Saturday, June 14, 2008

Stand By Your Ape

My ma ape woke up this morning feeling woobly, ran 3 miles on her 'mill feeling disgusting and finally decided to tank her run. But she STILL WENT to the SPCA to CHEAT on ME! As her coach and sweetest sweet pea, I do not approve with this training plan.

Here are some dogs she met when she could have been cared for by Dr. Wally T. Corgador, M.D.

Midnight is an Aussie Shepherd (mix) in serious need of a day at the spa. She's totes low key. She was living with some old folks who had to go to a home and couldn't take her. Bummers.

Check out Caesar! He is a Rottweiler or, as I prefer to think of them, a half-Sherman. My ma ape loved his big head.

He was also a bit goofy. He's a nice puppy but I prefer the Shermanator. I need a nice LOW KEY friend right now. No more mad men, please.

This is Gisele Munchin'. She likes to bounce. She also had astronomical poo production, according to my ma ape. She likes playing and kissing.

And then you probably remember THIS dude. Big Red (as my ma ape calls him).

He was almost my baby brudder but he plays a little rough and is at least 65 pounds of muscle.

Although the real reason I wouldn't let them get him is because my ma ape is a dirty trollop! And he enables her all flopping in her lap and giving smoocheroonies and offering up his tum. What a floozy! (That goes for both of 'em).

So when my ma ape was all kissin' up to me and wanting me to come rest with her because she still felt all icky and gross. I said NO NO NO:

But I always give in in the end. So we took a nap and when she woke up my ma ape felt like she'd been in a boxing match but no more sour tum! You're welcome, from Dr. Wally.

Where do I send the bill? Cash or chicken backs only, please.

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Friday, June 13, 2008

The Three Musketeers.

My baby brudder Oscar is a teenager which means he has a lot of pent up energy and very little impulse control. So he's supposed to be resting his neutered/spayed/cryptorchid gut but he wants to play. So my ma ape decided to tempt fate and let him play a little bit today. Yay! That means a trip to the field!

And we're off! (Who wants to pull me in a wagon?)

Ahhhh. Relaxing in the shade. Oscar needs some maxing and re-laxing lessons.

Like so many teenage dudes, my baby brudder has nothin on his mind but chasing girls. My sissy, in particular:

And lets his tongue hang out in a decidedly doofus manner:

Also he could take some handsome lessons from me:

On the way home I played flat basset:

And the O-Man joined in. Baby brudder with big brudder:

And when we got home the baby and the sissy conspired to play MORE:

He can fit her entire neck in his mouth. And she lets him.

But she makes him work to get there.

And Ethel does a wicket shark impression.

I'm tired just watching this crap.

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Not so high and dry

My ma ape went to college in Cedar Rapids, Iowa (in roughly the era of this poster) which is currently partially under water. Dry out, Coe College!

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

First Day!

Yesterday was Oscar Baby Brudder's first day of school! He had to go to obedience class. I know that class because I rocked it a couple of years ago. Star pupil. So I gave the dude some lessons--like the clicky thingy means snacks. So long as that's in the ape's hands, listen to what they say. Otherwise--ignore 'em.

Here's the baby in the backseat of the Mystique. His eyes are closed because he's concentrating, trying to remember what I told him.

Here he is in class showing his mad sitting skillz. He is in class with another dude from the SPCA, the dog formerly known as T-Bone. He was hit in the face with a shovel but now is named Jackson and lives with new peeps.

On the wise advice of some of my friends I did NOT teach Oscar my mad begging skillz.

But I did teach him the art of the bully stick. He looks decidedly doofus.

Still dorky, but better.

Here's where I show him how to chew with dignity.

Here he is with my sissy. Can you tell who is who? Um, the baby has to be on a leash or he rassles with sissy. Also, he has a different collar on because he chewed through his other one. No joke.

Eyes on your own paper, bud.

And don't even think about coming near the Diaboli-Wally's.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Pigs in Boots!

Cinders, short for Cinderella (of course), has mysophobia or fear of mud! Not good for a pig. So she wears wellies. You can watch here jet around in her booties here. Why? Because it is adorable.

Also, Cinders is now becoming a pet rather than sausage. I imagine we'll see a lot of pigs rooting through closets looking for wellies that fit them.

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

A Pair of Sights!

My baby brudder Oscar got to take his first trip to our regular V-E-T yesterday! My ma ape was a little worried because the staff at the SPCA was scared of Oscar because he growled and snapped when he was there. But Oscar was a total gent. Except for the fact that he wanted to play rasslin' with the visiting vet student. He passed with flying colors.

Um, except for one problem. See, we didn't realize that when we were adopting Oscar we were getting not ONE pet but about four--Oscar plus the three friends he was smuggling in his belly!
Yes, Oscar brought home a pair of sights. And he shared them with Ethel!

The V-E-T looked all our poops yesterday and found Oscar had three pair of sights and shared one with Ethel. Only ONE DOG had CLEAN POO. Yes, the corgador reigns supreme! The vet said they found three things under the microscope.

First was hookworm that looks like this when enlarged 1000X. It attaches itself to the dog's small intestine without an exit strategy:

Next was the wimpworm, I mean the whipworm, that causes diarrhea. Also called a Turd Blossom it looks like this under the microscope:

Finally is the worst one, the one that Oscar shared with Ethel, Gee Ardia. These little boogers hide out in an undisclosed location and are sometimes hard to detect and they stick around for a long time. It is almost too terrifying to look at under the microscope so make sure there are no kids around:

Fortunately both the boogers are on some pills to get rid of these bastards. I don't have to take any pills (but I do get to have some of the pill containers--CHEESE). Oscar has also had a microchip implanted in case he gets lost. (Private note to Grammie: See, he is One Of Us now!)

Meanwhile I have been making sure to maintain my health in the heat with a heaping helping of Frosty Paws. Ethel is a little uncertain:

But I dive in! My intestinal fortitude is what keeps the creepy crawlies out of my gut!

And here's a bit of food porn, a shot of our freezing box where the ma ape keeps the frosty paws. It's right by the door so when we come in from the heat we can cool off with homemade paws:

Stay cool, dudes!

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Monday, June 09, 2008

New Blog!

I let the cat out of the bag about my new blog! (That's a metaphorical cat--don't start chasing yet!). Yes, I've decided to have a blog dedicated just to paw-li-ticks! It is located here and all are welcome. If you are interested in doing a guest post explaining why YOU are Barking for Barack or if you have any good links or stories you think merit posting you can e-mail me at wallythecorgador at comcast dott net or leave me a comment.

See you at the voting booth!

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7 Things, 4 Dogs (ha!)

It is HOT and we are BORED so we decided to do this tag that has been going around. 7 questions! And I let Ethel, Oscar and even the ma ape play.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Wally: Top secret government stuff. Ok, Ok, I was an intern in the White House. Let us never speak of it again.
Ethel: 10 years? Who's that old? Oh right, WALLY!
Oscar: I'm barely 10 MONTHS!
Ma Ape: I did have an internship in D.C. Nothing illicit

2. What are 5 things on your to-do list today?
Wally: Monkey sticking, napping, work on my new blog (Oh!), snacking, check on my garden, watching FRANCE vs. ROMANIA in soccer--viva la France! Les Bleus!
Ethel: Chase some tennis balls, harass Oscar in his crate, show the junk in my trunk to Oscar, eat some chicken backs, turn my nose up at vegetables and fruitables
Oscar: Veeeeeettttt visit. Screaming! Playing! Escaping this crate! More walkies!
Ma Ape: Water the garden, take Oscar to the Vet, finish reading Bios, work on T&E paper, walk the dogs. Again

3. Which snacks do you enjoy?
Wally: Everything. Sushi, Wallymelon and Pineapples, wizzlers, buff-a-lo,
Ethel: All meatables but especially venison and rabbit, sweets, boneables, chicken backs
Oscar: Kongs with meaties! Wizzlers! Evo kibbles! I haven't gotten to try much yet!
Ma Ape: Avocado sushi, pineapple, berries, asparagus, coconut

4. What would you do if you became a billionaire?
Wally: Open a retirement home for old doggies with my Grammie on the West Coast and live large and in charge
Ethel: Buy the French Open and the U.S. Open and Wimbledon and make myself the official ball girl, make Wally and Oscar tennis ball suits and chase them
Oscar: Spring myself from this crate! Buy snacks! Chase Ethel!
Ma Ape: See Wally's answer.
5. What are three of your bad habits?
Wally: Barking at passersby, fence fighting with Robbie the cockapoo next door, sometimes being cranky with dogs and peoples
Ethel: Being cranky with other dogs, getting overly excited, being picky with my foodies
Oscar: Screeeeeeaming, knocking over the ma ape, lusting after Ethel
Ma Ape: Procrastination. I'll finish this list later.

6. Where are 5 places you have lived?
Wally: Seattle (the 98105!), Dela-where (two houses), Three Rivers Rescue in Snoqualmie, WA, I guess I lived on the road with my ma ape while we were moving across the country, and I stayed a few nights at my granNE's house so it is totally my house now
Ethel: Somewhere in Maryland, at the Queen Anne County Shelter, Delaware (two houses)
Oscar: at some dude's apartment, my crate, the SPCA, my Delaware house
Ma Ape: Nebraska, Iowa, Seattle, Belfast, Delaware

7. What are 5 jobs you have?
Wally: Guard Dog, Sweetest Sweet Pea in the Sweet Pea Patch, Professional Football Fan, the Rally Wally, Ma Ape Bodyguard, Professional Speed Eater
Ethel: Tennis Ball Retriever, Wally Bodyguard, Greyhound Impersonator, Oscar exerciser, Jezebel
Oscar: What? Aren't there child labor laws? I'm just a baby.
Ma Ape: Professional Professor, Clumsy Waitress, Unofficial Children's Librarian, Intrepid Journalist, Country Western DJ (for real!)

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Sunday, June 08, 2008

Talkin' 'Bout a HEAT WAVE!

We're having a heat wave! This is where we are now (look at Philly)--and we might make it to triple digits!

Oscar has already learned how to cool his belly and his jets (he's in front of the fan here):

I like to dig holes in the mud in the backyard to hide in. Also I find a nicely cooled chicken back--partially thawed--does wonders:

Yesterday my ma ape went to the SPCA and walked the dogs in the HEAT. Here she is with her favorite dude who is named Oscar but is not my baby brudder. My ma ape calls him BIG RED because he is big and red and loves my ma ape and she loves big red football and big red dogs. So there you go. (See my ma ape's sunburn! She is red like big red! That's taking your football fandom a little far, ma ape).

My ma ape also had to talk pawliticks with her pal Big Red (see she is on a leash! Ha!) She wore her Ernest tee for Big Red to consider.

He gave a hearty endorsement (if you look closely you can see he is licking Ernesto).

P.S. My ma ape didn't have another ape with her so these photos are taken MySpace style with her holding the camera AND giving scritches to Big Red. The quality is, ahem, less than stellar, ma ape!

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