Friday, September 02, 2005

more football follies

has outrage about the hotel situation (including outrage from blogging dogs) prompted a change to the hotel policy in tallahassee where football fans were about to bump evacuees from their rooms? the tallahassee democrat has taken down a story about the possible booting and has replaced it with a hotel hotline to help people find rooms.

according to a story on msnbc, the hotel fiasco may not be entirely the hotels' fault:

In Tallahassee, Fla., a big college football weekend awaits. There is concern hotel space might disappear for Katrina victims since Florida law requires hotels to honor all reservations. The hotels have been booked for weeks, with Florida State playing its opener against Miami and Florida A&M hosting Delaware State.

because florida laws have not caused us enough headaches in the past.

the university of alabama (also playing this weekend) has been contacting ticket holders asking them to surrender their hotel rooms. i certainly hope the florida schools have done the same. unfortunately, when i went to their web sites (which i shall not link to due to my moral and personal opposition to their football teams--go huskers) i saw no mention of it even on the unfortunately mascotted miami hurricanes' site. (yes, i just verbed a noun. i'm a dog. i'm not bound by your naked ape rules.) UA did mention the request on theirs.

maybe king kaufman at salon is on to something with at least considering cancelling or postponing sporting events--especially in affected areas. it would at least spare my huskers the possible shame of losing to maine, the division I-AA team they bravely scheduled after their 5-6 season last year. (no disrespect to my I-AA blue hens who have put up much more respectable results of late than my huskers).

lighter news

i found a contest for my little sister ethel! it's the least obedient dog contest, sponsored by a toy company who is launching a new line of plush toys that apparently responds to commands (ok, that part is weird).

i think she might have a shot, though i too have a habit of going spontaneously deaf when at the dog park. may the worst dog win.

well, i'm relieved

thank goodness the president is visiting the gulf coast region to reassure people that trent lott's home will be rebuilt. i've been worried.

he knows sacrifice since this has cut into his serious social schedule like john mccain's birthday party on the 29th as the hurricane was hitting the coast. tragically, the frosting on the cake apparently melted in the arizona heat before they could eat it.

on the plus side, perhaps this will prompt actual discussion of some real social problems.

who left the naked apes in charge of this planet? intelligent design my ass.

you can't be serious

even i'm struck barkless about this one from the miami herald:

Hotels to evacuees: Go before big game

Many Tallahassee hotels have told hurricane evacuees they'll have to move by the day of the FSU-Miami football game so that fan bookings can be honored.


TALLAHASSEE - Hundreds of Katrina evacuees who fled to Tallahassee seeking refuge from the storm have been politely told by their hotels and motels to leave this weekend to make room for a football game: FSU vs. Miami. Hotel space is traditionally scarce any time the Florida State Seminoles take on the University of Miami Hurricanes, one of the choicest tickets on the college football schedule. But with hotels packed with families from Louisiana and Mississippi, and room space booked for Monday's game for months, hotel operators say they are trying to accommodate the evacuees but have no choice but to nudge them out. ''We have to let them know what's going on in town and they're going to have to leave,'' said Angie Rayman, manager at the Howard Johnson. ``Many of them are trying to get closer to home anyway.''

Thursday, September 01, 2005

dogs that need help

i think we should help the naked apes on the gulf coast but if you'd also like to help the other animals, too, i thought i'd post links to groups who are helping the thousands of animals left homeless by the hurricane: American Humane Association and Noah's Wish. i'll give up my weekly greenie and a new squeaky to help out a lost dog. or even a goddamn cat. yeah, i've got a heart. poor pets. and their naked apes, too.

great apes (and their naked ape cousins)

new findings in the mapping of your cousin the chimp's genome. listen to this description of behavioral differences between chimps and naked apes both caused by and causing DNA differences and you tell me which species sounds like it has more fun:

But another aspect of the comparison has yielded insights into a different question, the evolution of the human Y chromosome. The new finding implies that humans have led sexually virtuous lives for the last six million years, at least in comparison with the flamboyant promiscuity of chimpanzees.

also discovered: bonzo would definitely have made a better president than his co-star.


let it be said that the president did not fiddle while rome burned. he got guitar lessons while new orleans flooded. this picture is from tuesday, august 30.

and i thought i lacked tact.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

honor amongst thieves and cats

a german cat was caught by the pigs (the police kind, not the babe kind) while ransacking an apartment:

Police also found fish and fish remains from a broken aquarium scattered around the apartment, said Julika Reinhardt, spokesman for the police in the town north of Hamburg.
Two officers finally found the offender, a cat, hiding under a kitchen cabinet but the heavyweight male resisted arrest, biting one officer in the thumb before they both managed to overpower it.

i'm torn about this story. on the one hand i think it is another illustration of the dishonorable nature of goddamn cats. on the other hand, he was messing with naked apes and it is always amusing when the beasts better their "masters." as long as he didn't steal any dog food i guess it's ok.

wally gets his citizenship!

this is the face of a good citizen!

last night i officially passed my canine good citizen test meaning that you may no longer refer to me as "that naughty dog" (i'm looking at you, granny!). not only did i pass, but i was told i was the best walker in class and looked like a show dog. if only they let corgadors into shows which they won't because we would trounce the competition.

so today while my naked apes are gone i think i will celebrate being named a well-behaved dog by getting into the snack drawer and helping myself to some greenies and liver snacks and maybe strewing my toys around the house. so when do i get to vote?

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

doggy style

it was only a matter of time before i used that lame pun for a title.

but it's appropriate here for a dog love hotel that just opened in brazil! it includes a heart shaped bed and mirrors on the ceiling for amorous dogs to, um, express their love.

unfortunately, it appears that this person doesn't know dogs very well since they commented: "The window has thick curtains for timid dogs that want discretion." i have yet to see a dog with discretion. we have no shame about bodily functions. you naked apes could learn a thing or two from us.

Also check out this part:

"We also have a wedding agency that matches up dogs and if the female dog doesn't get pregnant, we offer artificial insemination services," said Marinho.

marriage? for dogs? what would rick santorum say? maybe it's ok so long as it's between one male and one bitch. i'm not sure "marriage" is one of our grand traditions, though. we are loyal to our pet naked apes and to our friends but monogamy is not really a dog kind of thing. i might enjoy a vacation at this hotel since my 9-5 job of napping, watching my sister ethel, and eating pb kongs is rather exhausting. but it seems to me that, unlike you naked apes, we really don't require these elaborate ceremonies before getting amorous. but if it makes you feel better i will let you spend extravagant amounts of money on me.