Great Google-y Moogly!

Otis the Potus here.  This week I decided to check the little Doohickey McThing on our blog that tells us what searches people are performing in order to arrive at our blog.  This was a terrible idea as it revealed to me what you naked apes are thinking.  You are all awful, really the worst.  Here is what I saw via this little window into your minds:


Rent a Dog

Rent?  No you may own.  Take this dog on the left, please.

Terrible mothers in history and Mommy Dearest

Looking for our ma ape, we see.

Wally lane.

Yes, we live on Wally Lane, though for some reason the pizzas I order to have delivered here never quite make it.

Everybody loves a big ass.

This is true.  Junk, meet trunk.


Snow Wally.

We've got that.

Pooly Dogs

Is this what you're looking for?  My brother in his bathing garb?

Identifying a mutt test

Trying to get smarter?  OK, here's your test:  Which dog is a handsome devil?  (A: Trick question, handsome on the right, devil on the left.)

Another test:  Which mutt is a lady?  (Another trick question:  Neither.  My sissy is no lady!)  


Crime against animality:  Our ape was delighted that the first page this phrase leads you to is an article by Jacques Derrida, granddad of deconstruction.  The second link was us.  We're pretty sure this is what Mr. Derrida was referring to:

Mango ness


WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Oh my.  Coming to our blog looking for a pair of mangoes?

 Or wondering how this handsome brindle boy displays his resemblance to Mango?

All right, all right.  We know from your USUAL searches you are looking for that Mango-ness that none of us gentlemen here have.  The Mango Ness:

 All right, naked apes, there are your search results.  Now you can get back to your googling of bottoms and sheppys in bikinis and what I know you were looking for.

Sunday Nostalgia

We have been having some major league butt blowouts that involve waking our ape up in the middle of the night to take us outside.  She was thrilled!  So we've been deprived of our usual tasty noms by our cruel cruel ma ape who has made us a horrible gruel involving rice, yogurts, boiled meats, and pumpkins.  Awful!  So we would like to dedicate this post to the memory of ice cream past (like 4 days ago).

Frosty, tasty noms.

Ethel always acts like you are trying to poison her and looks at any food with suspicion.

Oscar has no reservations.

But, as you can see, he is the looks--not the brains--of this operation.

Ed snatches his screams so fast you cannot see it but you can see the teeny tiny tip of his tongue cleaning off the last molecules of scream from his furs.

And here he gives the side eye to anyone who comes near his scream drips.

Otis washes the dishes.

Um, that tongue can't be natural, right?  Can they do tongue enhancements now?  We will check it out as soon as we finish our investigation into whether Ed has butt implants.  And also as soon as we are done with the dire rears disaster.