So some of you have been expressing concern about my ma ape but I assure you there is no need. Here is the state of my ma ape's health:
No, she is not actually a horse (though she has a very horsey robust hind ends), she is healthy as a horse. Well, other than the mysterious stomach ailment last Thursday night which may or may not be traceable to the kisses I gave her after eating my chicken back.
No, my ape who is feeling a bit poorly is the J Ape, the one with the nice camera that takes loverly photos of me. Since J Ape is behind the camera I don't have a picture so let's just pretend this is J Ape.
The J Ape has been having ticker problems. I am working on a theory that he has been jealous of the attention I have received on account of my ticker problems and, of course, he wants to be cool like me so he is making his heart too big, too. Dr. Wally's diagnosis: JELLY (of Wally).
It is not easy for those of us with the Big Hearts and Soulful Eyes:
I do quite good work with the medical diagnoses. For example here is my sissy:
She is fine physically, if a bit long in the legs, but she also suffers a bit from ADD inasmuch as she has some problems paying attention and it leads her to pace endlessly and lose her toys to her snotty baby brudder. Dr. Wally's Diagnosis: JELLY (of Wally.)
Here is Baby Brudder Oscar. While he is passed out in the grass here, he is fine--if a bit on the thin and leggy side--at least on the outside. Inside that head? There be dragons. This dog is loopy. Dr. Wally's Diagnosis: JELLY (of Wally).
I am certain that any national health care program will include the services of Dr. Wally. In addition to my mad skillz diagnosing I can also do a laying on of paws that will surely cure whatever ails you. Except the Wallyjelly, because I know that I am a lot to live up to. But remember, you do not need to make your heart big to be like the Wally. Just 23 hours a day of napping (with snoring), copious snackeroonies, and sibling bossery should do the trick!
Labels: ethel, feeling poorly, j ape, ma ape, oscar, ticker probs, Wally