Otis's Pit Boo Workout Routine

This week The New York Times ran a story called Forget the Treadmill Get a Dog about how DOGS are the best workout partners EVAH.  Much better than your fellow apes.  I have decided to monetize this idea to pay for some more snacks by developing an extra magnificent workout routine that you can do at home for the low low price of $1.99, deposited directly into my account at the pet food store.  Put on your legwarmers and headband and let's MOVE IT!

For these next moves I am going to recruit my friend and fitness model Blu from the Delaware SPCA.  Aaaaaannnnddd...

 JUMP!

 Yes, Blu is trying to catch mulch!

For perspective, that fence is a good 7 feet tall.

 And that ape getting the workout hurling the mulch is a good 6'3"

I totally could have done this maneuver but I thought I'd let Blu have his moment in the sun.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 
Now is a demonstration of how I get my heart racing for a little cardio.  

Hey ladies!  I get plenty of exercise in pursuit of love.  

 And now it is time for our cool down.

I recruited the little one for a demonstration of our cool down technique.  ICE CREAMS!  (Note how OBST is always lurking in the background.)

Slobber vigorously and swallow quickly to ensure total brain freeze, the appropriate end to a good cool down.

Did you enjoy this workout?  Then send me some money so I can buy more ice creams!

Wordless Wednesday (or, MMMMMMPPPH)

A Hot Guide to Staying Cool!

Our temperature today was ONE HUNDRED AND ONE! That is even bigger than ONE HUNDRED. Sohot. So we have put together a guide for staying cool which is important when you are wearing a fur coat and/or a manatee costume like Otis Potus.

First, don't let the heat build-up in your bits and frequently air out your pits and parts. FLYING through the air is the best way to chill out.

Don't neglect to cool out your cheeks.

But don't spend too much time in hot places like you brudder's mouth.

Unless that mouth has been pre-cooled with ISCREAM!

Indeed, cooling your mouth is key so don't use too much saucy language that heats it up.

And eat your IScream!


You can also grow your own cooling devices. As you can see here; here is a WALLYMELON in the WILD! And that wild is our garden!


Wallymelon is a delightful cooling device.

But you must be sure to get it ALL OVER for maximum cooling effect!


These are our tips. If it stays this hot for much longer we are looking into one of these get-ups:

Stay cool, dudes!

Holiday!

Did you know yesterday was a national holiday? In fact, it was one of our most important holidays: NATIONAL ICE CREAM DAY! That's a holiday I can get behind.

My ma ape found a new kind of ice cream made by the people who make the commercial raw we sometimes get. She thought it would be good for us because it is sweet potatoes and molasses.

We approve of the packaging. The dog paws say PAWS OFF, APES!

One for Wally.

One for the Bean Man (who had polished his off before pictures could be taken.)

And one for Ethel. Two, actually. She dropped her first one and a certain bratty teen stole it.

Here is my review:

LIP SMACKING GOOD. (Though, my ma ape sez, obscene expensive so she's going to make it for us herself next time.)

Another satisfied customer.


If you did not celebrate then you probably should do so immediately. I declare it GLOBAL ICE CREAM DAY so all my dog bloggy friends around the world an have a cuppa ice cream.

Visiting Hours Cancelled

Alas, my buds Sophie n' Stan could not make it from NYC to Dela-where. I think they were forced to reconsider when they realized what stood in the way: New Jersey! (Just kidding, Joisey folks!) So I have created this photo essay to illustrate for them what they will be missing:

Chillin' Out

Last week it was HOT and I taught you about beating the heat by roaching. Asta and her mom tried it out with mixed results (good for Asta, not as good for her mom) so I thought I would show you an even more effective method! It worked so well that it is chilled out all over here and is not hot in the outside anymore. I call this method ICE CREAM, I SCREAM!

The ma ape blended together some yogurt and peanut butter and bananas. And then she put it in the freezing box.

Sissy was skeptical.

But she gave it a shot and did not regret it. Alas we do not have any pictures of Oscar trying it because he just swallowed them whole. BRAIN FREEZE!


Here is how you do it properly. You scream.

I SCREAM!

WE ALL SCREAM!


Mmmmm. Ice Cream.

Ice Cream & Other Good Things!

OK, there have been a lot of OTHER DOGS stealing my blogthunder but I would like to take a moment to plug this raffle for the All God's Creatures Pitbull Rescue. My buddy Rulon, who is fostering the Five Happy Hounds, is helping with the raffle. Go Rulon!

And now I have to give a shout-out to my girl Narra and her brothers Jackson, Tuchuck, and Rousseau who brought us some DOG ICE CREAM:


Miss Priss Ethel did not want to eat it because it was made of fruitables and not meatables:

But the boys dug right in!


We heartily approve!

And we never look goofy while we eat:




And now it's time to work off that sugar rush!


Catch me if you can! (You can't.)