Tragedy Tuesday

Well, this was an unexpected turn of events.  Our ape got out the furminator and she brushed and brushed and brushed Ethel.  And it turns out, underneath the mounds and mounds of fur....NOTHING!

Ed and I bravely combed through the mounds of floof.  Nada.

Alas, poor Ethel, we brushed her (too) well.

I'm a Snooze Man

I became a bit concerned about the comments in our last blog post when many commenters mistook my obvious superior comportment for a lack of energy. I would just like to assure all my friends, especially the ladies, that I am quite spry for an old guy. Note how I feel the groove with my most large head which takes much energy to bob to the beat.



As this song by the nice fellow Rufus Thomas would imply, I am awake for at least 60 minutes a day.

Great Google-y Moogly!

Otis the Potus here.  This week I decided to check the little Doohickey McThing on our blog that tells us what searches people are performing in order to arrive at our blog.  This was a terrible idea as it revealed to me what you naked apes are thinking.  You are all awful, really the worst.  Here is what I saw via this little window into your minds:


Rent a Dog

Rent?  No you may own.  Take this dog on the left, please.

Terrible mothers in history and Mommy Dearest

Looking for our ma ape, we see.

Wally lane.

Yes, we live on Wally Lane, though for some reason the pizzas I order to have delivered here never quite make it.

Everybody loves a big ass.

This is true.  Junk, meet trunk.


Snow Wally.

We've got that.

Pooly Dogs

Is this what you're looking for?  My brother in his bathing garb?

Identifying a mutt test

Trying to get smarter?  OK, here's your test:  Which dog is a handsome devil?  (A: Trick question, handsome on the right, devil on the left.)

Another test:  Which mutt is a lady?  (Another trick question:  Neither.  My sissy is no lady!)  


Crime against animality:  Our ape was delighted that the first page this phrase leads you to is an article by Jacques Derrida, granddad of deconstruction.  The second link was us.  We're pretty sure this is what Mr. Derrida was referring to:

Mango ness


WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Oh my.  Coming to our blog looking for a pair of mangoes?

 Or wondering how this handsome brindle boy displays his resemblance to Mango?

All right, all right.  We know from your USUAL searches you are looking for that Mango-ness that none of us gentlemen here have.  The Mango Ness:

 All right, naked apes, there are your search results.  Now you can get back to your googling of bottoms and sheppys in bikinis and what I know you were looking for.

Summertime Chefs

We would like to share with you some of our favorite summertime delicacies for the belly-cacies.  Enjoy!

About a Boy

Ethel writes AGAIN!  My brudders were quite mad that I got MY OWN BLOG POST with my OWN THEME SONG.  So I promised them I would make a PHOTO ESSAY about my brudders along with their very own THEME SONG.  Here it goes!

Ethel STILL ROOLS. Boys STILL DROOL (seriously, look at Oscar's froth!)

Oscar's Night!

My friends.  I come to you with news most alarming.

It has set our young brother a'howlin'.

Even Ethel is quiet and contemplative. 

We are wary and uncertain.

You see, we have heard that tonight is The Oscars.

 The OscarS?

You mean to tell us there's MORE THAN ONE???

We are doomed for sure.  Well, we will watch with great trepidation, though we can't WAIT to see what the corgis from The King's Speech are wearing.

The Last Annual Buffalo Hunt!

We are ready for some FOOTBALL. Today is a most exciting day as the Nebraska Cornhuskers will be hunting (Colorado) Buffalo one last time! Since our teams are both going to different con-fur-ences next year there will be no more Ralphie snacking. Ah well! We are most nervous for this game since if the Huskers win they will go to their con-fur-ence chompionship! If they lose...let's not talk about it!

We are also nervous because the Cornhuskers lost last week after getting 40 gajillion penalties called on them (many of them questionable) and this is what our coach turned into. Scary, huh? BO SMASH!

So we are getting ready by playing a little footie in our backyard. Ethel is the only one who ever gets the ball but the rest of us run around aimlessly and occasionally fall down. Like real football!

And we are practicing our wrap-up tackles! (Throw a flag on OBST! Illegal use of girth!)

Otis is on the lookout for shady referees! (He's undercover in his ref-ing stripes!)

And Edgrr might have been doing a little too much pre-gaming.*

We wrote a song for the occasion of Nebraska's last regular season game as a member of the Big 12!

To be sung to the tune of Home on the Range

Oh yes give us a home

Where no Buffalo roam

Where some Badgers and Buckeyes do play

Where there seldom are heard Tigers or Jayhawk birds

And the sun never shines on Longhorns

Home home is Big Ten!

Where the Huskers and Hawkeyes will play!

Where there seldom are heard Booming Sooners Boo Hoos

And the sun never shines on Longhorns!

*No corgis were intoxicated in the making of this post.

Presented without Comment

Music Lesson

You might think that because I am advanced in years I am not hip to what the kids are doing and listening to these days but you could NOT be more wrong.



Indeed I am so hip that I am not just privy to Lady Gaga but to Lady Gaga covers. See:



(H/T Sophie Brador's ape.)

And those of you who are not as down with the kids may not know but me and my sibs are the topic of the new Britney song "3"



If you listen carefully to the lyrics you can hear "Countin' One Two Three/Ethel Oscar Wally/The Greatest Doggies/Everybody loves..." I'm sure this video is just goofin' and she'll soon be shooting the REAL video with One Two Three Ethel Oscar Wally!



This has been your lesson in Kids These Days.

My apologies.

I sincerely apologize for my baby brudder's profane post. He's so gross.

Here's how civilized dogs behave:

Look! Conjoined twins!


The Odd Couple.
And here is my entry in Top Design. The "Garden Hose Bed."


And me, about to barf!

That's totally not gross!

What is my ma ape not telling me?

From watching this clip I can only conclude that either 1) Jon Stewart caught giardi-butt from my ma ape/Oscar or 2) Stephen Colbert is sending secret messages to her.



My ma ape is hoping it is the latter though she has not yet decoded the message.

Optical illusion

Look! It's the world's longest dog!

Sunrise

And they say the sun does not shine out of my a**.

I am the Wallyrus

I have been told that with a pair of tusks I could be a dead ringer...


...for a certain sea beast with a name suspiciously similar to my own.


And after watching this I'm inspired to work on my dancing skills.