A Hot Guide to Staying Cool!

Our temperature today was ONE HUNDRED AND ONE! That is even bigger than ONE HUNDRED. Sohot. So we have put together a guide for staying cool which is important when you are wearing a fur coat and/or a manatee costume like Otis Potus.

First, don't let the heat build-up in your bits and frequently air out your pits and parts. FLYING through the air is the best way to chill out.

Don't neglect to cool out your cheeks.

But don't spend too much time in hot places like you brudder's mouth.

Unless that mouth has been pre-cooled with ISCREAM!

Indeed, cooling your mouth is key so don't use too much saucy language that heats it up.

And eat your IScream!


You can also grow your own cooling devices. As you can see here; here is a WALLYMELON in the WILD! And that wild is our garden!


Wallymelon is a delightful cooling device.

But you must be sure to get it ALL OVER for maximum cooling effect!


These are our tips. If it stays this hot for much longer we are looking into one of these get-ups:

Stay cool, dudes!

Easy Like Sunday Morning!

Yesterday I was in a less than good mood about all this snow.

But today things are looking up!

It's not because the sheppys have become less insane.



Or less long-leggy agile and hard to keep up with than they were yesterday.


Especially after someone had the bright idea to get out their toys.

No, they're still hopeless.

But I have come to realize that when the weather is lousy, my ma ape can not be trolloping around at the SPCA with other dogs! Which means she has to play with us! So I decided, if you can't beat 'em, JOIN 'EM!


And you might think all I could do is watch.

But you would be wrong.

Wally always comes out on top!

That's just me, makin' some heat in the cold.

State of Emergency

Our Guv has declared this storm a State of Emergency which is not surprising. We have more than 2 feet of snow which means. Taller than Wally. While belly rubs, lamb and yams, and squeaky toys know no limits, when it comes to snow you CAN have too much of a good thing.


The sheppys have gone stir crazy.

Stark raving mad.

And the ape seems to think I want to play catch.

I need to be airlifted to a tropical paradise. National Guard, don't forget my belly rubs, bacon, and stuffies.

Ice Ice Baby

Our tasty tasty snow has turned into ice. And not even tasty ice like Wudder Ice like we have in Philly. Nasty, dirty, crunchy, slippy, awful ice. I am NOT pleased. Even though I am close to the ground I still slip slide around.

And even on the ice, the peppy sheps cannot GIVE IT A REST!

See me in the background not caring about the mayhem and the foolishness?

This ice is good for nothin' and this morning it was really stressful trying to go for a walk on the ice and so I just wanted to stop so I PASSED OUT! Like I did in December. But this time I popped right back up. Well, as fast as you can pop up on a sheet of ice! And because I fainted we got to go home and eat breakfast. My ma ape says I should not teach this trick to my friends but it TOTALLY WORKS. Ahem, I mean, do not pretend you are a fainting goat, ok?



I could not convince the ice to turn into the snow no matter how much I swooned.

Or made faces at it.

I am officially ready for spring.



And, um, when you're in Philly don't order the Yellow Wudder Ice:

What are Weekends for?

As many of you know, my ma ape abandons me every weekend to go spoil dogs at the SPCA. Last weekend she went to see Mamma Mia! and then went out to dinner and then there was a gas leak (at the restaurant, not in my ma ape) and so it took really long because they had to evacuate. You'd think she'd learn her lesson but last night she abandoned me AGAIN to go out for sushi. Here's my feelings on the matter:

So this morning I demanded a good walkie! Here's my leadout crew.

I'm thinking about getting a chariot. Then they could pull Caesar Wally! Here's a bee that I saw. I thought it might be the one that stung Ernest but this guy swore innocence so I didn't rough him up.

I had to teach the Big O a thing or two about roachin'


He has so much to learn.


But then it was time for the big suck-up. Bones! Look--Oscar conserves energy by eating lying down.


I see the early signs of doofusism setting in.


So tasty. But then we were interrupted by THUNDER BOOMERS. Jerks.

There'd better be something good planned for next weekend. Bones, roaching, ice cream, walkies, and NO THUNDER BOOMERS.

By Pupular Demand

It has been raining for about 500 days straight. And I used to live in Seattle so I am used to the rain. This is rough, dudes. It has given me the opporchancitunity to take some more pictures of me with my hair did, as per the request of some of my biggest fans.

When I come inside I smell especially good.


And my ma ape loves it when I dry myself out on her yoga mats.


Mmmmm...meditation.

Here I am in my post-damp fuzz face:

And, just because, my bunny butt:

Yellow snow! Yellow snow! Yellow snow!

It's the first snow of the year. Ethel is not impressed. She has a bald patch from her stitchies so she's all chilly. She also a skinny minny who doesn't have a layer of chub to keep her warm.


I'm more excited about the snow even though my ma ape has not been listening to me about how I need to store up chub for the winter. Look at how skinny I am! I'll probably expire in the cold unless I start to eat more.


Now, I've been getting LOADS of mail and I'm supposed to save it to open closer to the holiday but I got one SPECIAL card from THRAWN of the Five Happy Hounds (and brother to my zaftig honey Sam) and I KNEW I had to open it immediately. Here's what it says on the outside:

Though the weather outside is frightful
Marking territory's so delightful!
There's no limit to where I'll go


YELLOW SNOW! YELLOW SNOW! YELLOW SNOW!


You know me so well Thrawn!

Thanks buddy!