Giving Thanks!

Hello to my bloggy friends and family! I am overexposed in this photo to wish you all a happy thanksgiving. This year I am thankful for my ticker that takes a licking and keeps on ticking. For my brudder and sister who protect me from harm, usually from myself. And for my apes who think I'm the bee's knees even when I'm stubborn and get up at 3 a.m. and even when I need my ma ape to sleep on the floor with me during the thunderstorms. I am also grateful for all of my friends who leave me wonderful comments (and especially my girlfriends and my bromances) even when I'm lazy and can't get around to visiting everyone. And I am also grateful for a new Thanksgiving tradition we started this year...


Lambs and yams! My ma ape has been meaning to get me something special-like for the holidays and this year she got me A LAMB LEG!

Look at Oscar! He's squinching his eyes so he can open them up and be sure he's not dreaming.

Here's a perspective photo so you can see how big the leg is (or, conversely, how short I am). Ma ape, I think the leg goes the other way round.

Here it is cut up and in our dinner bowls--lambs and yams!

Yup--that's the Wally bowl! With my lamb prepared just how I like it--RAW!

Ethel enjoyed hers.


Oscar is ecstatic.
I could have nommed all day on that leg!

And this is what apes eat:

It is tofurkey and mushroom gravies and stuffings and yamnapples and brussels sprouts. And also champagne from Washington state which is also where my ma ape found me.


I hope everyone had a thanksgiving as wonderful as mine.

Cap & Trade, Wally Style!

Cap and trade is a climate control measure in which businesses, essentially, pay a tax on profits garnered from polluting practices. It's all the rage in the new climate change control measures. If you pollute under the cap you can "sell" the remainder to other companies.

Well, my ma ape has been reading stories about the environmental impact of pets like this article about how cats are RUINING THE OCEANS by eating overfarmed fish (I've known they were ruining the world for YEARS). Or this article about how some people are making their pets vegan to reduce their carbon footprints.

As some of you may know, my ma ape makes like a rabbit. She's been a vegetarian since she was a teenager (at least 470 decades ago) and is now a vegan. And she worries about all of the pollution we make (especially in her personal air space after eating a particularly large dinner). But she also agrees with this:

"With humans, of course, we believe that whether or not to consume meat is a personal and private choice. With our pets, of course, we're deciding for them," said Mindy Bough, senior director for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "Someone has to look at their own personal views and work with a veterinarian to make sure nutritional deficiencies aren't occurring."

So she decided to let us play a role in deciding and she gave us a choice: delicious rosemary tofu served with mushroom gravy on cauliflower and garlic mash or Cornish Hens? Our choice was unanimous:


HENS, PLEASE! (Actually, two of us chose both.)

So we're going to do a little cap and trade where the ma ape will try to make her carbon footprint SMALLER so that our little greedy footprints can be BIGGER!

Ma Ape/Dogaboos:

Vegan/Raw and home prepared meals
More locally grown foods /More meatables from local sources
GARDENING!/ Eating tomatoes from the garden--NOM NOM
Commute by bike/As many walks as our twelve feets will carry us on
Canvas bags/Recycled poo bags (Oscar has offered to EAT our waste. This is being negotiated. Ma Ape's opening offer: STOP THAT!)
Composting/Leaving fresh organic materials for composting

Does anyone have any more suggestions for our cap and trade program? Also, I am looking for ways to reduce my brudder's gaseous emissions. I have come to accept the hot air coming out of the ma ape's mouth is inevitable.

Wally had a Little Lamb!

My ma ape said I should not brag about all my giftables in ONE POST because it looks DECADENT! So I will give you just a bit at a time, starting with the best bit! Look at the star leading the wise men to bring gifts to a special wee lad! (Or it is the sun. Wevs. We all know time around here is divided into B.W. and LHMBOW--before Wally and Life Has Meaning Because of Wally)

My ma ape wanted to get me something special for my meatable eatables and so she got me a LAMB BUTT:

My brudder usually eats in his crate so as soon as he saw the BUTT he went and ran in his crate ready for action:


My ma ape had to chop it up and we had a big pile of the meatables!

We not only got special lambuttables but we got fed by hand:

Lambutt for peppy sheppys.

Lambutt for the Wally!


My ma ape even sustained injuries! And, just for the record, WE did not inflict the wound. The ma ape had a hard time getting the meats off the bones and we nearly had raw meaty ma ape!

Here's the ape food. The other ape had ham-ables and the ma ape had wheat "meatables" and then they had root vegetables with balsamic/maple glaze and some cherry/walnut stuffing and pumpkin bisque soups. I think our din dins were better. Most def bloodier!


Merry Christmas, buds! I hope you all had a holiday as wonderful as a pile of butt!

Seasons Eatings!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays combining FOOD and FOOTBALL. Mmmmm. One for eating, one for napping. Also the apes are home all day cooking tastyables. Oh was I ready.

Here's the spread for the apes. They ate (left to right) Apple/Pear/Walnut/Fake Snausage Stuffing and Sweet Taterables with Apples and Gravyables and Tofurkey with Vegetables n' Cherries. Yes, they are totes weird. And I keep telling my ma ape she could save a lot of time cooking if they went raw like us.


Here's what it looks like on the plate. I think my ma ape scores a 0 for presentation on Iron Wally.
And here's the spread for the dogables! (Scratch the gravy!) We got QUAIL from CANADA (yes, our dinner was almost more expensive than the apes'!) with a side of sweet taterables.

Oscar tried to sneak his too early. The quail (there are two here) look like mini turkeys!

Gobble gobble! Ethel ate the fastest and the ma ape couldn't get a non-blurry photo of her.

Bean Man was a close second and then the RUDE DUDE stole one of my quail so the ma ape had to steal it back (or part of it) right from his mouth! How rude.

Here I am taking my time and savoring the tastiness. Compliments to the chef!

I shared my tasty taters with my brudder. Good karma.


And tomorrow we get special treats because it is the most important football game of the YEAR because the Huskers are playing the stinkin' buffaloes so we're having buffalo bones!!!!!

Petition for Redress of Grievances

My ma ape is not world renowned for her math skills. But she appears to have a great deal of confusion when it comes to the dinner time. See, Oscar gets THREE chicken backs, Ethel gets TWO, and I get.....ONE!!!

What is wrong with this picture?

As you can see--I am the smallest and thus I should be getting the most chicken backs so I can grow bigger! Duh.

And as you can see, my brother is a snotty teenager:

Real original. He doesn't know how to do the tongue maneuver with panache.

Boredom tongue:

The tongue of disdain:


The tongue of mild annoyance.

Jeez. Will that kid ever learn?