Meet ME, Oscrrrrrrrrrrr

Yo dudes!



MG! It's me--OSCRRRRRRRR.

Wally sez I can blog but it's only cuz we've been arguing because I want to get my own MYSPACE but Wally sez I'll just stay up all night hitting on chicks who are really creepy weirdos. It sounds AWESOME.

This is me with big brudder Wally and Monkey Stick and piles of stuffy innards:

Wally teaches me stuff like how not to grab his legs and how to ask for snacks. Sometimes we play this game with monkey stick and Ethel and Wally sings "The Humpy Dance is a chance to do the HUMP." Here are the rules of the game: Wally can hump me, Ethel can hump my head, I can hump Ethel but NO ONE humps Wally EVER.

Ethel is my big sis and we play bitey face and humpy face and chasey face. Too fun, man! Wally sez Ethel is a COUGAR because I'm totes just a baby but I think she's actually a DOG. But I don't know. Here I am with my other friend BULL. E. STICK. Wally taught me how to eat those and also how not to steal them from big brudder and big sissy. But I don't remember how to do that.

Wally sez that my name is literary and my ma ape has read about many Oscars in book. When she was a pup she read Oscar the Dachshund and Oscar the Seal. But my name comes from Oskar in THIS book:

Oscar is a little boy who refuses to grow up and also he can shatter glass with his SCREAM. And what do I love to do? SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!

Later, dudes!

P.S. I still want a MYSPACE because it has glitter backgrounds and music and I don't have to bother with all these WRRRRRRRRRDS. OMG!

Dr. Uncle Eric IN THE HOUSE!

This is an image closing resembling one of my favorite naked apes, ONKEL ERIC who now we must refer to DR. ONKEL ERIC. He defended his disscombobulation today and became a PhDog.


Congrats, Onkel Eric, I am wearing my S**T happens sweatshirt because no one is a more awesome pessimist than you...but then s**t happened!

Dogs in the Newsables

The NYT has had a couple of interesting dog stories in the last week. This one is about the popularity of books about dogs. There is only one thing I can conclude from this--it is prime time for me to get a literary agent to sell my memoir! Please alert the Pulitzer people to start engraving my name now. I would appreciate any suggestions for a title.



And here is this story about states developing laws about "dangerous dogs," requiring owners to muzzle their dogs and buy insurance, etc. if their dog bites a person or another animal. About a dozen people are killed by dogs every year. The article talks about how some of the problem is caused by homeless dogs abandoned by stoooooooopid dog fighters. Seems like the real problem is dangerous naked apes. Someone should pass a law about THAT.



But the most interesting story was this one about Animal Precinct on Animal Planet, it follows the animal cops while they enforce animal cruelty laws. It is getting some criticism because some animal welfare folks think it overrepresents the actual enforcement of cruelty laws and has inflated the number of complaints beyond what they can respond to.

Boooooks!

Maggie tagged me like a MILLION years ago to tell you about my five favorite books. I've been so slow because I am a bookish lad and I needed to think long and hard about what bookables I love to read. So I've made a list and to show my commitment to language I've decided to throw aside mathematical conventions of counting and will list some of my favoritest books. Not five. SOME. And if it bores you just scroll down 'til you get to the pictures of me as cow.

Here are some of my favorites:




This book is what it says it is! It is a HISTORY of PETS in AMERICA. It is awesome and talks about things like the evolution of dog food and our changing relationship with the naked apes and how that relates to historical trends. A little too focused on naked apes and talks about pets other than dogs (ewwww-goddamn cats!)



This book is by a feminist theorist and biologist named Donna Haraway who is so famous she gets to write books about hanging out with her dogs and reading listservs about dogs. That's what my ma ape does all day (or wants to) and she doesn't even get paid for it! She wants to get in on this gig. And also I like how it talks how apes form their selves through their relationships with US, the dogables. She has also written a book called Primate Visions that my ma ape is fond of. Because she's narcissistic and likes books about apes because she is one. Yeesh. Now back to dogs.



Ok, I'll admit I was a bit disappointed in this. I AM a philosopher's dog and so I thought this book was about me or, failing that, that looks like my pal BUSTER on the cover and that's got to be an awesome book, right? It's ok as light reading.



I admit I haven't read this book but I found it when I was looking for Donna Haraway on Amazon.com. I was curious because I thought philosophers WERE the dumb beasts (haha ma ape!).



This is Human, All too Human. by Friedrich Nietzsche. I like him because I am the ueberhund! And the title suggests being human stinks. Which it does!



This is a book called Zoontologies. That's a made up wordable! Awesome! I like the cover. And the editor's name is Cary Wolfe. Wolves are relatives of us.

Now, lest you think I am a non-fiction nerd I thought I'd share some of the fictionables that I like to read.



Ooooh. This novel has DOGS in it. Um, they don't always have a happy ending but it's still pretty awesome. It won the Booker Prize which is not nearly as prestigious as being a Wally Winner which this really is. It has some great things about ethics and animalables.

And now some less deep choices for light reading.



This book is about the Queen's corgis and how they are so awesome and the royal family (especially Charles) is kind of lame.



Paddington is a very smart little bear (from Darkest Peru) who is chub, loveable, and an eater of marmalade. He's a bit of a role model for me. My ma ape was a big Paddington Bear fan as a wee lass. She even had a Paddington costume that my granny made for her. Whoa. Sadly, she does not wear it anymore.



And Curious George! I picked this one because it's the one where he eats the puzzle piece and sometimes I have to see the doctor when I eat things I'm not supposed to (like bottles of Rimadyl). And then George huffs a bunch of ether--awesome! All I got was charcoal. And sometimes my ma ape says when I get into stuff around the house: "Wally was a good little dog. There was only one problem. He was tooooooooooooo curious."

Those are my bookables! I need to find some dogs to tag now!