ape is back from Vegas with her dignity and bank account in tact. In other words--what a BORE! In addition, her luggage was lost in transit across the country which meant--no Wally presents??? Frankly, I'm amazed I let her back in the house.