Friday, February 24, 2006

oh, canada

dogs are generally not big fans of the winter olympics since, until they add competitive yellow snow making, we are basically shut out of the games. but i've fit in a little watching in between episodes of 'k-9 karma' and 'good eats.' i feel a tiny bit sorry for the ole canada whose national pride--such as it was--must have been completely wounded by their stinky showing in hockey. but, canada, you will always have hurling, even if you can't smash people into walls while doing it.

i'm also quite interested in hockey since it may be a sweden-russia final. i wonder, will my onkel eric side with his adopted country sweden or with his russian wife antie ira? i would be inclined to go with antie ira because she feeds me pastrami.

in the middle of the second semi-final match with finland leading 4-0 it appears much more likely to be a finland-sweden match. i understand there is a long and antagonistic rivalry there. you silly naked apes with your feuds. it's not serious stuff like dogs vs. goddamn cats or wally vs. rottweilers or nebraska vs. colorado.

as i contemplate my onkel eric's dilemma i am thinking of sports i propose ought to be added to the olympics:

1. the sprint from wherever you are to the kitchen when you hear the refrigerator door open
2. the squeakee pounce and shake contest (would this be scored based on the athleticism and ferocity of the kill or the artistry? i can't decide. but we won't let the french judge).
3. the napping sprint, the winner falls asleep the fastest in spite of conditions including noise, light, and being on top of mawma's bookbag.
4. my speciality--dinner snarfing. who can get to the bottom of the food bowl the fastest? this one isn't really fair since i'd go gold every time.
5. hurling, but hurling cats instead of stones down the ice.

2 Comments:

Blogger mika said...

Wally, Wally, Wally. You need to get your sports straight. That ridiculous thing Canadians continue to excel at (beating Finland for the gold medal) is called curling. Hurling is something from across the Irish Sea: the oldest known human field sport, and the fastest and likely most dangerous at that. The Scots' curling, well, is boring and tedious, and I'm almost embarrassed Finland even participated.

Also -- although it's moot by now -- the thing for your domestic naked apes to know is that if your last name ends in "-sen," you are likely originally of Norwegian descent and should obviously root for Finland, in Nordic solidarity against Sweden.

I'm glad we had this little talk.

1:39 PM  
Blogger wally said...

that's not my understanding of hurling which is something i do in the middle of the night with great gusto, preferably on something valuable belonging to my naked apes. and, like the more violently inclined hurlers, i too am missing many of my teeth (probably non-hurling related).

and you're right, the canadians aren't good at hurling, they're better at choking!

and my antie ira lives in sweden (when she is not living in chicago or visiting me) and i root for her because she gives me pastrami. so, my rooting interests are purely rational. also, sweden has the prettiest unis.

2:02 PM  

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