oh, canada

dogs are generally not big fans of the winter olympics since, until they add competitive yellow snow making, we are basically shut out of the games. but i've fit in a little watching in between episodes of 'k-9 karma' and 'good eats.' i feel a tiny bit sorry for the ole canada whose national pride--such as it was--must have been completely wounded by their stinky showing in hockey. but, canada, you will always have hurling, even if you can't smash people into walls while doing it.

i'm also quite interested in hockey since it may be a sweden-russia final. i wonder, will my onkel eric side with his adopted country sweden or with his russian wife antie ira? i would be inclined to go with antie ira because she feeds me pastrami.

in the middle of the second semi-final match with finland leading 4-0 it appears much more likely to be a finland-sweden match. i understand there is a long and antagonistic rivalry there. you silly naked apes with your feuds. it's not serious stuff like dogs vs. goddamn cats or wally vs. rottweilers or nebraska vs. colorado.

as i contemplate my onkel eric's dilemma i am thinking of sports i propose ought to be added to the olympics:

1. the sprint from wherever you are to the kitchen when you hear the refrigerator door open
2. the squeakee pounce and shake contest (would this be scored based on the athleticism and ferocity of the kill or the artistry? i can't decide. but we won't let the french judge).
3. the napping sprint, the winner falls asleep the fastest in spite of conditions including noise, light, and being on top of mawma's bookbag.
4. my speciality--dinner snarfing. who can get to the bottom of the food bowl the fastest? this one isn't really fair since i'd go gold every time.
5. hurling, but hurling cats instead of stones down the ice.

dog love

my onkel eric has become a purveyor of pooch porn. well done, onkel eric.

dogs in the news

dogs are the topic of not one but two of the most e-mailed articles in the new york times today.

article one: c'mon pooch, get with the program about how upwardly mobile dog owners expect their dogs to adapt to new human-oriented environments and sometimes freak out about our dog-like behavior:

The problem, some dog experts suspect, is not that there are more bad dogs, only more demanding owners. People expect their dogs to cooperate with their busier lives — to behave at cocktail parties, at real estate open houses and in cafes and shops — and to respect their better-appointed homes. And in a culture that values achievement and excellence, they readily assume that dogs value the same things, especially when there are obstacle courses to master and social graces to display.

article two: a milk bone? humph! only truffles will do about a doggie bakery in manhattan. on the menu: coconut-coated carob-crunch truffles (a steal at $1.50 apiece) and the display case that holds the liver-cheese brownies (75 cents each) and the salmon crackers with seaweed and anchovy paste ($6.95 for a barker's dozen).

the lesson? stop taking us to goddamn obedience class and get me to the bakery!

post-birthday slump

here i am recovering from my burpday hangover with my weiner dog. my sister was so jealous she tore it up today. not cool ethel. every dog has its day. i just happen to have a few extra.

birthday bully

here i am enjoying a little much deserved birthday bullystick:

it's my BIRTHDAY

i'm three!

alternative poo-els.

dogs are great--even our poo is valuable! from the ap wires:


S.F. Examines Power of Dog Droppings

- - - - - - - - - - - -

By KIM CURTIS Associated Press Writer

February 21,2006 | SAN FRANCISCO -- City officials are hoping to harness the power of dog doo. San Franciscans already recycle more than 60 percent of their garbage, but in this dog-friendly town, animal feces make up nearly 4 percent of residential waste, or 6,500 tons a year -- nearly as much as disposable diapers, according to the city.

Within the next few months, Norcal Waste, a garbage hauling company that collects San Francisco's trash, will begin a pilot program under which it will use biodegradable bags and dog-waste carts to pick up droppings at a popular dog park.

The droppings will be tossed into a contraption called a methane digester, which is basically a tank in which bacteria feed on feces for weeks to create methane gas.

The methane could then be piped directly to a gas stove, heater, turbine or anything else powered by natural gas. It can also be used to generate electricity.