Wally had a Little Lamb!

My ma ape said I should not brag about all my giftables in ONE POST because it looks DECADENT! So I will give you just a bit at a time, starting with the best bit! Look at the star leading the wise men to bring gifts to a special wee lad! (Or it is the sun. Wevs. We all know time around here is divided into B.W. and LHMBOW--before Wally and Life Has Meaning Because of Wally)

My ma ape wanted to get me something special for my meatable eatables and so she got me a LAMB BUTT:

My brudder usually eats in his crate so as soon as he saw the BUTT he went and ran in his crate ready for action:


My ma ape had to chop it up and we had a big pile of the meatables!

We not only got special lambuttables but we got fed by hand:

Lambutt for peppy sheppys.

Lambutt for the Wally!


My ma ape even sustained injuries! And, just for the record, WE did not inflict the wound. The ma ape had a hard time getting the meats off the bones and we nearly had raw meaty ma ape!

Here's the ape food. The other ape had ham-ables and the ma ape had wheat "meatables" and then they had root vegetables with balsamic/maple glaze and some cherry/walnut stuffing and pumpkin bisque soups. I think our din dins were better. Most def bloodier!


Merry Christmas, buds! I hope you all had a holiday as wonderful as a pile of butt!

I've got mail!

My ma ape is totes jealous because I got loads of mail this week and all she gets is bills and ads for stuff she doesn't want. I got an e-mail from HER friend Alice.

And I got a postcard from Oregon! My Grammie and Moco and Dawson thought I needed a reminder of what the Pacific Ocean looks like.

And then I got mail from O-Hi-O. My friends at Jackman Ave had told me about A Place for Paws where they make the raw meaties so you don't have to get them from the meat industrial complex so I took my ma ape's plastic and hit the Internets! A week later:

That is 100 pounds of meat! Most of it went into the freezy box:

And the some of it was dehydrated like this:

I had to sample some items like the chicken feet. I took these picture for my GranNE who hates chickens because she used to be a microbiologist (though I don't think she's that small--she's like my ma ape's height) and had to take blood from the chickens and they tried to draw blood from her:

They taste great GranNE! I would even share with you!

Or not. Thanks for the meatie suggestion, Sherman! And I highly recommend A Place for Paws! They were totally fast and TASTY.

The Fourth of Joooooo-ly.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The fourth of July is a mixed bag as holidays go. On the one hand, I hate the goddamn firecrackers and they make me feel like this:

I mean, my ma ape was so scared she had to sleep on the floor with me and she was shaking so hard it made ME shake. Jeez. But then there are also a lot of snackables and grilling outside that makes me feel like this:

Like these. These are mojitos!

And look at this! A vegetable salad and a steak! And that steak was for US! But there was one steak for THREE dogs. How does that make sense? I'm telling you--no one around here can do math but me.

And look! Here is where part of our Wallymelon went. Into the biggest fruit salad in the WORLD.

And some of it went here--Oscar's first Wallymelon.

We all ate some, especially me.

And while the food was a-grillin' we got BONES.


Oscar loved his.


But he was very protective of it.


While I savored mine like a gentleman.


Now leave me alone with my din-dins, pooperazzi. It's like the damn Ivy around here. (pssst--did you get my good side?)

Petition for Redress of Grievances

My ma ape is not world renowned for her math skills. But she appears to have a great deal of confusion when it comes to the dinner time. See, Oscar gets THREE chicken backs, Ethel gets TWO, and I get.....ONE!!!

What is wrong with this picture?

As you can see--I am the smallest and thus I should be getting the most chicken backs so I can grow bigger! Duh.

And as you can see, my brother is a snotty teenager:

Real original. He doesn't know how to do the tongue maneuver with panache.

Boredom tongue:

The tongue of disdain:


The tongue of mild annoyance.

Jeez. Will that kid ever learn?

What a weekend!

When we adopted Oscar they said he was 11 months and it is now almost a month later so we arbitrarily decided that this is Oscar's Burpday Weekend! It just happened to coincide with the big sale at the local pet store. And my burpday is the 22nd (of February) so it's easy to remember.

Here's the burpday boy!

We got this started with BANG on our Saturday morning walk when we were walking by a house with an 8 foot wooden fence and suddenly--a pit bull came over the fence! Yowza! We SHOUTED AT HIM and he was completely nonplussed and just stared at us so Ethel decided to try to pin him! And still he didn't care! And my ma ape realized that collectively we weigh more than her so pulling us away was hard but she did and just when we got across the street someone pulled out of his collar and jumped on the pit's back---ME! Yeah, I'm tuff. And a little dumb. But no one got hurt. Except my ma ape's ticker. We didn't get any pictures of the event but here's what my ma ape looked like:



Also my ma ape decided to start the O-Man on a raw diet. Do you think he likes it?

He needs to learn to eat with dignity:

He and sissy stopped rasslin' for at least 5 seconds. (This is totally gross but they SMOOCH all the time! Like Frenching. Totes gross! And wait until I tell you about the humping).



And we got to go to the field to play!

And the O-Man did a little relaxin'.

But no one knows the art of the Sunday morning R&R like Wally:


And then it was time for ICE CREAM. This is doggie ice cream. Because my ma ape is a sucker for marketing (she says in the future she will stick to considerably cheaper homemade frosty paws):


The O-Man got some Paw-nut Crunch:

Ethel got an ice cream headache from the PawNut Swirl:


While I had a bite of the ole Snickerpoodle:

And we've heard the Cuz hype but no one in the house was mad about rubber toys but the O-Man got a DEVIL CUZ and he loves it:

And look at this drawer! That'll keep us in snacks for at least a week!


And here's a shot to finish the weekend:

Happy Burpday OSCAR!

Diet Diary: Day Two

The diet continues. See how happy I am?


I am so hungry I have been reduced to eating grass!


This morning I ate so much grass I barfed two times. I asked my ma ape if I developed an eating disorder if she'd give me more food. She rolled her eyes at me.

So I'm working out. Some jumping.


And jogging.

I hope I don't pass out from the hunger.