Saturday, December 24, 2005

my sister is faster than you.

this story explains why my sister (part greyhound, part shepherd, all spaz) is faster than you lazy naked apes:

LONDON - Greyhounds are such superb runners because of their sleek style and ability to tackle tight bends without slowing down, British researchers said on Wednesday.

Unlike humans who have to reduce speed at a banked curve to cope with the increased gravitational and centripetal forces on their legs, greyhounds attack a bend without changing their stride.

“Greyhounds can cope with high forces as they go around the bend whereas humans cannot and they have to slow down a lot,” said Dr. James Usherwood, a zoologist and animal motion specialist at the Royal Veterinary College in England.

Horses, hares and greyhounds have about the same top speed at roughly 17 meters a second or about 37 miles per hour, nearly double the pace of humans, according to Usherwood.

eat her dust slowpokes.

dogs are couch potatoes, too

according to msnbc, pets like tv, too. but sometimes there's no accounting for taste--nascar?

Dogs also seem to enjoy programs about horses and Jack Russell Anja is no exception. She is also an avid NASCAR racing fan, and double checks her own front door every time someone knocks or rings the doorbell on a TV program.

in addition to football i watch emergency vets, reno 911 (i howl with sirens!), barking mad, and britney spears' e true hollywood story. what?

'tis the season for trash talking

not to toot my own horn but i think i could take down a wolverine any day.

also, i do have a good look for christmas, too. hope santa brings me something nice (in addition to my awesome new personalized jersey.) i've been naughty AND nice.

ready to go bowling!

huskers vs. wolverines. december 28th at 8 p.m. i'm ready.

i'm sure the huskers will fare as well as they did the last time they played a michigan team in the alamo bowl (17-3 thumping of michigan st.)

Thursday, December 22, 2005

i didn't do it

in spite of my love of penguins, and as much as i want want for christmas, i am not responsible for this. and who named the South African Jackass Penguin anyway?

LONDON, Dec. 22 -- Police ran down leads and the Royal Navy was on alert Thursday in the search for Toga, an 18-inch-tall baby penguin stolen from an Isle of Wight zoo Saturday night, creating a national soap opera rivaling Elton John's gay wedding for media coverage.
"We're all a bit ragged here, to say the least," said Kath Bright, manager of Amazon World Zoo Park, which has received nearly $13,000 in donations -- including $600 from the United States -- to offer as a reward for the safe return of the nine-pound South African Jackass Penguin.

my exciting day!

i haven't blogged in awhile. part of that is because i am very very busy. just take my very busy very exciting day yesterday:

9 a.m.: my good buddy frodo shows up at my house. rumor has it he is staying for a whole month! exciting times, especially since my little sister ethel appears quiet smitten by him, all 110 pounds of him.
9:30: ouch. my back starts to HURT and i can barely walk causing my mawma much anxiety and resulting in a good belly rub for me.
1:30: after napping my back hurts MORE and i do a little shaking. my mawma puts me in the car for a visit with my favorite vet, dr. jamie (i like dr. bob, too, but he's a washington state grad and i'm a husky fan all the way. except for the huskers, of course).
3:30: as always, i am greeted with fanfare at the vet. in spite of my theatrics at home, I won't whinge when they touch my back and i walk like a champ at the vet. the vet tech admires my bandana. after waiting, poking, x-rays, and more waiting, we discover i have a small problem in my back. not a big deal and i get rimadyl, a sweet sweet painkiller. dr. jamie gives it to me for free because i'm such a nice guy!
4:00: i'm back at home and my mawma leaves to get me some pepcid ac so my painkillers don't hurt my belly while soothing my aching bach.
some time between 4:15-4:45: one of us gets the rimadyl off the counter. we still won't tell who! one (or more of us) chomps down on the bottle until the pills come out. yum! frodo is an unlikely suspect because he doesn't do this kind of stuff. and also, he is lazy.
5p.m.: mawma comes home and feeds us. after we eat she discovers the chewed up bottle of pain relievers. back to the vet! my back feels so much better i hop into the front seat at the first stop light, mawma makes a mental note "get wally a seat belt"
5:30: our first dose of hydrogen peroxide to make us vomit!
5:40: ethel gives up her dinner. i have an iron stomach and refuse to waste all that delicious dinner. my sister lacks my steely resolve.
6:00: more hydrogen peroxide. a smelly lab mix comes in.
6:20: even more hydrogen peroxide. a goddamn cat comes in. i want to hassle him but he's pretty big.
6:50: more hydrogen peroxide! i make a big belch just to fake them out.
7 p.m.: a schnoodle comes in with an upset stomach. he won't stop barfing. i won't start, even though the cutesy poodle mix names make me want to. a bernese mountain dog comes in with an emergency.
7:15: ethel gets activated charcoal. i get my last dose of h.p. i have an iron will. no barfing.
8:20: the vet gives up. i'm going to another vet, ethel is going home, clean as a whistle on the inside.
9 p.m.: arrive at the emergency vet. dr. greene whisks me away. it sounds like the vet techs are having a christmas party. i am not invited.
between 9-11: i am given an emetic. i finally give up my dinner.
11 p.m.: the vet tech tells my mawma i'm getting activated charcoal. it leaves me with a handsome charcoal beard. when i drink water it drips off my chin leaving a little trail of black dots behind me. that will come in handy if i get lost.
midnight: i get to go home! almost 10 hours at vet and i'm ready to leave. mawma looks exhausted so i give her my cute face (which is my usual face). i can get away with anything.
12:30a.m.: my mawma makes her first joke that ethel and i, because of our activated charcoal dinner, got what we deserved for christmas--a lump of coal. i am not amused.

so you understand why i haven't been blogging. it's a busy, busy life. i'd better be getting more than that coal for christmas. seriously, send me presents or i'll tell bill o'reilly you're waging war on christmas.