It's Friday the 13th and look what my ma found on me!
Yes--a vampire! A little bloodsucking beast attached itself to my cheek. It scared my ma and led to a thorough body check and vigorous belly-rubbin'. I think she was looking to see if I had any zombies or frankensteins hidden in there. I need more garlic to make me less attractive to the bloodsuckers, I guess.
I'm so embarassed. My sister is calling me tickhead and keeps telling me that while it was drinking my blood I probably didn't get enough oxygen to the brain and now I have brain damage. Takes one to know one, SISTER!
Yeah, I'm ticked.