Thursday, January 12, 2006

rampant anthropomorphism

ted kennedy is writing a new book pretending he is his dog! can you even believe it?

NEW YORK (Reuters) - U.S. Sen. Ted Kennedy is writing a children's book that will explain the workings of government from the point of view of his dog Splash.

Publisher Scholastic said "My Senator and Me: A Dog's-Eye View of Washington, D.C." was a 56-page picture book about a day in the life of a senator and his dog, explaining how laws are made. It will be published in May.

"Kids love animal stories and they will be captivated by the tale of Senator Kennedy's extraordinary Portuguese water dog, and his adventures in Congress," said Lisa Holton, President Children's Books and Book Fairs, Scholastic.

i don't trust you naked ape's ability to properly transcribe the inner workings of a canine mind so here's what Splash would really like to say:

ted sure was a lot more fun in the days when he got drunk and walked around without pants on. he used to make midnight snacks (munchie runs), then pass out and leave them on the table. ha! nonetheless it's not bad being a kennedy dog. i get my choice of boston bitches (that's not a sexist slur, man, being a female dog is not a bad thing. not a bad thing at all. better than being a repuglican for sure.) and, i'm not supposed to say this, but sometimes ted lets me whiz on ted stevens's seat in between sessions. ha! and at senate picnics i hump rick santorum's leg because the guy likes talking about bestiality a bit too much if you catch my drift. and i love to see him blush with a mixture of embarassment and excitement. throw the pathetic guy a bone. ha!

by the way, is anyone else surprised ted got a water spaniel? and named him splash? just sayin'.


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