Friday, January 13, 2006

go 'hawks

seahawks fans are nicer than you. so shut up, offensively named redskins.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

dog spots irony.

jonah goldberg's latest opinion piece in the washington examiner is called "the problem with feminism: narcissism." it begins as follows:

Let me just say up front this column contains a riot of conflicts of interest. My friend and colleague Kate O'Beirne has written a new book called "Women Who Make the World Worse." I think it's a great book and I truly would not say so if I thought otherwise. Also, O'Beirne praises my lovely wife as a woman who makes the world better - an opinion I could hardly quibble with save to say it's a grotesque understatement as far as I'm concerned.

he then goes on to detail his time as an undergrad at goucher college where he was man enough to not only befriend but to date feminists and from this he diagnoses the problems with feminists.

yes, it is feminists who have a problem with malignant self-love.

rampant anthropomorphism

ted kennedy is writing a new book pretending he is his dog! can you even believe it?

NEW YORK (Reuters) - U.S. Sen. Ted Kennedy is writing a children's book that will explain the workings of government from the point of view of his dog Splash.

Publisher Scholastic said "My Senator and Me: A Dog's-Eye View of Washington, D.C." was a 56-page picture book about a day in the life of a senator and his dog, explaining how laws are made. It will be published in May.

"Kids love animal stories and they will be captivated by the tale of Senator Kennedy's extraordinary Portuguese water dog, and his adventures in Congress," said Lisa Holton, President Children's Books and Book Fairs, Scholastic.

i don't trust you naked ape's ability to properly transcribe the inner workings of a canine mind so here's what Splash would really like to say:

ted sure was a lot more fun in the days when he got drunk and walked around without pants on. he used to make midnight snacks (munchie runs), then pass out and leave them on the table. ha! nonetheless it's not bad being a kennedy dog. i get my choice of boston bitches (that's not a sexist slur, man, being a female dog is not a bad thing. not a bad thing at all. better than being a repuglican for sure.) and, i'm not supposed to say this, but sometimes ted lets me whiz on ted stevens's seat in between sessions. ha! and at senate picnics i hump rick santorum's leg because the guy likes talking about bestiality a bit too much if you catch my drift. and i love to see him blush with a mixture of embarassment and excitement. throw the pathetic guy a bone. ha!

by the way, is anyone else surprised ted got a water spaniel? and named him splash? just sayin'.

Monday, January 09, 2006

dog saves naked ape. again.

and while goddamn cats are busy getting themselves lost, we're busy saving your babies. dog saves taiwanese newborn. i can't say that i myself would not have eaten the baby but well done, husky dog.

goddamn cats in the news.

like a venereal disease, cats always come back: cat that disappeared in 2004 tornado comes home. and this one rode down the jersey turnpike on the outside of an suv.

goddamn cats. they're hard to get rid of.

chicago, my kind of town

my onkel eric's home city was named fat city usa! last year it was also named dog city, usa! coincidence?