A Cracker Dog Crew

We have been lazy about posterating but we are inspired to post something NEW:  MANGOMINSTER 2012!  We have a COLLECTIVE entry for the CRACKER CRITTERS category.  If you read our blog you probably suspect the guilty party is EDGRR who constantly has his chompers out and is always shouting.  Or maybe Oscar Bean, Super Teen who is the screamiest sheppy in town.  NO!  We have a secret cracker dog in our house: OTIS T. POTUS.  You might thing: he is too old to be a crackerdog.  You would be wrong.  We submit for your pleasure a short video with evidence. While Otis may not have the speed, agilities, or jumping abilities of other cracker dogs, what he does have is dogged determination in the face of resistance. BEHOLD!



As you can see, Otis is the leader of a crackerdog crew, master of ignoring the ma ape, doing what he wants, and nommin' on what he pleases!

For an old man, Otis holds his own at SHARKFACE.

And he likes to get into bed and steal the pillows (and all the space.) Otis is entering this category to represent for the OLDS who can still be cracker dogs!

Great Google-y Moogly!

Otis the Potus here.  This week I decided to check the little Doohickey McThing on our blog that tells us what searches people are performing in order to arrive at our blog.  This was a terrible idea as it revealed to me what you naked apes are thinking.  You are all awful, really the worst.  Here is what I saw via this little window into your minds:


Rent a Dog

Rent?  No you may own.  Take this dog on the left, please.

Terrible mothers in history and Mommy Dearest

Looking for our ma ape, we see.

Wally lane.

Yes, we live on Wally Lane, though for some reason the pizzas I order to have delivered here never quite make it.

Everybody loves a big ass.

This is true.  Junk, meet trunk.


Snow Wally.

We've got that.

Pooly Dogs

Is this what you're looking for?  My brother in his bathing garb?

Identifying a mutt test

Trying to get smarter?  OK, here's your test:  Which dog is a handsome devil?  (A: Trick question, handsome on the right, devil on the left.)

Another test:  Which mutt is a lady?  (Another trick question:  Neither.  My sissy is no lady!)  


Crime against animality:  Our ape was delighted that the first page this phrase leads you to is an article by Jacques Derrida, granddad of deconstruction.  The second link was us.  We're pretty sure this is what Mr. Derrida was referring to:

Mango ness


WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Oh my.  Coming to our blog looking for a pair of mangoes?

 Or wondering how this handsome brindle boy displays his resemblance to Mango?

All right, all right.  We know from your USUAL searches you are looking for that Mango-ness that none of us gentlemen here have.  The Mango Ness:

 All right, naked apes, there are your search results.  Now you can get back to your googling of bottoms and sheppys in bikinis and what I know you were looking for.

It has been too long!

Our ape has been taking the dog days of summer too seriously and has been super duper lazy.  We're sure you have missed us ever so much.  We thought we'd post some movies we have made while she has been super duper lazy.

A Day in the Life of Edgrr (mostly involves harassing his siblings, getting dirty (literally and metaphorically), and needing a bath:



And here is Otis reacting to things with his head. In particular he listens to the dulcet tones of Mango seducing ladies via his YouTube videos.

I am mangOtis!

I am Spartacus Mango!

I was most excited when I read about the Be Like Mango contest! You see, when I first got on the series of tubes to meet all of Wally's friends I was most intrigued by the Mango Man who is possessed of a most fetching brindle coat, a fashionable black mask, and jowls that go on forever. We even both have most annoying black-coated siblings (hey, not everyone can wear stripes). Indeed, I sometimes like to fancy myself a mini-Mango. (Mini is relative as I am quite substantial myself.)

I have a most impressive tongue that can produce slobber with the best of them:

And I can produce ice-cream aided suds.

As with Mango I require much sustenance throughout the day to keep my most muscular body going. My prodigious eating capacity also makes me the world's 3rd largest source of natural gas.

We also have most expressive faces able to covey a variety of messages.

Righteously indignant.

Ironic distance.

Hunger (for meaning and for food.)

I just ate 3 pounds of dirt.

Like Mango I am a prolific gardener who prunes the hostas daily.

And I am a Sophisticated Gentleman who never likes to go out without a little lipstick.

We are both unparalleled athletes who require regular exercise for our physicals and our mentals.

And then there is my Mango-ness. I got tutored so late that I can fake possession of my original mangoes. I am quite hopeful for the wonderful prize that it be either a nice container of suds with which to wash my brindley furs or perhaps some fruitables:

Tag, We're It!

Wally's friend Mango's labradude brudder (can you follow all that!) tagged US THE PEPPY SHEPPYS! We have to tell you TEN THINGS about US. Not about WALLY and not just ONE THING! TEN THINGS! PEPPY SHEPPYS! NO WALLYS! PEPPY SHEPPYS!

See Wally--LEFT BEHIND!

Now here's ETHEL PEPPY SHEPPY! FIVE THINGS!

1. My name used to be DALLAS! They could have named Oscar FORT WORTH but they changed my name instead!
2. I got spayed TWICE! At my shelter they opened me up and MY BITS WERE ALREADY GONE.
3. I like to break up fights so when my brudders bark at the neighbor dog I will get between them in the fence. If they start to PLAY I also break it UP because I don't want them to fight. OR I MIGHT JUST BE JELLY!
4. I fought Narra and Narra won!
5. I TACKLED A DEERS!

OSCAR BEAN, SUPER TEEN, FIVE THINGS!

1. I have fantastic car manners! I always get in and lie down and don't try to get in the front like certain GIRL SHEPPYS.
2. I am actually the GIRLY sheppy even though Ethel is the GIRL SHEPPY. I scream all the time and I'm a total mama's boy who needs constant reassurance.
3. I have CORPOPHAGIA which sounds like a fancy disease but really I just EAT POOP.
4. I got NEUTERED and SPAYED! I was CRYPTO-ORCHID which means I couldn't go any of those teabagging parties yesterday!
5. I like food EVEN MORE than WALLY! I mean even more than Wally likes food. I think I like Wally more than I like food which is a lot because I LOVE FOOD. And two of my favorites are BANANERS and MAPPLES! I like them whole and I eat them with my mouth WIDE OPEN so I can chew real loud!

THESE ARE TEN THINGS! Don't you wish Wally didn't hog the BLOGGY SO WE COULD SHOUT AT YOU MORE!

Wally says we need to stop blogging like Kanye West in all caps and nonsequitors. WHAAAAAAT? OUTTIE 5000, Gs!

--OSCAR BEAN & ETHEL JEAN, PEPPY SHEPPYS, ESQ.

Wally week!

We need to have a talk.
My blog has slowly been taken over by other dogs who are glomming onto my fame, good fortune, and astoundingly good looks. It is time to get back to basics. My good pal MJ had a small but simple request--we need ALL WALLY ALL THE TIME to make up for all these interlopers--THAT MEANS YOU PEPPY SHEPPYS! And what MJ wants, MJ gets!

So, first, some items of business. A couple of weeks ago me n' my sibs competed in MANGOMINSTER, the GREATEST DOG SHOW ON EARTH and it was too much fun! And while the peppy sheppys were an embarrassment to our family, I was lucky enough to win the People's Choice Herding group!


And last week in the mail I got my booty for winning! Look at my medal! I am overwhelmed with emotion:


But not so overwhelmed that I cannot eat the deeeeeeeeeeelicious mumpkin snacks Mango sent with the medal. THANKS MANGO MAN! I will be showing you more of my medal because it looks so good I'm gonna wear it all the time.


And now this award-winning dog has some business to do. I know the economy is bad and my ma ape wants a house of her own so I've decided it is time for me to buckle down and get a job.
So I've been reading the classifieds looking for the right job.


I think I've found it!

Meats! My speciality (unless there are Wallymelon Herders--do you think?) I will need to do some practice before my interview.

My ma ape believes that my generalized lack of teeth may be a problem but I believe my extensive experience will help. I will keep you update. On me. NOT on interlopers!

Year of the (Old) Dog!

I wanted to thanks all of my friends and assorted admirers who were kind enough to vote for me over at Mangominster where I won the people's choice in the herding group. And I do believe one Miss Sophie La Brador promised me smooches in the comments. (Don't worry Joe, I know who her ultimate fan favorite is!)

And I think that my win was probably predicted by the winner of Westminster, Stumpy, who like me is diminutive in stature but advanced in age, er, maturity.

The Corgi Girls said that I am a SILVER FOX. Old is the new young, dudes!

Here's a little smoochasmoocha face for all my buds! (Especially Mango and his mom who are really doing a great job with Mangominster which has been a hoot!)

And ordinarily I would be rubbing it in with my baby brudder and sissy that they are LOOOOOOOOSERS in the contest but I'm in too good of a mood. And also I'm too old to remember why I don't like them in the first place.

It's Show Time!

This is Roscoe P. Neo, working on SPCA Saturday. As a fellow mastiff I'd like to alert you to the GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH--MANGOMINSTER! over at Mango's place.

As you can see I am working on my juggling for the talent competition.

See you soon at SPCA Saturday!