That's what it looked like at my house on Wednesday night. Our power went out and so we had NO HEAT and NO LIGHT and NO COLD IN THE FREEZING BOX. After the first hour I thought for sure we should eat all the things in the freezing box because what if it thaws? What if we starve to death? We had no choice but to all get into the bed. The ma ape wrapped us up in our Grammie Blankets to keep us warm. I think we were just minutes away from freezing to death and so I worked on Wally's Last Will and Testament.
The Last Will and Testament of Wally T. Corgador
1. Please store my body in the freezing box so that I may be reanimated in the future like Ted Williams. But I don't wanna be buried in a Pet Sematary, ok?
2. The contents of the freezing box shall be distributed among the following BFFS: Peanut, Sherman, Joe Stains, and GooberStan. Sharing with siblings shall be prohibited. Eating the snackables in FRONT of siblings for maximum jellyness is mandatory.
3. Copyright for my literary works and all of their profits shall be shifted to one Marvin the Scotsman poet.
4. All baked goods in my house are property of Buster.
5. The pink Grammie blanket shall henceforth be willed to Ms. Samantha.
6. The black Grammie blanket shall henceforth be willed to Sophina La Brador.
7. My stuffy collection shall go to Suki and Suki Sumo.
8. My moxie shall be distributed amongst the Wire Fox Terrorists.
9. My prolific collection of yellow snow in the backyard shall be sent to Ruby Bleu and Randi who are unfamiliar with the yelly snow.
10. All of my many holiday cards shall be piled on top of the corpse my ma ape who 1) shall remember for all eternity how I got way more stuff than her and 2) shall be reminded of how she STILL hasn't sent out my d&^$%*(&$% cards!
11. My Mariners collar shall be sent to the baseball hall of fame. My Husker jersey to Lincoln, Nebraska where it will bring good luck to all (huskers) who gaze upon it.
But then after three hours the electricity came back on and we went and had snacks and went to bed. Sorry, dudes, all my stuff is MINE.
And look at this cool thing I do with my jowls in the snow. Ha!
Labels: last will and testament, near death experiences, scary, Wally