Saturday, December 08, 2007

Sissy Update!

So the ol' pus bucket got her stitchies out on Thursday. And I didn't go but she told me about it. She had gained a whole pound. And then the vet tech pulled out her stitchies in the lobby and my sissy had a secret weapon--she TOOTED on the vet tech! Hahahahahahaha!

Here is her update! She is still all long. (And has a bald patch--hahaha!)

She is still superfast.

And is still crazy as a loon.

Here I am eating a little snow. I'm glad that everyone agreed that I am wasting away. But look! I have to eat snow! (Send snacks!) In fact I ate so much snow it's almost ALL GONE today. Who took our snow???

And I have done a good job catching snowballs.

That is an update on my sissy with a bonus Wally update.

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Friday, December 07, 2007

My Near Death Experience

That's what it looked like at my house on Wednesday night. Our power went out and so we had NO HEAT and NO LIGHT and NO COLD IN THE FREEZING BOX. After the first hour I thought for sure we should eat all the things in the freezing box because what if it thaws? What if we starve to death? We had no choice but to all get into the bed. The ma ape wrapped us up in our Grammie Blankets to keep us warm. I think we were just minutes away from freezing to death and so I worked on Wally's Last Will and Testament.

The Last Will and Testament of Wally T. Corgador

1. Please store my body in the freezing box so that I may be reanimated in the future like Ted Williams. But I don't wanna be buried in a Pet Sematary, ok?
2. The contents of the freezing box shall be distributed among the following BFFS: Peanut, Sherman, Joe Stains, and GooberStan. Sharing with siblings shall be prohibited. Eating the snackables in FRONT of siblings for maximum jellyness is mandatory.
3. Copyright for my literary works and all of their profits shall be shifted to one Marvin the Scotsman poet.
4. All baked goods in my house are property of Buster.
5. The pink Grammie blanket shall henceforth be willed to Ms. Samantha.
6. The black Grammie blanket shall henceforth be willed to Sophina La Brador.
7. My stuffy collection shall go to Suki and Suki Sumo.
8. My moxie shall be distributed amongst the Wire Fox Terrorists.
9. My prolific collection of yellow snow in the backyard shall be sent to Ruby Bleu and Randi who are unfamiliar with the yelly snow.
10. All of my many holiday cards shall be piled on top of the corpse my ma ape who 1) shall remember for all eternity how I got way more stuff than her and 2) shall be reminded of how she STILL hasn't sent out my d&^$%*(&$% cards!
11. My Mariners collar shall be sent to the baseball hall of fame. My Husker jersey to Lincoln, Nebraska where it will bring good luck to all (huskers) who gaze upon it.

But then after three hours the electricity came back on and we went and had snacks and went to bed. Sorry, dudes, all my stuff is MINE.

And look at this cool thing I do with my jowls in the snow. Ha!

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Yellow snow! Yellow snow! Yellow snow!

It's the first snow of the year. Ethel is not impressed. She has a bald patch from her stitchies so she's all chilly. She also a skinny minny who doesn't have a layer of chub to keep her warm.

I'm more excited about the snow even though my ma ape has not been listening to me about how I need to store up chub for the winter. Look at how skinny I am! I'll probably expire in the cold unless I start to eat more.

Now, I've been getting LOADS of mail and I'm supposed to save it to open closer to the holiday but I got one SPECIAL card from THRAWN of the Five Happy Hounds (and brother to my zaftig honey Sam) and I KNEW I had to open it immediately. Here's what it says on the outside:

Though the weather outside is frightful
Marking territory's so delightful!
There's no limit to where I'll go


You know me so well Thrawn!

Thanks buddy!

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Sunday, December 02, 2007

Birds at Play!

Oh no! My birdy teams are playing each other today! Some Eagles vs. Some Seahawks! They are both my adopted home cities so what is a dog to do?

Sorry Eagles, I look better in blue and green.

But I will accept bribes in the form of snackables.

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Comedic Stylings

So my ma ape abandoned me last night to see this dude:

Jon Stewart

That's Jon Stewart. On the one hand I'm glad she went to see him because she has been craaaaaanky without her Daily Show and Colbert Report fix. But then she told me he did a bit about his dog and it made me biting mad! Because the whole bit was about his dog getting into the trash and having diarrhea and barf issues. And while I know it's probably hard to get material while the writers are on strike--that's OUR best bit! We dogs have the corner on the poo and barf jokes! And, to prove my point, this morning I whined until my ma ape let me get into the bed with her and then, just as she was about to fall asleep again, I barfed! Awesome! Now THAT'S comic timing, Mr. Stewart.

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