Wednesday, April 26, 2006

no longer the alpha apes?

in the news today--a chimp in sierra leone attacked a group of tourists, killing one and injuring the others. could this be the start of the hairy ape rebellion, spelling an end to the naked ape's reign of terror?

i'm not sharing my bananas.

a worthwhile beauty contest

hannah the bulldog won a most beautiful bulldog contest in iowa. i'm a little skeptical anyone in iowa is qualified to judge beauty but hannah looks awfully pretty to me but then i'm partial to squat and jowly dogs, not unlike myself.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

billboard sheeps

the new york times has a story on advertising placed on sheeps in the netherlands.

what a disgusting commodification of nature. (p.s. this space for rent).

Monday, April 24, 2006


it's national scoop the poop week! time to celebrate the finer things in life.

my cheatin' mawma

last week i let my mawma go to chicago WITHOUT me, trusting that she was just going to hang out with her fellow primatologists who study man, the political ape. and a political science conference is no place for a dog, too much pathos. she came home with some unusual smells including my onkel eric, my good pals glenn and amy, and a yet unidentified pit bull whom i have linked with this web site. his slobber was found all over my mawma. to make up for it she'd better invite the naked apes to visit ME. stanley the pit bull is NOT invited. he might steal my bully sticks.

life in the slow lane

i recently joined the slow living movement, not necessarily by choice. it seems my heart is a flutter, with age more than with love (though I am awfully fond of myself). so, i'm retired from the dog park which will probably devolve into a nasty and brutish place without me to keep the other dogs in line. now i spend my weekends taking leisurely constitutionals with my mawma around the park. halfway through our walk i get a bully stick for my efforts and we watch the dogs play from a safe distance across the lake. it's not a bad life for an old dog.

here i am with the budweiser clydesdales (seriously) who spend the off-season at the equestrian center in my park. frankly, i prefer spuds mackenzie as a beer pitchman (though I hear rumors spuds was of the female persuasion) but the horses aren't bad and they make some new powerful stinky smells for me to enjoy.

it's a dog's life.

me and my heart.

i recently made a trip to the ole cardiologist who confirmed what i have long known--my heart is just too big. so, i have to cut back on lovin'. i have made a list for those of you for whom my love will have to be reduced.

things i will have to love a little less: greenies, britney spears, chocolate labs, the dog park, goddamn cats, rampagin', wasabi peas.

things for which my love remains undiminished: wally, bananas, ethel, mawma, lox, abba, wallace & gromit, bully sticks, walkin', squeakies, sweet potatoes, granny, babe (pig in the city), onkel eric, mister jay, eggs, naps, apples, cornhuskers.

i'm back.

lookout goddamn cats, bushes, and damnations. wally's back adn ready to blog.