From the Heartland!

This Saturday was the greaterest! Big Red got adopted AND NOT BY MY APES. (Whew!) And then when they got home there was a package! From my GranNE! It was ostensibly to send the ma ape a pair of shoes but as you can see GranNE had many things to send, most of them for a certain corgador.

There were Husker Christmas ornaments and a Husker handtowel and one...two...three stuffies! My GranNE said a stuffy for each dog but I think she knows. All your stuffies are belong to WALLY. (Yes, Wally is aware of all Internet traditions)


There was even a tee that belonged to my ma ape when she was wee! And Husker Santa. Who is also a snowman. Go figure. And a Canananananandana Goose that HONKED so I bit it at least 200 times in a row. HONKHONK! I think my GranNE was hinting she'd like to move to Cananadana with me.


But my favorite to play with his this BIG headed MONKEY.


Perfect fit!


Great job with the gifts, GranNE! We were so happy we did DOG PILE on the Ma APe!

And then it was time for a little FOOTBALL! It was Hoosers vs Cyclones and those Iowegians didn't stand a chance.
Here I am teaching my brudder how you max and relax during the game. Relax, dude, they got this one!


Hoosker Heaven, GranNE Gifts, and a home for Big Red! What a day, what a day.

Oh. My. Dog.

Many things this week have been shocking. The collapse of several financial houses. Karl Rove saying McCain's ads went "too far." The makeover show on America's Next Top Model. But nothing could have prepared me for THIS excitement.

A box.

On our doorstep.

My ma ape was confused--she did order a new iPod shuffle but surely the box would not be so big.

Or from Oregon.

Oh. My. Dog.

You must wait to see because right now I am occupied with a BOX OF MONKEYS.

House Gone Mad

Well, it's official. The inmates are in charge of the asylum. Our house is officially gone to the dogs.

Do you see wee Oscar has found somewhere to rest his tired, tired paws?

One problem--it's ME!!!!


And the other two think they're coupla sharks.

Lockjaw! (Hey--what's Wally doing back there--tee hee!)


At least in a world gone mad I will always have monkey stick.

Who's Got a Monkey Stick? I DO!

I would like to become an official spokesdog for the Monkey Stick. Not only does it honk and squeak with particular efficiency at 4 a.m., it also is a multi tasker.

Monkey Stick Pillow:


Monkey Stick Snuggler:


When you tired to hold up your head while you chew your monkey stick, Monkey Stick is a head holder:


And you can even use it for Monkey Stick Smooch Practicer:

Mutual of Omaha's Wild America

Camoflaging himself amongst the monkey sticks, the corgador lies in wait, biding his time until he pounces on their honkers.

Wally's Randay!

Today is Randay! It's the day where Randay gets to do whatever she wants and what she wants is for ME to do whatever I want. I really needed a good day because yesterday my ma ape had to WORK and she left us alone and then the apes went out for sushi and they were gone forEVER because the car broke. I was mad even though it was the car's fault because, really, they should have taken me for sushi.

But the apes made it up to me! First, JApe brought me a new MONKEY STICK! LOOK! It's orang-a-stick!



And--get this--it's like three feet tall! That's as tall as my ma ape, I think! And Orang-a-stick has a HUUUUGE honker so I'll be able to wake up the apes.


Then we got to go to the field where sissy caught a bald eagle!


Just kidding! She did find this feather, though.

I did some doga. This is upward facing dog--how's my form, granny?


And then a little neck twist.

And again! With tail twist!


And then with my doga super meditation mind I levitated my sissy! Look!


Ahhh...then a little corpse pose. Even my jowls are relaxing.


Yup, we played and played until I puked (true story!)


Ah.....what a day.

Pawlitical Savvy!

Do you guys know who THIS handsome devil is? It's LENNY, the terrier who is terrin' up Indiana. He's one of my newest buds AND I couldn't EVEN believe it when I got a PACKAGE from Indiana! From Lenny! (If you hadn't figured that out).


Like me, Lenny is barkin' for Barack. And so Lenny sent me a prezzie!
The card said that her ma ape thought my ma ape might like some Barack Buttons.


But I think they look quite lovely on MONKEY STICK (I passed on having them pinned to my chest).


Here we are shouting "YES WE CAN (have more snacks)!!!"


Yup, Obama has captured the vital monkey stick and corgador demographics. Thanks Lenny!

And if you missed Barack's speech today--here he is! If you hear any honking and squeaking in the background, that's just Monkey Stick. He gets excited sometimes.

Butts are breaking everywhere!

ANOTHER butt has broken in our house. And while many of you expressed appreciation that we did not post pictures of sissy's pus butt, this time I decided that everyone needs to see the carnage.



The moosebutt is on the loose!


My ma ape says that two butts exploding in close proximity to me is HIGHLY suspicious. But I say--does this face look guilty to YOU?

Some Points of Clarification

So in my last post some WISE A$$es pointed out that 1) that picture is in London 2) my ma ape is not a dude 3) she probably drives a jalopy of a newer vintage. Indeed, it was not an accurate representation of events. Fair enough. Her junker is sitting in a much less interesting location and, we hope, is not smoking. However, I will have you know that my sissy and I were so good. Some things we did not do (which we may have done last visit my the grandparents):

1) bite gramps
2) go through the grandparents' luggage, strew toiletries across floor
3) steal a granola bar from previous mentioned luggage
4) growl at granny
5) jump repeatedly on granny (that one is not MY fault)

The one thing we DID do was to open up a tin of sardines but that was not really bad because we were trying to be good and make our own dinner. There also may have been a little of this:

in front of granny and gramps. But while they acted disgusted I know they loved it. Just like sissy.

And if I were not SO GOOD would my granny have brought me this?

I will tell you more about their visit later. Should my ma ape ever get her car back and in working order.

Weekend Cleaning

My ma ape said that we have to clean the house before Granny (with an N for Nebraska) gets here. This could be a monumental task and the ma ape said that we will need all paws on deck.

Sissy was alarmed but volunteered to rid the yard of squirrels. Gee thanks, sissy.


I wanted to work on the ambience so I got out one of my oldest and bestest friends, the bungee corgi:

Bungee Corgi came all the way from Seattle! And is still--miraculously--in one piece. We have heart to hearts from time to time to discuss life as a short-legged dude. He is the strong, silent type and is an excellent listener.


I think Granny (N for Needing Snacks, Granny!) will like to meet B.C. He's the kind of friend you can really sink your teeth into.

Busted!

The horrible carnage of squeaky toys has been blamed on a single culprit, the Wally.


Surveillance footage from this morning indicates he may have a partner in crime.


A weenie wailing accomplice, it seems.


The horror! The horror!

Oh crap, that's ma ape with the camera.

The Big Ape Lives!

While he shall never honk again, my ape was able to re-stuff the ape. He is now FrankenApe (Apenstein?), returned from the dead. My ma ape has suggested I may have to wear him around my neck to forever testify to my sin. Like the Scarlet Letter. A Monkey on My Back.

Update on the Big Honking Ape

Some of you (Lorenza and Poppy) have expressed some concern about the well-being of Big Honking Ape (my supersweet prezzie from Sparky) because of the copious amounts of stuffing in the picture with him. Have no fear! The stuffing was the innies of my old weenie who has been bisected and his insides thoroughly inspected. (Note: photo may be disturbing to those who insist on intact stuffies and/or wiener dogs. Lorenza and Luckie--avert your eyes!)

Here is my old wiener, now in TWO parts (though, sadly, I must report that unlike worms, wieners cannot live after being cut in two). Also in this picture is Skelweenie (The Big Bone) who is healthy and thriving and laughing at Dead Weenie.


Here I am with my handiwork!


And here I am with Big Honking Ape--still in good shape!


And ready to play!

And I have found that his Honking noise is even COOLER at 5 a.m. when one or both apes are trying to sleep. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK.