My Near Death Experience
That's what it looked like at my house on Wednesday night. Our power went out and so we had NO HEAT and NO LIGHT and NO COLD IN THE FREEZING BOX. After the first hour I thought for sure we should eat all the things in the freezing box because what if it thaws? What if we starve to death? We had no choice but to all get into the bed. The ma ape wrapped us up in our Grammie Blankets to keep us warm. I think we were just minutes away from freezing to death and so I worked on Wally's Last Will and Testament.
The Last Will and Testament of Wally T. Corgador
1. Please store my body in the freezing box so that I may be reanimated in the future like Ted Williams. But I don't wanna be buried in a Pet Sematary, ok?
2. The contents of the freezing box shall be distributed among the following BFFS: Peanut, Sherman, Joe Stains, and GooberStan. Sharing with siblings shall be prohibited. Eating the snackables in FRONT of siblings for maximum jellyness is mandatory.
3. Copyright for my literary works and all of their profits shall be shifted to one Marvin the Scotsman poet.
4. All baked goods in my house are property of Buster.
5. The pink Grammie blanket shall henceforth be willed to Ms. Samantha.
6. The black Grammie blanket shall henceforth be willed to Sophina La Brador.
7. My stuffy collection shall go to Suki and Suki Sumo.
8. My moxie shall be distributed amongst the Wire Fox Terrorists.
9. My prolific collection of yellow snow in the backyard shall be sent to Ruby Bleu and Randi who are unfamiliar with the yelly snow.
10. All of my many holiday cards shall be piled on top of the corpse my ma ape who 1) shall remember for all eternity how I got way more stuff than her and 2) shall be reminded of how she STILL hasn't sent out my d&^$%*(&$% cards!
11. My Mariners collar shall be sent to the baseball hall of fame. My Husker jersey to Lincoln, Nebraska where it will bring good luck to all (huskers) who gaze upon it.
But then after three hours the electricity came back on and we went and had snacks and went to bed. Sorry, dudes, all my stuff is MINE.
And look at this cool thing I do with my jowls in the snow. Ha!
Labels: last will and testament, near death experiences, scary, Wally
posted by wally @ 1:10 PM
21 Comments:
I love your snow jowls. Good think you had blankies to keep you warm. You were very smart to make a will. Now the state can not take all your things for their coffers and spend the ill gotten gains on nonsense, as most states seem to do now a days. I hope Ethel kept her shaved belly warm.
How nice of you to think of me in YOUR hour of need. I love stuffies, but not as much as you, Wally! So I'm glad you survived.
Golly Wally! That is some horrific near death experience...can I suggest one ammendment? Do you think that after the freezing box is emptied, that you could pile the yellow snow in it so it can make the trip to CA? Dont' want to seem greedy, but hate to have the yellow snow melt..then it would be yellow water & I guess just not the same.
Love & Licks,
Randi
Ah Wally, gee whiz. Your black blankie! That is so cool. As long as your still alive, though, maybe I can just come snuggle on it with you. I promise not to beat you up if you don't beat me up. See, we were so made for each other!
xo
SB
p.s No rough riding with me, Walter!
p.p.s. Mom had dinner the other night with her friend's dad, who was a big wig with the Rider's in his youngin' days. He's working on a banana for you. They're kind of all sold out since the Grey Cup.
Wally, you are the most coolest. Of all the things you could leave to me...you picked the eatables. What a guy!
That must have been very scary...but kind of nice snuggling with your Ma Ape in the bed.
Sherman
I sure wish I had big hanging jowls... then I could make wicked cool faces like that.
What a scary night you had! We're so glad you had your blankies to keep you warm and we're very glad that your electricity came back on and you didn't turn into a Wallycicle!
At least you can say that you were well prepared!
Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch
WOW, what an awesome last will and testament. At least you have the list ready.
What an awesome pic!!!!
Frenchie SNorts
Balboa
I am so so glad you didn't freeze to death! Thank you soooo much for remembering me in your will. Did you know Ted Williams head is like RIGHT by my grandparent's house. I could drive there right now and be like Hey Ted!
Oh wally thank you for thinking of me and leaving me eatables. I am glad that you did not pass into the light though. Those are some impressive snow jowls
Whoa, if you were cold, we would have been f.ro.z.en. Bad way to go. Glad the heat came back on.
Oh, and uh, if suki sumo doesn't want your stuffies we'll take 'em.
the warm as toast whippet waggle
Hi, Wally
Sure is great to have everything in order but its better that you are alive and well!
Have a good night
Lorenza
Hahaha, you are such a funny fella! Hope it wasn't too freezing in the house without the heater on.
Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer
Whoa, Wally!
I am touched. No, really. I'm so touched you would include me in the distribution of your eatables. But, I'd rather have the Woober in the world than all the eatables in your freezing box, and I MEAN THAT, man!
Thankfully, you had the blanketables and the ape-ables to keep you and Ethel's naked belly warm. Glad you're alive, buddy.
Goober love & extra survival smooches,
Stanley
Thats so funny, but you forgot me. I was hoping for any bone you may leave buried in the garden. Fat fat Daddy is at work now, with no lights, heating or land line. The power should be back on soon. I wonder is he's writing his will? I wonder he'll remember me?
Simba xx
EEK Wally - do you have power and heat again? Shall I send an emergency wolfhound bearing brandy and bones?
Wally! We're glad you're still around! Try to grow your fur longer like us and you'll be toasty all the time!
Well we are glad your heat came back on because we certainly could not bare to think of you and Ethel and your MaApe freezing to death, And we are touched that you left all of us your moxie...Love A+A
Phew, I'm so glad you made it through sweetie. You could still go ahead and send me the pink blanket though. I could cuddle it and think of yooooou.
Love,
Samantha
Wow Wally, that was a close call!!! Thanks for thinking of me...I would have cherished that yellow snow FUREVER!!!
LOVE the snow jowls!!!
Lots of Licks, Ruby
You forgot to leave Ethel to me. :(
Pippa
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