Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Wild Dog's Diet

With my mawma out of town it meant we were forced to revert to our feral ways and find ways to feed ourselves (like begging from the other ape in the house). So here are some foods we were forced to forage for/hunt for ourselves. This is a warning for those with weak stomachs, these are pictures of nature red in tooth and claw, at its most brutal when the predator stalks and kills its prey.


Look! New Beer! With dogs on it! In spite of this the apes say this beer is NOT for ME. Alas. I must look for sustenance elsewhere.


These are the elusive "Wawa sandwiches" which are known to be deadly to apes as they can immediately solidify arteries with cholesterol clogging goodness. They must be stalked carefully during the rare hours in the morning when the workers put them out. Then you have to put in the hard work which is giving sad eyes until an ape will go into the store to buy you one because goddamn speciesist employees who insist dogs are a violation of some silly "health code." Whatever. Just because I would get on the counter and eat sandwiches directly off the display does not mean I am not sanitary.


Here I am stalking the beast known as "The Pizza." I wait, silently, filling my salivary glands and focusing on the cheesy goodness. And then....

I spring into action snatching my prey from the hands of the ape! The pizza is MINE.

My mum was wondering why I was a big sluggish acting this morning. Now she knows--a belly full of junk food! She should go away more often!

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12 Comments:

Blogger Sophie Brador said...

That's some crazy lookin' beer, Wally. Have you thought of starting your own micro brewery? Just think, you could call it Wally Water, or Corgador Cream Ale. I can be your marketing manager and head taster. You let me know when you need us to fly out to help you launch this little venture. We'll even bring you Montreal Smoked Meat, Quebec cheese, and Croissants, all healthy alternatives to pizza and Wawa burgers.

6:29 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

My dad loves that beer, he has tried all the flying dog kinds!

As for that food, I was excited that I got squash today, not anymore!

7:05 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

Oh pizza. That is good. My humans had pizza this weekend (except for mom because she's trying to lose weight) and I didn't get any can you beleive that? Hey where do you get that beer. It looks like something my dad might like.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Buko, Narra, and Jackson said...

Hey, Wally!
Looks like you had a very productive and delicious weekend! Who needs that primordial stuff when the modern hunt is so much more satisfying? We'll add that beer to our "must try" list!

BJN

9:20 PM  
Blogger You Can Make It If You Try said...

You are truly a noble beast.

11:55 PM  
Blogger Charlie said...

Yummmmeeee!! What a great time you had!
- Charlie

12:41 AM  
Blogger Studly Dudley said...

Beer, breakfast sandwiches and pizza.. Wally, you sure are the 21st century dog. I'm jealous of you! But it seems like we both had wild weekends because Mum went away, too. Except I didn't get nearly the same amount of spoiling that you did.. BAH. Remind me to stage a doggy sleepover next time.

1:22 AM  
Blogger Fu Fu said...

Hey Wally, cool that you gotta eat those yummy food. heee I wish I get to try Pizza.

~ fufu

2:04 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

OMG you got a whole slice all to yourself???!!! I only get some piddly crusts! Let me know when your apes go away again and I'll be over!

Love ya lots,
Maggie

7:06 AM  
Blogger PiratesGrrl said...

Score! Pizza, our favorite!

The Brat Pack

7:43 AM  
Blogger Cubby said...

I love the pizza! I got a piece off the counter at Dude's house once...mmmmm

5:14 PM  
Blogger Butchy & Snickers said...

Hey Wally,
Great photo of you with the pizza in the face, hehehehe! Bet that was very yummy indeed. It was probably the crust that made you sluggish. Something to do with the yeast. Glad you enjoyed yourself though.
Luv & Wirey Hugs!
Butchy & Snickers

7:24 PM  

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