New Brudder?

Heyyyyy.  Happier news guys!  Look!  We got a new brudder!  This is Mr. Alistair P. Sloppysocks! He is an English Cocker Spaniel.

He is also a prize winning ballroom dancer!

And a master sharkface-ateer!

But then...ma ape lost him! Did Oscar swallow him? Did Ed have one too many humpings? Did he trip over his socks and fall into a hole?  NO!  He got ADOPTERATED!  Yes, our ma ape was a SUCCESSFUL FOSTER APE! There's a first time foster non-fail in everyone, even our ape. We loved Alistair. He was a goofus and OBST liked the shark face and Ed...learned what it is to be humped. But ma ape found him a home in MASTERCHEWSITS near Dexter the WonderLab, Nordude the Frogster, and Tula Monstah!  (Thanks to Free to Be! for helping us to find a forever home!)

Before he left we made him a movie! Party cocker in the hoooooouse tonight! (Yes, that's Otis in there) Congrats Mr. Sloppysocks!  He found a great home with a great person who loves him so much. That's livin!  But then....who is this?

One Word Wednesday

Help.

How We Get Ready for the Day

We have a regular routine we like to stick to in the morning.  We get up at 4:30 for regular walkies.  Sometimes Otis goes with us and we are slow pokes. Sometimes he sleeps in and we zoom around the hood.  Then we eat our breakfasts.  Otis is fast at this.  Then we like to help our ma ape relax before she goes off to work.  We do this by WILDIN' OUT!  We are certain she finds this most calming.  See!



Note: We did not get it on film but Ed did make a nearly fatal error. He tried to hump Ethel. He is currently filming his episode of "I Shouldn't Be Alive." Nobody humps a lady.

After the Storm

Otis T. Potus, bravest pitboo on the block here.  We have made it through Irene!  She's still blowing air at us (not just the winds coming from our nervous bums, though that may be grounds for another state of emergency) but she is mostly gone.  We are still hopeful that our friends Gus and Teka in Richmond, VA will have power soon, and that Tula Monstah, Norwood, Mango & the Dexmeister, Agatha and Archie in Masterchewsits, Maggie n' Mitch in Connecticut, Asta and Petey in NYC, are doing well.  And close to us, Khyra who is without power and our besties Narra and the Dirty Dozen who also lost power.  WITH 12 DOGS IN ONE BASEMENT! Our ma ape is traumatized just thinking about it.

From what we can see this tree across the street from us is the worst of it:

We were outside when this happened in the pitch black and hear CRRRRRAAAAAACK!  We got inside with a quickness and our GranNE gave us a lecture about loitering around in the out of doors in storms.  Good thing we have a Nebraskan to help us with hurricane safety! Our ma ape is worthless!

This was our only casualty, a branch that fell on our ma ape while she was taking our pictures.  It caused her momentary discomfort as the leaves were quite slimy.  Also, Tnaner noticed that we may have dropped our house on someone wearing that shoe.  My lips are sealed.

Ethel is MOST relieved. She was nervous yesterday because she did googly eyes (where you can see the whites of her eyes) in all her pictures yesterday. She WILL NOT go outside if it is raining so the ape had to walk her in pouring rain!  Hilarious!

We spent some time in the basement during a tornado warning (there was a tornado in SoDel).  As you can see, this caused me a great deal of sturm and drang.  I am seething inside.

Ed was excited to get to have a slumber pawty in the basement.  He staked a claim to the blankie immediately because he is one greedy little bastard.

In the morning we did some sploring, though our ma ape is keenly aware it is still windy and branches could still fall on our delicate noggins.  Fortunately my skull seems to be made of motorcycle helmet material and is indestructible.  The little man, however, needs to protect what few brains he has.

I sent Tweedledee and Tweedledum out on a patrol anyway.

All's quiet on this eastern front!  But we're still not gonna tell you what happened to the witch in the shoe.

Here is a delightfully uneventful post-storm video:

Of Birthdays Major and Minor

Edgrr has been blowing up our twitter telling everyone that it is his burpday when his burpday, in fact, is not until August 21st, Sunday.  He is SO EXCITED because he's never gotten to have a burpday before.  Fortunately we were able to ease him into it with a pre-Edgrr burpday celebration of our ape being one year closer to decrepitude.  The ape made this peachy cake but it was so good she didn't have time to take pictures before it was nommed into oblivion.

We got her some things we KNEW she would love!  Our beautiful smiling faces and, you can kind of see in this picture--RAIN! She needed it for her plants that GranNE planted for her and she gets so tired hauling the hose all over the yard for the waterings.

We did have some help in procuring the rain, however, from The Other Ape who got our ape these awesome waterproofs sandals!  Surely that coaxed the rain out of hidings!  And then ma ape, Theo's ape and The Other Ape went to a documentary called Rise of the Planet of the Apes!  An chimpocracy, orangetangery and gorilla tactics is maybe just what this country needs!

We also did some funny stuffs for our ape.  Wheeeee!  Roly poly Potus.

Ed played with his Otis doll.

And then we opened our card from GranNE!  She sent us some of the green stuff, surely to buy us party supplies for Ed's burpday!  Thank you so much GranNE!  The card said "You don't have that old person smell yet."  Aw, it was nice of you to lie to the ma ape, GranNE!

Then we made our ape happy by doing hippo impressions and eating i screams.

Ed ate so fast all his pictures came out blurry.

Oscar's eyes crossed.

And Ethel ate ever so delicately.

And then our friend Theo's Ape gave our ape THIS!  It is Wally as a Foo dog!  She has always thought Wally looked like a Foo Dog!  Foo Dogs are actually guardian lions and now we have Wally Foo to protect us from evil.

If this is how we celebrate a minor burpday like our Ma Ape's imagine the blow out we're gonna have for Ed's!  Look out world!

ETA:  We totally forget the BEST part!  CHEESEBURGERS FOR JOE STAINS!  The Other Ape brought us burgers for our regular Joe Stains remembrance!

Great Google-y Moogly!

Otis the Potus here.  This week I decided to check the little Doohickey McThing on our blog that tells us what searches people are performing in order to arrive at our blog.  This was a terrible idea as it revealed to me what you naked apes are thinking.  You are all awful, really the worst.  Here is what I saw via this little window into your minds:


Rent a Dog

Rent?  No you may own.  Take this dog on the left, please.

Terrible mothers in history and Mommy Dearest

Looking for our ma ape, we see.

Wally lane.

Yes, we live on Wally Lane, though for some reason the pizzas I order to have delivered here never quite make it.

Everybody loves a big ass.

This is true.  Junk, meet trunk.


Snow Wally.

We've got that.

Pooly Dogs

Is this what you're looking for?  My brother in his bathing garb?

Identifying a mutt test

Trying to get smarter?  OK, here's your test:  Which dog is a handsome devil?  (A: Trick question, handsome on the right, devil on the left.)

Another test:  Which mutt is a lady?  (Another trick question:  Neither.  My sissy is no lady!)  


Crime against animality:  Our ape was delighted that the first page this phrase leads you to is an article by Jacques Derrida, granddad of deconstruction.  The second link was us.  We're pretty sure this is what Mr. Derrida was referring to:

Mango ness


WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Oh my.  Coming to our blog looking for a pair of mangoes?

 Or wondering how this handsome brindle boy displays his resemblance to Mango?

All right, all right.  We know from your USUAL searches you are looking for that Mango-ness that none of us gentlemen here have.  The Mango Ness:

 All right, naked apes, there are your search results.  Now you can get back to your googling of bottoms and sheppys in bikinis and what I know you were looking for.

Sunday Nostalgia

We have been having some major league butt blowouts that involve waking our ape up in the middle of the night to take us outside.  She was thrilled!  So we've been deprived of our usual tasty noms by our cruel cruel ma ape who has made us a horrible gruel involving rice, yogurts, boiled meats, and pumpkins.  Awful!  So we would like to dedicate this post to the memory of ice cream past (like 4 days ago).

Frosty, tasty noms.

Ethel always acts like you are trying to poison her and looks at any food with suspicion.

Oscar has no reservations.

But, as you can see, he is the looks--not the brains--of this operation.

Ed snatches his screams so fast you cannot see it but you can see the teeny tiny tip of his tongue cleaning off the last molecules of scream from his furs.

And here he gives the side eye to anyone who comes near his scream drips.

Otis washes the dishes.

Um, that tongue can't be natural, right?  Can they do tongue enhancements now?  We will check it out as soon as we finish our investigation into whether Ed has butt implants.  And also as soon as we are done with the dire rears disaster.