Lipstick on the Collar

My ma ape came home smelling like other animals again on Saturday. She goes to the SPCA and takes pictures of pets for their Petfinder page and then she walks them and plays with them. This time she showed me some of her pictures before I stumbled on them myself.

This is wee Gracey who is a baby pit bull and think she is a human baby who needs burping:


Ahhhhhh! Demon cat!


And this dude is Monty. His head is, like, the size of ME.


And he is a goofball extraordinaire.


Also the dog in the front is free to good home. Maybe even a mediocre home. HA! Penny, do you want her for your burpday??

Look!

Meet Mac! She is at the Columbia Humane Society that adopts out only the finest pooches. Here is Mac's description:

Sweet Sweet Mac! She is so sweet that a generous donor has paid her adoption fee. Mac is loving and you WANT to be able to get the chance to be around her. The spice in Mac is her playful side. At first she is just so excited to get your attention that she is a hyper little thing. Just be patient with her, she calms down after a while and really wants to be a lap dog. However, she isn’t’ really “lap dog” size. But SHHHH… don’t let her know, you might just break her little heart. What Mac could use is a family wanting to give her love and willing to play with her often!

Do you know who that generous donor is? GRAMMIE! She sponsored Mac for my Burpday! Thanks Grammie! I am especially touched because Mac looks an awful lot like my sissy Morgan (RIP Morgan!) who adopted ME! Sniff. I'm touched!

The Wathel

I was browsing Petfinder, as I like to do, to do pre-emptive strikes against all the dogs my ma ape wants to adopt and give MY snacks to. I discovered a disturbing trend. What do you see here???

Tater Tot in Nebraska.





Stubby in Texas.





AJ in Louisiana.




Cody in Georgia.




Tesla, in Vermont.





Lucille, in D.C.



It's WATHELS!!!!! At first I was concerned it might have something to do with this:


But I have been neutered. And sissy has been spayed. Twice. And she never puts on weight so she could never hide a baby bump. And also, I never actually get into even the general vicinity of the, um, appropriate bits.

And then I realized. Someone is doing a genetic experiment. Like cloning only combining our DNA. They must be stopped. Cuz no way am I paying all that child support.

I WANT

Meet BEAR (not the one in the Brat Pack.) He lives at the ASPCA in New York City and I found him on my daily trolling of Petfinder. Do you think he knows the Animal Precinct cops? I have been making the case for awhile that I need two things. 1) A monkey butler 2) a dog to pull Caesar Wally around in his chariot. THIS IS THE DOG. He is like a giant, droopier me. And there's nothing I love more than me. It's a maxi-me!

It's ME! Only different.

Yes, this dog, Onyx, is quite handsome but is not ME. Can you believe it? He's a corgador for adoption in Maryland. I need it! He could join my dog/hairy ape alliance to overthrow the naked apes! I would raise him as my own!

And listen to his description:

Onyx is an adorable 11 month old Corgi mix with a sense of humor. He is playful and fun loving and thinks he is one of the big dogs! Neutered, housetrained, UTD on everything. Loves kids, dogs, and other pets.

Friday's Corgador

Look! This guy's name is shorty. He would like a home in the DC area.

Also, please change his name. We are not short just because we do not have FREAKISHLY long legs.

Bonus Sunday Corgador!

It's rainy, it's miserable--what a better time to browse for new corgadors! This one is Zippy in Pottsville, PA.

Moo Moo is listed as a Newfie/Shepherd mix at a New Jersey puppy rescue. My ma ape speculates this is what I looked like as a wee one--complete with milk moustache.

Friday's Corgadors

Meet Zachary! He's actually a Sharporgi (or maybe a Porgi Bull Terror?) Cute, eh?

Look at these puppies! They used to be homeless in Alabama but now they're in New Jersey (poor, poor puppies--ha! Kidding!) and looking for new homes. My ma ape finds chunky legs/feet irresistible so someone please go adopt them before she can get her grubby paws on them and puts me on babysitting duty!

An Easter Corgador

Meet Cecil. He's a corgador in Arlington, VA. His legs are so short they're almost just feet! AWESOME!

Friday's Corgadors

Some of my best friends like Miss Sunshade and Maggie have gotten new BABIES in their houses, Nanook is thinking about getting a new brother and I am worried that my ma ape has puppy fever! Sadly, I cannot make any puppies because my previous reproductive capacities were rudely stolen, a great loss for the civilized world. So I trolled Petfinder to find potential heirs. Here's what I found!


This gal is Bindi, a wee girl in North Carolina. Her coloring suggests an Aussie and her stumpy legs say CORGI.

This wee feller is Blake. His coloring looks an awful lot like mine and he has wee stumpy legs and a square-ish head. Also he looks like he's bringing the sassy back. I can get behind that.


Roo. He's Bindi's bro. I picked him out for his chubby paws! They will be useful in the future for prying away snacks from the ma ape, not because chubby paws can be used for grabbing but because when she sees them the ma ape says "oh, that's so cute" and gives snacks.


Oops! This no puppy but an old man! But we old guys got look out for one another. This smiley guy is Nolan. I could use an older, wiser pal to help raise the baby Wallies.

Let's liberate these corgadors!

friday's corgadors

I have been neglecting my fellow corgadors so to cheer myself up I thought I'd find some funny looking corgadors (broadly defined!) available on Petfinder! Don't forget to adopt them.

Meet Amelia.

She is a corgi/rottenweiler mix! Look how broad and short she is.
This is Zoro. She LOOKS like my sis and I had a baby but we didn't--you perverts!

a boo-dog buffet

i usually troll petfinder for my fellow corgadors who are looking for homes but today i was missing my boo, studly dudley so i was looking to see if maybe he was naughty and his mum put him up for adoption. (answer: no. she's selfish and just because she loves him n' stuff she won't let me have him! sigh i will have to pine from afar). i did find some needy boo-dogs, though:


humphrey

preston


vallie

babette


my stud, the b.c. babe.

be sure to have some snacks and fart a little for me today, dudley!

i NEED it

i've been TELLING my naked apes that i need a little personal assistant to take care of my appointments, fetch me bullies, help clean my eye boogers, etc. and here's the perfect one. seamus is at an spca right near me! and my mean mawma says i can't have him just because i would probably try to bite him because i'm a grumpy old man. harumph. seamus would understand. look at his name--he's irish--so we could commiserate about the goddamn british over a guinness and mayo chips (which he would fetch and i would eat). when the mail carrier comes today i will bark madly at her like usual and then i will ask her if there's a box in her truck with my name on it containing seamus! and mayo chips. i really need the mayo chips.

corgador in time for my burpday!

all i want for my burpday is a mini-me!* all right, she's likely to be a maxi-me because she is listed as a newfie mix. her name is mallie (rhymes with wally!) and she would make a perfect burpday gift (hint hint, mawma!)

*ps. "all i want" is just a figure of speech. i still want things i can put in my mouth--food, bones, and fuzzies, please.

not my babies!

baby corgadors in yakima, washington (better known as possible birthplace of wally!) someone get these dashing young men a home!

baby corgador!

max-a-million is a corgador pup in west chester, pa. someone please adopt him quickly because SOMEONE has been eyeing him, especially since my friend buster is getting a new girl at his house and miss sunshade even has a stinky. i understand that we corgadors are irresistible as both puppies and old men so someone, please, before i have a new brother! here's his description:

Meet 'Max'-A-Million the wonder pup!
Poor Max got off to a ruff start in life. Lucky for him though, a good samaritan was approached by a homeless man who asked for help with his dog. He explained that he could not afford to feed the pup and begged her to take Max. The truth be told, Max is a butterball so it was the man who was not eating. The woman took Max as asked and contacted All Things Pawssible for help.
Max has now been bathed, has been to the Vet for a checkup, received his first shots and had a flea treatment. He is healthy and guessed to be 8-10 weeks old. He is currently 4.9 pounds and will probably be 40-45 pounds when full grown. He is a Corgi mix but the other part of the mix remains a mystery. Max is adorable, loving and healthy.

corgadors in need!

here's some more lovely corgadors from petfinder, available for adoption!

this lovely lady is daisy. she's just a baby corgador in western pa.



mr. ernie rocks the house in rockville, md. i can't believe he doesn't have a home yet! this description could be me!

Ernie is an endearing fellow with an improbable, one of a kind, delightful appearance. He is long backed and big-headed, and he trots about on sturdy and stocky legs. His eye contact is open, soft and honest; he is a nuzzler and a snuggler.

for your consideration....

here's today's corgador, ready for adoption! but, you say, this is a boo-dog in a bathtub! technically, yes, but he is an honorary corgador for today. why? because he needs a new home and his description on petfinder made my mawma all teary. (i didn't ask why she was looking on petfinder--and at boodogs--but she is a bit of a slut and will fall in love with any dog no matter how weird looking). so, some nice lady (he doesn't like boys) needs to adopt him:

Bubba is a 5 year old male bulldog in great health. Unfortunately, he has not had a very great life. He is fearful of men and can only be placed in an all-female household (no exceptions). We can only speculate what has happened to him since he can't speak english (how we wish he could)! We know he was tied to a porch for some time and he does not like being tied up or restrained. He is very good on a leash however. We also know that he has been in few homes in his lifetime, so we want his next home to be the last. Bubba is very sweet, loving and affectionate but has shown signs of fear aggression when being reprimanded by men. He is going to need a very dedicated and loving new home that is willing to work with an animal behaviorist to ensure that he and his new owner can understand each other's communications. He needs someone with time and patience who is willing to grow the bonds of love and trust. He needs to be secure in knowing that he will not be hurt again. He gets along with other animals just fine, but we prefer he be the only dog in the home. He also seems to like children, but because of the fact that he needs to be handled with care, he will not be placed in a home with children. He has a lot to offer - he gives kisses and hugs, and is learning to play with toys. He LOVES to go in the car for trips to the pet store or the park. He's very physically fit and active (you might think he's much younger than 5). Do you have the home this sweet boy needs? A forever home? If so, please fill out an application and learn about our rescue group at heavensentbulldogrescue.com. Bubba's adoption will be limited to the NJ/PA/NY area. Please visit http://www.heavensentbulldogrescue.com to complete an application, and send it to us at hsrescue@aol.com.