Friday, September 22, 2006


i know i've done a corgador for the day but this guy--bosley from ct--was too much to pass up. i'd adopt him as my own were it not for the cruel tyranny of my naked apes.

corga-something for adoption

annie is a lovely lady in wilmington, delaware who is looking for a home. she looks suspiciously like a love child of me and my sister ethel. which she is not, you sicko. what do you think we are-iowans? (i crack myself up.) what she is is a dog who needs a home.

a picture is worth a thousand german philosophers

my onkel eric took this picture at a bookstore in chicago where the philosophy section containing authors beginning with "h" were marked off with caution tape. a very helpful warning. i often lose my mawma for hours when she gets hypnotized by big tomes with "hegel" on them. it's dangerous stuff. and the others---habermas, heidegger, husserl. rubbish, all of it. the only "h" you need is a hound. more wisdom is to be found in the experience of rubbing our bellies than in your books. i can find greater meaning in the master (me) - slave (naked ape) relationship than any long-winded german. i need to compile my insights in the phenomenology of pets, a dogology of everyday experience.

and my friend mr. glenn--i believe this is a special warning for your habermas lovin' self. get while the gettin's good.

dog tag!

i've been tagged by lulu. it's a the new thing amongst dog blogs, i guess. and it makes me contractually obligated to share five deep dark secrets about myself before going out and tagging five more dog blogs. it's sort of like one of those internet chain letters but with fewer viruses embedded. i'm a pretty open book so it's tough to find secrets but here it goes:

1. i have opposable thumbs. i keep this secret from my naked apes but they must be suspicious since i have in the past 1) opened a crate 2) opened latched windows 3) opened drawers when my breakfast was not adequate 4) done considerable counter-surfing in spite of my shortness, including opening up a tupperware container containing freshly baked vegan cookies (could have used some butter) 5) opened a latched door 6) once i combined all of these when i escaped from my crate in the basement, through the hook-latched basement door, up onto the kitchen counter, mooshing bananas in my wake, out the kitchen window by pushing out the window fan, dropping 6 feet, and walking down a heavily trafficked road looking for my mawma--all without a scratch on me. motivated by my next secret...

2. i have separation anxiety. real bad. i was on pupzac for awhile. your most powerful pharmaceutics did nothin'. the only cure? another dog to keep me company. dog bless my sisters morgan (rest in peace) and ethel (run in peace). this is also a great excuse for my mawma to be constantly trolling petfinder for companions for me.

3. i love abba. my favorite song is called wally-loo which i hear is about someone named napolean (though the title suggests it is about moi). i've been told i have a napolean complex so he must be a great guy.

4. sometimes i pee like a girl. yeah, i'm a big leg lifter but mine are sort and sometimes squatting is just easier. but, really, the whole standing and peeing thing is overrated anyway. how many marriages would be saved if husbands would just sit down and save the splatter?

5. i bring shame to my species but i secretly don't mind the goddamn cats. in fact, i kind of like them. yes, i love chasin' 'em but i really want to play. i had one cornered in the backyard once and instead of eating her, oh god, i did a play pose. the horror! i used to live with goddamn cats and my mawma teases me endlessly about my cat-like behavior like obsessive grooming, sleeping on the back of the couch, sprawling out in shafts of sunlight and my cat-like leaping style. i'm so ashamed. goddamn wally.

i'm off to tag.


these images were sent by my granny from her visit to Chicago. she is flaunting her infidelity. it appears she fell in love with this guy, stanley, who owns a friend of my onkel eric.

here he is begging for baby carrots like a common beggar. i thought you only shared snacks with ME?

i'm heartbroken, granny. and let's not even discuss my gramps feeding him brie. it's too much for my old heart to handle. you hussies will fall for any hound with silky fur and a slobbery tongue. how could you?

Sunday, September 17, 2006

adopt this corgador

hershey from new york is listed as a clumber spaniel/chocolate lab ix but he looks suspiciously like a corgador! they describe him as "mr. personality" which is a name that has been known to be applied to me at times. you know you want him (since you can't have me.)

dog parkin'

here's my photo essay : what i did at the park. just killin' time before the eagles whoop up on some wimpy i am strollin'.
here i am taking a break at the watering hole, cooling my belly and my jets. you can barely make out my lovely football kerchief.

here i am doing a fantastic job herding away the geese. look at that technique.

here i am enjoying a much deserved celebratory bully stick on the picnic table. as befits the king of the park.

the battle of the century (photo essay)

last night my nebraska hooskers played the university of spoiled children used condoms (hey, a usc fan mentioned their unfortunate name to me. i wouldn't stoop so low) . this is my photo essay of the game, from rapt attention to dejected sadness. it wasn't bad for a "rebuilding " husker team but featured some of the worst coaching ever. seriously, bill callahan must have been getting advice from goddamn cats or something. here i am watching the hoosker game with rapt attention. the fake punt play goes off brilliantly! a tricky treat!

the hooskers pull ahead 3-0. tasty.

my sister ethel loves her some cornhuskers, too. she is a fan of their speedy running back marlon lucky. she is worried about coaching decisions, though.

ethel pins her ears back when she worries. here she worries as the trojans go into the half up by 18 (huskers still beating the spread)!

i can't watch anymore, except to see the hoosker's td!

dejected sadness. the hoosker's number one fan must rest and recover for tomorrow the eagles play the giants. i will find solace in the fact that notre dame AND two florida teams lost.