Thursday, April 14, 2005

cheeseheads gone mad

the state of wisconsin has decided to abandon a proposal to legalize the hunting of feral cats. having once been homeless myself i have to say that's not a very nice idea, even if it is goddamn cats and you're nice northern midwesterners. as an alternative, i would like to offer my goddamncat-catching services. i could send you video of me hunting my squeakies. no squeakie toy has ever gotten away from my grasp! will work for cheese.

no domestic dummies

my onkle eric was kind enough to send me "Clever Caninies" from the chronicle of higher education. i'm glad to see you eggheads are finally paying attention to we of higher intelligence. according to the article, previous claims that domestication made us dumber than our wolf anscestors are false, we're just hesitant to do tasks that naked apes have not told us to do. wolves dive in, we wait for permission or, better yet, for our naked ape companions to do it for us. that's not dumb, that's clever. indeed, we appear to have communication skills that may exceed even your primate cousins. i'm telling you, we canines don't get credit for our fine manipulation skills. thousands of years of domestication have taught us how to get what we want with minimal effort. one little wimper and my mawma is scampering to rub my belly, get me snacks, whatever. now that's higher intelligence.

Monday, April 11, 2005


look at this interesting article from the new york times magazine! it's about chimeras, or animals who are injected with other animals' tissue and become partially that other animal. like hairy apes with naked ape brain cells injected into their heads.

i bet you derrideans are just chewing on the ends of your pens waiting to get at this sentence from a bioethicist opposed to the practice--note it has slippage of singifier/signified AND stuff about coinage:

''It has to do with the relationship between signs and their meaning,'' he told me. ''Human appearance is something we should reserve for humans. Anything else that looks human debases the coinage of truth.''

i guess this means that you naked apes like things that look similar to you (like people tell me i'm cute because I look like an old man) but not exactly like you because it is confusing? or because it undermines your belief in the absolute uniqueness of naked apes? i guess it disrupts your ability to recognize the Other (as other) and, thereby, yourself as Self. it must be complicated being a naked ape and preserving your fantasies of the coinage of truth. i just have to worry about which squeakie i want to play with next. maybe the human shaped one?

Sunday, April 10, 2005

apes apes everywhere

wally's latest ape
Originally uploaded by cerasmus.
look! a new toy! yet another ape. my onkle eric and auntie ira got this for me in chicago because they were devastated that i didn't come with, or instead of, my mama. i also got a squeakie bottle of jack daniels. and some beef jerky. in other words, i'm not as mad at my mawma for leaving me.

back from chicago

elephant and family in repose
Originally uploaded by cerasmus.
my editor/mawma was away in chicago and i was unable to blog without someone to correct my spelling and grammar (which is bad only because my paws sometimes hit too many keys, not because i'm a dog). she visited the zoo so she could see the hairy apes. poor naked apes, so ugly next to your furry cousins. i understand there was also some sort of conference of naked apes talking about themselves.
this is my oncle eric and auntie ira at the zoo. more on them with my next post.