Great Google-y Moogly!
Otis the Potus here. This week I decided to check the little Doohickey McThing on our blog that tells us what searches people are performing in order to arrive at our blog. This was a terrible idea as it revealed to me what you naked apes are thinking. You are all awful, really the worst. Here is what I saw via this little window into your minds:
Rent a Dog
Terrible mothers in history and Mommy Dearest
Looking for our ma ape, we see.
Yes, we live on Wally Lane, though for some reason the pizzas I order to have delivered here never quite make it.
Everybody loves a big ass.
This is true. Junk, meet trunk.
We've got that.
Is this what you're looking for? My brother in his bathing garb?
Identifying a mutt test
Trying to get smarter? OK, here's your test: Which dog is a handsome devil? (A: Trick question, handsome on the right, devil on the left.)
Another test: Which mutt is a lady? (Another trick question: Neither. My sissy is no lady!)
Crime against animality: Our ape was delighted that the first page this phrase leads you to is an article by Jacques Derrida, granddad of deconstruction. The second link was us. We're pretty sure this is what Mr. Derrida was referring to: